I would think the owner having a relationship with you would be a good thing. I agree, though, that if you're being impatient with the barn owner as you are with responses here, you won't make a good impression. You need to go accepting a no. In fact, I would go in asking to work just for volunteer experiences and being with the horses, and maybe just mention an idea of doing it for lessons. She doesn't know you, how well you ride, how you treat horses. You also need to prove your level of responsibility.