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Anyone have Fear or Confidence Issues?

This is a discussion on Anyone have Fear or Confidence Issues? within the Horse Riding forums, part of the Riding Horses category

     
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        02-27-2010, 01:51 PM
      #21
    Weanling
    I deal with fear in two ways: 1)I keep the back door open. In other words, I tell myself, you can just stop this whenever you want. You're not being forced to canter/cross a stream/whatever. It gives me a breathing space, and almost always, I will proceed.

    2) Company, on foot. If I'm in an unpredicatable situation (young horse) I might have a problem stopping this, and there's nothing like having an assistant there to help you escape.

    My foremost motto is: Safety First. That's the goal, anyway.

    Now that I'm older I try not to get into situations where home is on the other side of the obstacle.
         
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        02-27-2010, 02:21 PM
      #22
    Started
    Smile

    I had some issues with a horse that I could not form a bond with...I felt like I was training a brick wall everytime I brought her in from the pasture. Besides the fact it took me 2 hours to catch her. Riding her...well that was an experince. I lost confidence after her and took bout 5 months away from horses to straigthen myself out. That was 2 years ago and I really don't think I'm the same rider I was before. I know I can stay on bucks and horses that have just been trained and that I am a good rider, but sometimes its like I have no faith in myself. A workshop for nervous or lost confidence riders is great...I wish I had one around here.
         
        02-27-2010, 09:31 PM
      #23
    Foal
    Wow. That is a great story. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I wonder what it is about the love of horses that motivates people to face their fears. I have taught people that are so fearful and I wonder why they continue to want to ride.
         
        02-27-2010, 10:14 PM
      #24
    Foal
    Smile Is your child motivated to ride

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Citrus    
    I don't have a story to add but was wondering if you could add anything to share about building a child's confidence once they have fallen off.
    I am working on this issue but two things come to mind. One is that people must be motivated to overcome fear. So how much does the child want to ride. When I was a kid it seemed like nothing could keep me off a horse. Assuming someone is motivated, I think it comes back to taking baby steps. Go slow and make sure you have a quiet mount. The third thing that comes to mind is what is the true source of the lack of confidence. That can be tricky. For example someone may appear to fearful of horses but the true source of the fear could be the fear of looking inadequate or the fearful individual gets more attention than when they actually particpate. Hope these thoughts are helpful.
         
        02-27-2010, 10:43 PM
      #25
    Foal
    My story- I started riding when I was 4 and didnt stop till I was about 39, I still had my horses but for family reasons(became my mothers caretaker as she was hit by alzheimers) then when I was 45 I was able to continue with my passion of horse riding.. Now I don't do anything fancy, just trail ride and enjoy. My horses were now 20, so we purchased 2 more one for me and one for my husband.Nov 12 2008 my best friend and I saddled up to ride,, I barley had my bottom in the saddle when the next thing I knew I was on the ground and I ended up with a knee like a football. It was my fault, not the mares I put my knee in her side and she moved like she was trained to do. None the less, when ever I would sit on another horse I would almost want to upchuck.. I had trainer friend freshen up my old 20 yr old gelding,, who didnt need any freshening up. He rode out like a dream. My friend would have to remind me the first few times I rode, breathe , breathe. It has taken me almost a year to be able to get on a horse and relax and enjoy. My old guy was my key and cofidence builder, he is my best friend and I know and trust him..My old guy is the grey with red freckles on the left.(Quad)
         
        02-28-2010, 04:02 AM
      #26
    Started
    Folks

    I am going to post my own story on a new thread entitled: Post Traumatic Fall Disorder. It is not a manual
    On what everyone should do - but it will tell in outline what I have pursued in order to get back to the daredevil state that I was 2 years ago.
    The truth is for me that that will not happen - other health issues have intervened.

    But the point I am trying to make is that it can happen to us all after a serious fall. We need to recognize the symptoms, come to terms with the impact and work on healing ourselves with the encouragement of our horsey friends.

    Suppressed fear, accompanying tension and anger are the enemies, we have to learn somehow how to control them.

    B G
         
        02-28-2010, 10:07 AM
      #27
    Started
    Smile

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Hoofprints    
    I am working on this issue but two things come to mind. One is that people must be motivated to overcome fear. So how much does the child want to ride. When I was a kid it seemed like nothing could keep me off a horse. Assuming someone is motivated, I think it comes back to taking baby steps. Go slow and make sure you have a quiet mount. The third thing that comes to mind is what is the true source of the lack of confidence. That can be tricky. For example someone may appear to fearful of horses but the true source of the fear could be the fear of looking inadequate or the fearful individual gets more attention than when they actually particpate. Hope these thoughts are helpful.
    I totally agree with you. It has so much to do on how much the kid(or adult)really wants to ride or be around horses. Last year, my trainer and me were working with a kid whos horse gave a little crow hop and she fell off. She was scared to get back on. After we talked to her awhile, it came out that she really didn't like horses that much, she was doing it for her mom. We got her on one of the older horses and that was the last ride she took. If she didn't want to work past this fear because she had no motivation, we couldn't make her do something she didn't want to do.
         
