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Anyone have Fear or Confidence Issues?

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        05-16-2010, 03:15 PM
      #41
    Foal
    Excellent

    Excellent input. I have been under the same pressure. I think this is basically the problem that happens in the showring. Now how much is what other people really do or say and how much is what we think they are saying.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by RadHenry09    
    I def. Agree with this as I have been in that same situation.
         
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        05-16-2010, 03:18 PM
      #42
    Yearling
    I can relate to this thread as I rode from the age of 8 . I was raised in a horse family and almost every aunt, cousin etc.. had horses so they were always around me. I was in 4H , trail rode, even did a little jumping during lessons. I never felt any fear even having my own young horse and putting the first few rides on him myself when I was in my early twenties.
    As life goes, I had my own baby got out of horses for almost 7 years...except when we rented trail horses for an hour at a local trail riding stable.
    When I met my now husband he kinda inspired me to get back into horses since it was something I loved so much. He said it was all I talked about , watched , read and my house was always decorated with hundreds of breyer horse models! I decided to shareboard a Quarter Horse that was on a farm that a man owned who taught 4H kids gaming. She was a wonderful mare and didnt do anything foolish with me, a real confidence builder. I then met my Mustang who I was told had more training then he did. I am glad that I was smart enough to realize this and not just get on him. I bought him anyway(probably not the best move) and he really put me in some situations I wasnt sure how to handle. Luckily I was never injured, just some bruises(once when I came off of him) I sent him to a trainer 3 yrs ago and things have been much better. I have since then had multiple experienced riders ride him, handle , trail ride him with great results and I have started riding him more this summer. He did spook yesterday at the "scary" corner of the ring. He jumped to the side like a semi reining spin but I was planted securely and just went with him and he calmed down quickly.
    I do own another horse , a Paint that we got mainly for my daughter but has proven himself to be a great family horse. I don't have any confidence issue with him , he can't be a bit stubborn but has never tried anything stupid with any of us riding him, even my 10 yr old daughter.
    I have taken lessons, worked with a trainer, watched dvds, read books, attending clinics anything that I can put my hands on to continue being a better rider for my horse.
    I still have confidence issue when things are going on around me, if there is a lot of activity around the ring and I feel like my Mustang isnt fully listening to me. It can make me nervous, other more experienced riders watching me makes me nervous....I guess I think they are snickering at me? Which seems stupid but I don't want to look like a fool. I also have confidence issues when cantering so alot of the time I don't even try to ....I can take our Paint outside of ring and ride trails and in the pasture but my Mustang I feel nervous taking him out of the ring. I know he likes riding out better , the ring seems to bore him and he would prefer to be actually going somewhere.
    I def. Would like to find someone to work with me on these issues but in my area it is hard to find trainers , instructors who are willing to come to you.
    Any more insight on a workshop, clinic etc....on this I would love to know more about it.
         
        05-16-2010, 03:42 PM
      #43
    Trained
    I used to feel jealous of people who were lucky enough to have horses when they were kids. I always hear about how carefree and fearless they were. No confidence issues whatsoever. Now when I read post after post about people who have since gotten a huge reality check in terms of bad falls, I feel like I might have been the lucky one. I rode on and off through as an adult, but didn't get my own horse until I was 40. From day 1, I've always had a healthy fear/respect for when I'm with my horse. Safety's always been the #1 priority for me. As you already know, when you're an adult, on the way down to the ground, you think about who's going pay the mortgage, feed the dog, clean the house, etc. It's perfectly normal to worry about stuff like that. I've been lucky so far, and I know I'm going to end up on the ground at some point again, but I just don't do anything that temps disaster. I only ride my own horse. If I show up one day for a trail ride and he's acting like a lunatic, we do ring work instead. When we're both in the zone, we'll take things up a notch and run around in the fields and let loose, but I'm always one gear away from full throttle so to speak. It's just not worth getting hurt. I've had a few falls, but nothing that I didn't get back up from right away. I think if my mind had been in the fearless set, I would have taken much bigger spills by now.

    Hopefully none of this came out wrong. My point is simply that fear in small doses is a positive thing and keeps us safe. You already saw your mistake, so that part of your equation is already behind you. You're smart enough to recognize it, and I doubt you'll ever experience such an episode again.
         
