Beginner ~ Fear and Confidence issues :-(

I’m 21 years old and ever since I could remember I’ve asked for a horse every Christmas as a child. But we lived in the city before but now I live in the country where I can own horses! A neighbor just moved in down the street and they have three horses that they ride by my house almost every day. Watching them has given me the urge to buy a horse in my future.

I am a very nervous person by nature but my problem is I fear horses and I have confidence issues as well. The sad part of it is that my fear and lack of confidence didn’t come from a fall; it was actually from my mom... lol. My mom has an even bigger fear than me. She rode her friend’s horses all summer but it took one horrible incident to scar her, she witnessed her friend trying to break in a horse in a barb wire fence area, bad idea. The horse was caught in the barb wire fence and her friend was thrown.

I’ve only rode horses a handful of times since I was a child, mostly with my cousins and even though I was nervous I loved it and at the end I wish I had more time. But as I grew so did my fear and at sixteen I took one on one courses which taught me how to take care, groom, and ride a horse properly. I was very nervous and afraid but my confidence began to build up slowly and I began to trust the 16 hand paint horse I rode. Even though I became more confident I still was nervous and my pulse was racing. The worst was knowing the horse could sense my fear which made me all the more nervous. But all in all they accepted my beginner mistakes and never bucked me off. Everything was going fine until the 15 hand horse (5 years old) that I was starting to ride bolted because of the night crawlies (that’s what my teacher told me… that horses get a little spooky at dawn and dusk?) I almost fell off but didn’t. That crushed all my confidence and I felt like I was starting back at ground zero. Ever since then when I would ride which had to be around dusk because of my fathers working schedule, every time the horse would always get a little spooked which scared me.

I finished up my last courses and said I would return for more the next summer but never did because I felt too afraid and had no confidence what so ever anymore.


So fast forward four years later.
I’ve decided that I would like to learn as much about horses as possible through reading books etc. Next year I plan on taking courses again but this time I would like to do it at a slower pace for as long as it takes, start by grooming etc and slowly build myself up as well as my confidence. If all goes well I would love to purchase my first horse and continue to take courses with him but I would defiantly need one that is suited for a beginner.

What should I be looking for in a horse (breed, temperament, age, sex?)

What can I do to help ease my fears and help my confidence? Is it possible for someone like me to be able to push past my fears and become a rider?

I go to amusement parks and ride the huge rides, I motocross, skidoo, go four wheeling and I have taken my falls that hurt my confidence slightly but I get right back on the motocross and keep going just more cautiously for a while until my confidence is back. I think I fear riding a horse more because I know with a horse I am not in control of this ride (not fully) and it has a mind of it’s own, I’m afraid of falling and hurting myself terribly.

Sorry for the LONG post!
And I want to thank everyone in advance for all your comments, advice and tips
Natacha

First off, please ignore any typos in this post. It's been a long day and I'm not focusing

Alright. So for a first horse I ALWAYS reccomend a gelding who is on the older side. 15 or older is generally really good for a confidence builder. Obviously stallions are abad idea and mares never lose the stubborn "I wanna do things my way" attitude that most human females have as well.

Although there is no breed that is more relaxed than the toher, as a general rule I like Quarter Horses for beginners, although it really doesn't matter. QH's can be hot just like any toher breed. They are just mroe well know and stereotyped to be cold blooded.

You will want a horse who is very calm, very gentle, and very forgiving. One that doesn't spook at all. See if you can fidn yourself a good sound kid-broke horse. That's what I did for my cousins who were scared. Granted they actually are kdis, but adults can easily hop on a kids horse too if they are sound enough, and any kids horse is worth their weight in gold.

As for easing the fear, just spend some time walking in circles. Maybe ahve someone elad you around or put you on a lunge line so you can walk circles with someone else holding the rope. Once you master the walk, try trotting. Then get off the lunge and try riding on your own. You'll get better and more confident when you realize "Hey, this is easier than I thought!" and then you can advance your way up the ladder.

