Can you help me with something?
 
 

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Can you help me with something?

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        06-19-2010, 05:12 PM
      #1
    Weanling
    Can you help me with something?

    I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

    My physical disability is inhibiting, however I constantly believe I am able to overcome it. I have seen proof I can overcome it.

    My trainer says I should not get a horse until I am able to mount without the handicapped ramp. Therefore, my father and I are determined to prove her wrong and we are building an attachment to our swingset to simulate the height and such of mounting a horse approximately 15hh.

    I am confused. Because she focused on western, I will have to change anyways. Her words seem discouraging. I know she means the best, but I feel I will have to change to an English rider anyways. I think now I should go ahead and buy a horse and get practice. I believe that her lessons arenn't as much education as they are simply practicing riding--many of the stuff she tells me I am already aware of, and I feel I'm just paying for riding time.

    What should I do? Should I spend 400$ to pay for her boarding?? Her lessons are very cheap. I've considered spending $200 at a local board I have been speaking with very close to her, and then shortening to maybe only one lesson a week instead of two. I can keep with her until she can teach me no more, and then go ahead and move to a real English instructor. My only fear is that she might be teaching me bad habits.

    Please give me your opinions. My focus now is building my strength, healing from my recent knee sprain, and finding a horse. I don't know if I should bring her along anymore, or if I should get a friend, or what. If I say, ride a horse, and decide that I want to buy it, would a vet check be sufficient enough (I was going to do one anyways) to tell me everything that my trainer would be able to notice? I am considering riding horses with my father (who is not experienced with horses, but just support and transortation), after seeing them ridden, tacking them up, and catching them--and if I am still interested doing a vet check. Assuming if they've shown before they must be capable, wouldn't they? I don't know if I trust her judgement anymore. From my experiences, her horses are still thin and not as well cared for as they should be.

    =/ I don't know what to do.
         
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        06-19-2010, 05:50 PM
      #2
    Green Broke
    You can ride whatever discipline you want to. There are plenty of riders with limitations that ride western. It sounds like you have some questions and concerns about this person and that would lead me to think you do need to find another person to help you in your adventure of horse buying and riding.

    If you don't know other horsey people, talk to your local feed store, tell them what you are trying to do and they might be able to put you in touch with a horse person. Or try your local Craigslists - there are trainers and people that give lessons that advertise there.

    Whoever you contact, get information about what they have done with other people, have they worked with people that have limitations before? What is their teaching/training style?

    If you feel uncomfortable with a person, find someone new and again, if riding western is what you want to do, don't let someone tell you that you can't.
         
        06-19-2010, 07:42 PM
      #3
    Yearling
    I'm confused why being able to mount without a ramp would be limiting your ability to own and care for a horse. If you have the ramp and means necessary to mount, who cares how you get on! I don't think how you chose to get on a horse matters when it comes to owning one! I'm sorry if I didn't understand that correctly.

    Without the full information I don't really want to make assertions but I don't see any reason why you can't chose the discipline you want. English or western shouldn't make a difference if you can ride :)
         
        06-19-2010, 07:42 PM
      #4
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by xdrybonesxvalleyx    
    My trainer says I should not get a horse until I am able to mount without the handicapped ramp. Therefore, my father and I are determined to prove her wrong and we are building an attachment to our swingset to simulate the height and such of mounting a horse approximately 15hh.
    Good for you! Using a ramp, a mounting block, or a tree stump is all the same. I have to help my wife mount at times due to her arthritis. Don't let anyone tell you this is a problem.

    Quote:
    I am confused. Because she focused on western, I will have to change anyways. Her words seem discouraging. I know she means the best, but I feel I will have to change to an English rider anyways.
    Find somewhere to ride the way you want, Western or English.

    Quote:
    I believe that her lessons arenn't as much education as they are simply practicing riding--many of the stuff she tells me I am already aware of, and I feel I'm just paying for riding time.
    There are always things to learn, but at least 90% is just as you say...time in the saddle, for you and the horse. Nothing replaces hours and miles riding.

    Quote:
    My only fear is that she might be teaching me bad habits.
    A tough one. There are so many styles of teaching and riding. As far as I'm concerned, if you and your horse work together well to do what you want, you're doing fine.

    Quote:
    I don't know if I should bring her along anymore, or if I should get a friend, or what. If I say, ride a horse, and decide that I want to buy it, would a vet check be sufficient enough (I was going to do one anyways) to tell me everything that my trainer would be able to notice? I am considering riding horses with my father (who is not experienced with horses, but just support and transortation), after seeing them ridden, tacking them up, and catching them--and if I am still interested doing a vet check. Assuming if they've shown before they must be capable, wouldn't they? I don't know if I trust her judgement anymore. From my experiences, her horses are still thin and not as well cared for as they should be.
    If you don't trust her, don't take her, but do find an experienced professional. A vet check will cover most of the medical possibilities, but the important part of having an experienced trainer or instructor with you is (objectively) seeing if the horse is 'right' for you. A horse that has been shown can be a plus, but I wouldn't put it on the top of the list of important things to consider, and make sure you see the performance report and not just take someone's word.

    Good luck.
         
