I've had 5 different riding instructors over the course of my career, including my current AQHA trainer. Most, if not all of them, have told me I need to be more aggressive while riding. Particularly now, with my horse, who's in training for HUS. My trainer says I'm quiet and soft, which he likes with some things, but sometimes I need do more to get what I want. I believe him, but as sad as this is to say, I don't really know how without being too harsh or mean. It's not like I ride around letting the horse do whatever he wants at all, but I don't always use enough pressure to get results. Any tips on how I can be more aggressive, and how I can learn the difference between what's good and what's too harsh?