        02-28-2010, 11:17 AM
      #28
    Foal
    I have trouble trusting a new horse/a horse I don't really know.

    I had a bad accident about 15 years ago ( I was foxhunting a TB that belonged to a friend and he lost his balance and fell on top of my...I broke my pelvis, part of my back and sustained some permanent muscle damage in one of my upper arms) It was the first time I had ridden this horse. I was an extremely competent rider at the time (eventing at pre-lim) and this really shook me to my core.

    After I recovered I leased a been there/done that TB and rode him at least 4 time a week. I was scared as heck getting on him to begin with, for my first canter, first jump, first hunter pace, ect. I knew if I didn't do these thing soon after my wreck I would probably never ride again, even though I really wanted to. Also, this horse was just the salt of the earth. He seemed to respect my fear and not take advantage of me. That being said, there were times I got on him when I just felt like I was going to throw up I was so scared!

    I still have a niggleing little fear (yes, 15 years later) when I get on a lesson horse or a friends horse for the first time. It doesn't matter if it is a rank OTTB or a child's Connemara! I even was nervous getting on my own mare who I had owned sine she was a baby!

    I am a big believer of facing your fears. I also think talking to someone about yor fear makes your fear loosen it's grip on you. As silly as this sounds, positive visualiztion has hhelped me too.
         
        02-28-2010, 02:49 PM
      #29
    Weanling
    I never had a fear when riding or mount a horse even if I'm a really green rider When a horse that I was riding spooked, bolted and began to canter I fell off . Or more exactly I trow myself of because I loose a stirrup when the horse bolted and I felt very insecure on him without the stirrup and with my lack of experience. I rode only green horses even if I knew that I will surely fall off at a canter or if the horse will bolt.
    My other fall was when the mare I was riding changed direction while cantering. I thought that she was trotting so I forgot to slow her down so when she changed direction I fell off. I have a fear only when I think that the horse can step on me. I always remember when I fell and saw the horse's hooves so close to me. I feel that I'm unable to get myself out of his way and he will step on my arms.

    But my biggest fear is not related to riding, it's related to handling horses. I think that this is because I always dealt with aggressive horses. I'm always tense and cautious around horses that I don't know and even around horses that I know. I'm in a continuous state of alert when I'm around horses because I know that they can bite me anytime. I should mention that I work with a lot of horses that bite and kick. I saw people attacked by horses, and I was kicked when I tried to catch a horse in the pasture, but it was my fault then. I tried to catch a mare that was protective with her food so she kicked me.
    I worked with a horse that would attack anyone if you would approached him at a distance less than two meters. It was impossible to touch him or groom him or catch him in the pasture without being attacked. The hard part was to catch him by the halter (wile being tied) while trying to avoid his mouth and front legs and most important his hind legs.
    And I think that's impossible to overcome my fears while working with dangerous horses. I am able to calm down only near 3 horses that I know that won't attack me or bite me but even with them I avoid the hind legs.
         
        02-28-2010, 04:21 PM
      #30
    Yearling
    When I first bought Athena she was barely considered broke, and I was not entirely aware how green she was until after I bought her. She was too much horse for me back then. My trainer had to suddenly move, and so I was on my own. With a horse that bolted at random times, spooked at almost everything, and turned into a bronc any time I asked her to canter. She had no idea how to back-up, stop, or turn properly. I felt like I was riding a ticking time bomb.
    She was the only horse I rode more or less for months. I would ride her, but I was extremely cautious. I never could relax while I was on her, and it started to feel more like a chore to ride her. Which it was because she needed training, but I didn't have the guts. I would let my friend ride her, and she would ask her to canter. I would sit on the viewing stand next to the arena with eyes like this ->O.O Like holy crap, she can buck THAT high. Lol It got to the point where I didn't want to ride her. I wanted a trail horse, not a project. Most people would say sell her, but I didn't have the heart to do it.
    That summer I went to my friends house in Ohio for almost a month. She has an awesome AQHA gelding, completely bombproof. She let me ride him while I stayed there. We galloped through fields, went on long trail rides, did some jumping. It was fun, and I loved it. I got to remember what it felt like to ride a horse like that.
    I returned from that trip with a new perspective on things. I felt like 'Yea, Athena needs a lot of work, but think of how great she'll be after wards', and I was right. She turned out to be everything I wanted in a horse and more.
         

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