And OF COURSE you can push through these fears! Fear is a natural reaction your body creates to protect yourself. You jsut have to tell your body that there isn't anything to be afraid of!

At this point you don't have to worry about what breed to look for, age and temperment is more important. You already know that you need something steady and reliable, traits usually (but not always) found in older horses. But you are a ways from that yet.
I think you are on the right track in wanting to take things slow if you are nervous. Reading is great, but it is hands on that you need.
What about talking to your neighbors when they ride by? Maybe they will let you come over and observe them working with their horses, maybe they will let you pet and possibly groom them.
When you feel you are ready to begin to ride, find a trainer who understands what it is that you want out of riding, and begin lessons. Just keep it fun, and don't rush. Keep us posted!

What should I be looking for in a horse (breed, temperament, age, sex?)




What can I do to help ease my fears and help my confidence? Is it possible for someone like me to be able to push past my fears and become a rider?


I would stay with the cold blooded horse or even the warm blooded. They seem to be mellow.

Cold blooded breeds:

American Cream ,Draft Belgian ,Heavy Draft, Black Forest Chestnut ,Clydesdale, Friesian ,Haflinger,Percheron.
Think of drafts and cobs.

Warm blooded breeds:



Quarter horses

Palominos

Lipizzan

Paints

Morgans

Paso Fino

Appys

Standardbred

MFT

TWH

there are many warm blooded horse and they are gentlebut can be frisky sometimes.


I would stray from hot blooded horses:

Anglo-Arabian, Arabian, Moroccan Barb, Pintabian, Shagya Arabian, Spanish Barb, Thoroughbred






Anyone can over come their fears and gain confidence over time. I would start with working on the ground and moving up untill you are comfortable to go in a saddle. You can have someone lead you around if that helps at first.

It sounds like you might have an anxiety condition. Just make sure you take deep breaths and relax. Horses are fun to be around and they are theraputic for many people. You might end up finding it theraputic for yourself.

Thank you SorrelHorse for the great advice! Just reading your post has given me a little boost to tell myself I can do so and I plan on it too.

I will keep all this in mind when searching for a horse to buy.

What is the difference between a cold blooded and a warm blooded?

Is there any real good books, dvds, or websites that would be good for beginners as well as information on Quater Horses that you can recommend?

Thank you again for taking the time to answer my post, I definitely appreciate it.

Natacha

Oh I know a good book!

Horses for dummies is a good one. It's all basics. I thought it was a good book.
Not calling you stupid...just the book title.

Also if you get it RFDTV

Thanks Skipsfirstspike!
I haven't had the chance to welcome them yet but it's bound to happen soon ;) I think it would be very kind if they let me work on the ground by grooming and cleaning around them. They are a couple with a teen daughter and they are in the middle of building the barn and fence for them. They just moved in this past weekend. The past few days it seems I pass by when they are saddling up. We are allowed horses in the area since we all live in the country but this is more of an motocross/four wheeler/ skidoo section.

I figured I would do as much reading to learn about horses first and then work on ground around them, grooming etc. Build my confidence slowly, it will take time. All I know is that every time I ride it's like nothing i've expierenced... I don't think there is a word to describe that feeling, it's wonderful even with my nerves...lol

Thanks again!
Natacha

lol... i'll go and look it up on Amazon Thank you! :) And thank you for the information above, it ansered my question about warm blooded and cold blooded. Yes maybe I do have an anxiety problem I'm nervous by nature, I wish I wasn't so much... I would have loved to hop on a horse with no nerves and fears, but I am confident that with time and patience I will work through my fears, I will keep you all posted for sure

You can over come it. You sound like you really have a passion for them and you are taking the right steps to build confidence. Good for you!

Sorry pet peeve....Gidget, a QH is a VERY cold blooded horse. I know it kit a big deal but it's one of my pet peeves :)

I'm glad you were helped by my post. I deal with a lot of people in your situation, and trust me
Some have a breakdown whenever they see a horse. You'll overcome
The fear ^^
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