Wish you were nearer to NW MO, I would introduce you to Houdini, he is the kindest soul, and would make someone a great horse for trails. He's had WP training too.
Anyway...one thing that I think is happening with many of us "older riders" is all the "oh, don't do that, wear a helmet, wear a protective vest, don't duck under horse's neck, don't stand behind your horse to work on tail, never ride alone" things we hear and read. I know that has taken a toll on me in some way.
And too, the older we get? The more we realize "Hey...I could be laid up for 4 months here!" instead of "oh, no biggie, went down 50 foot cliff, bouncing like a tennis ball, I'll get back on and finish the ride, then go roof the house and cook supper" like we would have done 20 years ago.
But what you are feeling is very real, and I hope you find a horse that is more chilled out.
Horses make me a better person.