Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Suffolk, England.
I'm sorry to hear you are suffering because of this, and hope that you realise you are not alone. Many of those other riders that you may perceive has being fearless might just be feeling the same as you.
Two weeks ago I went on a rider confidence workshop, which used NLP (neuro linguistic programming) hypnotherapy, and group discussions where we analysed what makes up keep wanting to ride even though there are fears. We also had sessions on a mechanical horse that produces read outs of rider position, ie if you are in front of or behind the movement, or if you put weight more to the left or the right etc. It was very useful, and I would definitely advise googling for similar workshops near to where you live.
Meanwhile, just take things at your own pace, remember you don't have to prove anything to anyone else, and above all, B R E A T H E, nice and deep and slow, and put a little smile on your face when you're riding. Weird I know, but it's harder to feel anxious when you are breathing calmly and smiling!
Good luck, hope you let us know how you get on.