        05-16-2010, 07:22 PM
      #44
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MyBoyPuck    
    I used to feel jealous of people who were lucky enough to have horses when they were kids. I always hear about how carefree and fearless they were. No confidence issues whatsoever. Now when I read post after post about people who have since gotten a huge reality check in terms of bad falls, I feel like I might have been the lucky one. I rode on and off through as an adult, but didn't get my own horse until I was 40. From day 1, I've always had a healthy fear/respect for when I'm with my horse. Safety's always been the #1 priority for me. As you already know, when you're an adult, on the way down to the ground, you think about who's going pay the mortgage, feed the dog, clean the house, etc. It's perfectly normal to worry about stuff like that. I've been lucky so far, and I know I'm going to end up on the ground at some point again, but I just don't do anything that temps disaster. I only ride my own horse. If I show up one day for a trail ride and he's acting like a lunatic, we do ring work instead. When we're both in the zone, we'll take things up a notch and run around in the fields and let loose, but I'm always one gear away from full throttle so to speak. It's just not worth getting hurt. I've had a few falls, but nothing that I didn't get back up from right away. I think if my mind had been in the fearless set, I would have taken much bigger spills by now.

    Hopefully none of this came out wrong. My point is simply that fear in small doses is a positive thing and keeps us safe. You already saw your mistake, so that part of your equation is already behind you. You're smart enough to recognize it, and I doubt you'll ever experience such an episode again.

    I def. Agree with all of this! You make some good points
         
        05-22-2010, 11:41 AM
      #45
    Weanling
    I am dealing with this myself right now. A year ago I came off my horse. Though nothing was broken, I was hurt and it scared me. I've only ridden him a few times since then. I have ridden older, well broke horses and I admit to becoming afraid if they jump from a spook.

    I've got a trainer working with me and my horse. I'm not sure I'll ever trust him not to hurt me again, even though it really wasn't his fault that he did.
         
        05-22-2010, 01:34 PM
      #46
    Banned
    Up until about 2 months ago..i was the 'mikey' of the barn. We would get in a nasty lil bucker or a rescue we knew nothing about and the response was always the same. Give him to Cori, she'll ride ANYTHING! I am not the person who has the prettiest ride but I have always been a confident person, in riding or in life. All of those nasty horses never gave me much of a challenge. I've always had enough sense to stop before we get too far. Go figure it would be my own horse to toss me.
    I got Nico for a song-and-a-dance about 6 months ago. He hadn't been ridden for a year because he scared the bejesus out of his last owner. I was honestly never afraid of him, he is always a gentleman on the ground and though he is a hot-head under saddle, he's rarely unmanageable.
    I had been riding him for about 4 months when I came off. It was 110% my fault. I wasn't prepared to ride (i was tired and a bit hungover :() I really didn't want to go on a long trail ride but my girlfriends all bugged me. When I got on him, I knew he was a live wire that day. While I was figeting with my saddle bags and trying to keep him from jigging, my younger friend tore up behind me at a high canter and blazed past me. I was wile-E-coyote for about 2 seconds. He literally ran right out from underneath me. I landed right on my butt (gravity always draws the biggest part to the ground I say! LOL) and wasnt even upset. Nico stopped in 2 paces and walked right back to me. Girlfriend got a tounge lashing and that was it...til it was time to ride the next day.
    I rode him very cautiously for the next month. Only walking and trotting, very little canter and certainly not out in the open. He knew I was afraid and started to take advantage...spooking at everything and wheeling. Every time I was sure I was going to come off. I still struggle with it but I got a huge piece of my confidence back last week. We were on a long extended trail ride (5 hours) and on the way home a flock of motorcycles passed us. This is Nicos biggest trigger. He bucked and cantered in place. I stayed on. I calmed him down and we continued. That was it. It just took something possibly tragic happening and us avoiding it to bring me back to the rider I once was. (sorry bout the novel)
         
        05-23-2010, 02:27 PM
      #47
    Foal
    I personally, have never suffered a serious injury, but the fear of pain is always lurking there for me. (Be it hind feet, bad landing, etc)

    Years ago, my little sister and I attended riding lessons together. Horses had always been big for me, although not so much for Katelyn.