        06-19-2010, 09:54 PM
      #5
    Weanling
    Thanks for all of the suggestions.

    To clear some things up, and answer some questions.

    I was /fine/ in a western saddle. It was just when I switched to English that mounting has been a problem. I also discovered I can mount pretty good from a truck bed. =]

    She /knows/ she doesn't know much English, but now I'm mostly using her just for riding time in an English saddle. I don't trust her, that scares me. I feel I should trust her, but I don't.

    I want to show. I want to compete. However, I want to progress. I don't want to have it given to me, I want to be on a horse that I can train to be good while I train to be good. If my wants for competing rise over the horse, I will most likely have to move up, but that will be a few years from now and a VERY touch decision for me that I will put in God's hands, not my own.

    I know lots of people that can't walk well that are beasts in the water. I just think..I don't know. It doesn't matter, I know. I think she just fears I won't be able to handle two-point (and I /want/ to event), although climbing on a 16 hh horse and standing in that position and balancing /aren't/ the same thing. I get it's a process, though.

    I also feel my lessons are for the horse. I /barely/ trotted last lesson, just because she was riding her horse. Normally I cannot get her to trot /at all/, and I don't understand how I'm supposed to canter and jump if she won't even trot. It's frustrating and I feel I'm putting my money in to train Sadie and condition her back to health. I'd be FINE doing that if it were my horse, but it's not! I understand working to get a trot will only make a more responsive horse more responsive once I've learned to cue really well on a less responsive horse, but I just don't feel I'm getting anything at all out of it. I feel like I'm a liability issue. The only reason she won't put me on my last horse was because he's a barrel/jumper. I would rather have him bolt (which he's done before) and be himself then her worry about me falling and breaking my neck on a little faster trot. =/

    It's lots of frustration. I want to just disappear and fade away from her. I don't know how I can nicely say that I want to move more forward, that I want to get a horse. I almost want my father to talk to her, because at first she seemed supportive, caring, and wanting to help me find a horse, but now I'm almost scared to mention anytime I have found a new prospect I want to see. I don't like disappointing people, and I want to screw her over without hurting her, and that goes against all my instincts.


    P.S.
    The place I'm planning on boarding at (also where she is) + if I spend a little extra money on a trailer anyways, is right next to an arena that has a handicapped ramp anyways. I understand the importance of being able to get on.


    Oh!

    I've convinced my dad to build that attachment. =] It'll help simulate me getting on a horse to help work on my strength.
         
        06-19-2010, 10:58 PM
      #6
    Yearling
    To me it sounds like you're not getting much out of your lessons, and that seems to be what's frustrating you.

    If you don't trust your trainer, then you shouldn't ride with her. Period. Especially if you don't feel like she's supporting you after she was doing so before. Look around at different places and if you find another person you might want to take lessons from, go watch them teach a few times, take a trial lesson with them, and tell them what your goals are. Many trainers are very willing to accommodate their students' goals and they'll generally sit down with you and help you outline a timeline. I know when I started feeling like I wasn't progressing all I did was talk to my trainer and she said "Okay look, if you want to move up, I want to see you out here conditioning and riding 5 days a week. You have to commit to it because I want to see you move up too, but if you don't work for it then I won't condone it because I want you and Willie to be fit for it so you don't get hurt." It was as simple as that, and that's what I look for in a trainer. Someone who wants to see me succeed and will help me understand what I need to do to get there.
         
        06-20-2010, 03:22 PM
      #7
    Weanling
    Thanks.

    I've been contemplating going ahead and purchasing a horse and seeing if I can find a trainer who can help me practice on my own horse. I've seen
    A bit of experience that riding one horse is not the same as riding another, and I want to be able to be out there every day and practice, but I can't. Especially when I can't even get her to /move/.

    I do want to find another trainer now, I think. I want to go out and look at those horses and make a decision. I'm thinking of riding until I am at the point where I've accomplished what I want to accomplish and then I can find a trainer that can help me with my individual goals.

    I feel awkward, like I've already abandoned her. I haven't said anything. The other problem is that she has kind of been serving as my maternal figure while my mom has been behaving like a teenager, and I fear that. Now that my mom is coming slightly back to the norm, I've realised I really don't want to replace her at all.

    When I hear it from other perspectives it does sound rather true that I'm not getting much out of my lessons. I've already asked and I don't want to give it two months to wait for her to figure out whatever is making her breathe so hard during my lessons. It's not fair for me to have to try to deal with an old lazy horse with an incompetent digestive system when everyone else is able to ride on sound horses that will canter and trot when cued. Is that just me, or does that sound reasonable to everyone?
         
        06-20-2010, 04:32 PM
      #8
    Weanling
    Alright so I've been thinking.

    Her horses don't look so good. I thought it was the horses, but I think it's her. I'm riding a horse who's sick and old and underweight and I'm having to deal with it--I think I'm just going to take a break, buy my own horse, and then try somebody else. I'm tired of feeling doubt and uncomfortable about this and speaking to her.

    I think maybe God injured me to give me some time off to think about this. The only reason I was using her was to have riding time, and because I didn't hate her, I figured it'd work, but I'm going to take a good long break. If I have my own horse, I don't need her anyways.
         

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