Advice: friend too heavy for horse

Yeah. Using a mounting block is easier on horses backs. And it's no judge of whether someone can ride or not. There's plenty of people who can't ground mount for various reason and weigh much less than me. I'm basically 300 lbs and I can ground mount into my western saddle (never tried it in my english) onto a 15.3 hand horse. I only did it like twice awhile ago and would not do it again near this weight unless there was a really good reason to. Being able to do it doesn't mean I should.

It doesn't matter what size you are. You aren't picking on her for her weight or telling her what she needs to be doing/eating/exercising. It's about the health and safety of the horse. The general idea- "I'm sorry friend, but due to horse's condition (sore back and everything else you've mentioned) I need to limit the rider weight she carries for her continued health. I know this means that you will no longer be able to ride her at this time, but I'm setting a strict weight limit of "blank" lbs including tack, which is 20% of her weight. No one, including myself if it came to it, will be riding her over "blank" lbs............."
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I have a very heavy friend. 400+ and he's the most honest person I've ever met. He knows a lot about horses and I'd never be worried to leave mine under his care. But, he fully understands his weight. He plays softball and plays trumpet in a local band. He's just heavy. He knows right off I don't have a good ride for him. But he has drivin the kids go kart! Honesty, honesty,honesty. I don't know anyone who's ever felt bad about telling the truth.
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Actually, I have yet to see the majority of fat people realize just how fat they are, and most of them get rabid if you point out that they need to lose weight.

Tell her the truth, and don't sugar coat it.

Mmmmm you know friends do try and deliver hard messages in a sugar coat, that's why they are friends, not random internet people with a grudge against fat people.

I KNOW how fat I am, I can see the pics, and you know if you came up randomly and told me I need to lose weight I would go totally ape **** on you.

From your previous post on this subject

It is clear that you don't like fat people, so maybe you should stay away from us, maybe it's catching you know

I've only skimmed through this, but I feel I can/should comment as a heavy rider myself.

I always dread that my weight will negatively impact on a horse. In fact, only recently my friends had to work hard to convince me to have a short walk/trot ride on one of their horses, a 14-15HH Quarter Pony because I kept insisting that I would squash him (which proves, by 'the majority of fat people realize just how fat they are, and most of them get rabid if you point out that they need to lose weight.' that I'm in the minority!).

OP, if you are unsure about being direct, bring up your mares health problems. Say that you're worried about her health and that you want to cut her back to light riding.

But 'direct' would be best. It all really depends on how she feels about her weight. Me, someone could come out and tell me I'm too fat and I wouldn't really give a damn (though it wasn't the case a few years ago). But if she is sensitive, you will need to be careful. I'd say definitely still let her do groundwork, as it could also make good exercise for her to help her out a little.

It's a shame that you are at such a good weight yourself really, as I know that I am currently in a good place as I have a friend that would like to lose some weight, so she and I are working together to shift the kilos. Just an idea though, depending on how fit she is (because fit and fat aren't always polar opposites), maybe see if she wants to go trail riding on foot, as in you ride and she walks. Compan can really help motivate exercise.

I like Tracer's response. This is a tough situation, but if you have to tell her that she cannot ride until she's a more manageable size for your horse, then offer to help her lose some pounds. Maybe the companionship she feels with you is just as attractive as being with a horse?

Personally, I think you should say something, but don't just close the door permanently. Offer her some encouragement.

I LOL'd (thinks on this a bit)

and I'm old too and know for a fact that everyone around me is getting old too!!! GAHHHH it really is contagious!

To the OP, I know it's a hard thing to do but it really is the best thing for both the horse and your friend. I'd offer to do some ground work with both the horse and your friend. Heck, if you have an arena with sand walking both the horse and your buddy is good non-stressful conditioning!

Hell, I'm off to find a bunch of super models to hang out with just in case

Just thought of something.....a change of direction. Get her interested in driving. She can help with buying the harness and a cart. Horses take to driving (pulling) like ducks to water. In order to use your horse she has to provide full care when she's out, everything you would be doing, feeding, stall mucking, bedding, picking hooves, etc. The exercise will help tone her muscles. Of course she will have to walk behind the horse to teach him the preliminaries before he's hooked up to the cart.