    It took awhile for me to become comfortable with the school horses because the Morgan that the instructor paired me with was very much a hot-head. Loping with him made me uncomfortable, and I told her this. My words fell upon deaf ears. My sister had been paired with a quiet QH, gentle as could be. He took good care of her, and her confidence quickly grew.

    Long story short, new people and horses came to the stables, and I found myself instantly drawn to this gigantic draft cross. We made an excellent team, and loping with him was so easy! (Vivid memory: I was mucking stables for free lessons and accidentally turned out one of the horses with it's halter on. The instructor came out and tongue-lashed me before storming off. She hadn't told me to take the halter off, but assumed I'd notice. I felt terrible. Said draft cross approached me and put his big thick head on my shoulder, as if to comfort me. I've never forgotten him and that moment.) After that, things started to get better for us with working with these horses.

    With the new people, however, things changed AGAIN. I was put back on the Morgan and another girl on the draft, which really boiled my blood. I still didn't feel secure on this horse! It was the Morgan that frightened me and the cold-blood who brought me back.

    My sister's lesson horse (QH) was also traded off to another person. She was put onto a brand-new addition to the barn, same week he arrived. (I believe he was also a QH).

    Katelyn looked at the horse and told our instructor that she didn't feel right about it (riding the new horse). Instructor essentially told her she'd be fine.
    Katelyn wasn't on 10 minutes before the horse bucked her.

    And all I remember is the third girl and I walking around the smallish arena with our horses, hearing something from the opposite end of the arena, and watching my little sister hit the ground. That was the last day we took lessons from that instructor, and the day that I began to fear being thrown.
         
        05-23-2010, 04:52 PM
      #48
    Foal
    The fear is a feeling, I know very well...
    When I was little I fall off a pony because he didn't want to jump and I broke my shoulder... it took me about 1 years to jump again...
    And 4 yours ago, I bought my own pony, my fav' pony ever... He was so sweet with me but he wasthin and badly nourished... When I began working it really and bringing him adapted food, I discovered that he had a badly habit: bucking as if he was a wild bronco... I fall off... fear was here... but the first times, I succeeded in going on I went back up in the saddle (even if once I had spend a week to sleep because of my back)...
    But in last october, I fell down... I was just in saddle, he started bucking me off, then he ran I was so afraid because of the road! I jumped on my feet and run after him even if my back made me suffered...
    Fortunatly nothing happened to him, but I couldn't ride him again... So I just went to the stables to take car of him during about 7 months...
    And last mounth I moved. I took him in a new barn, and I started to search a teacher... (I had already called someone for his back, but all was fine).
    And on monday... I can say it: I rode my pony! And really it made me cry because it was such a joy... It was a man working with "John Lyon's method"... He helped me and my pony is better now... Just looking at his eyes...
    And I rode him yesterday and I will again because it's ok, I was afraid but it's ok now.

    And to tell the truth, I am just afraid with my pony, the other horses, even the diffuclts one, I has to rode, can't afraid me even if they are bucking me...
         
        05-25-2010, 03:04 PM
      #49
    Started
    "and to be honest, I am only afraid with my own pony. The other horses, even the difficult ones which I have to ride, do not frighten me even when they are bucking"


    Lucifer
    I have often heard people say "I conquered my fears" but very often they have not.

    The fears come from deep within your sub concious mind and can easily be associated with one horse only. The part of the brain which enables you to ride quickly picks up that this pony of yours knows how to hurt you. It will for your protection and the brain's protection prepare you for the bucks or whatever else the pony does to make you fall off. I suspect that as a result you will tense up, you will hold the reins tighter, your breathing will speed up and you will grip - the pony will sense all of these tensions and it will know that you are frightened.
    Maybe out of mischievousness, to prove it is the boss, it will give you a buck. It is not an easy circle to break.

    The obvious solution is for you to swop your pony for another. Why don't you?
         
        05-25-2010, 03:27 PM
      #50
    Foal
    I find that the solution which you offer is too easy and not especially well adapted in my case...
    Sorry we don't have the same way of thinking about horse and horse-riding.
         

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    anxiety, build confidence, fear

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