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confidence going down hill.

3K views 29 replies 16 participants last post by  shaggy 
#1 ·
I feel like my confidence in the saddle is going down hill. Especially since I don't have a trainer to tell what I'm doing right or wrong. I've noticed lately I get nervous when my horses trots around the corners of the ring. I have no clue why. I never used to. I haven't fallen off in ages *knocks on wood!* I just know why my confidence seems so shaken. Is it weird that as of lately I feel more confident when I ride bareback then when I ride with a saddle?
 
#4 ·
I don't think it's strange at all. As a younger rider, I worried a LOT about slipping and horse landing atop me in the corners..usually while cantering. Honestly, I think the only thing that has changed is that now I guess I take the attitude, "I'm here, I'm riding, I can't avoid the corners, and if I am going to fall/horse is going to slip, I/it will...there isn't much I can do about it, AND, it is unlikely to occur. Therefore, relax, keep your head about you, and ride on!"

I suppose those are the things I say to myself. I think it just takes time...I imagine you feel "safer" bareback because somewhere in your subconscious mind you feel if your horse were to slip/fall, you wouldn't be "attached" to the horse via the saddle...therefore, it feels to you like you could somehow more easily "jump/slide/etc..." Out of the way...just my guess!

Best out luck to you that this phase passes fast! :0)
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#5 ·
Is your horse well balanced in the corners? Or does he rush the corner and drop his shoulder? If he does, does he do it bareback, too? If not, does your saddle fit? If your saddle fits, but he is unbalanced in the corners under saddle, but not bareback, then you may be relying too heavily on your stirrups when you ride in the saddle, and not supporting him in the same way you do when you ride bareback. Its definitely scary to ride a horse that feels unbalanced in a turn, the fear of falling off, or worse, having the horse fall ON you is pretty disconcerting. Try to remember to keep your horse balanced and collected going into the turn, keeping your legs underneath of you, inside leg lifting his ribcage, outside leg encouraging his hips to move in, and inside rein encouraging his nose to tip in, to keep him bending into the turn, so his body follows the line he is traveling, instead of just his shoulder following the line.
 
#6 ·
Honestly I don't have a clue if he's balanced in the corners. Something tells he's not. lol He does rush them some but not near has bad as when I first got him and he wiped around them like a barrel horse! My saddle fits ok. It would defiantly fit a little better if he wasn't so fat.lol Its a wintec with the easy change gullet system. I love it but I wish it had one more wide gullet! lol
 
#9 ·
Compare your position when you are bareback to when you are in the saddle. Are you sitting deeper bareback? Are you using your thighs more bareback? Are your stirrups at the right length for you? Does your saddle fit you?

When in the corners, are you sitting or posting? Try both and see how it feels. If both feel out of balance, or you feel equally "un-confident" (is that a word?), then practice lots of wide circles first at the walk and trot, then do the corners at a walk, continuing with the wide circle trots and progressively make your circles smaller or ovals narrower. It could be that both you and your horse need to learn to balance the corners.
 
#14 ·
Something else I have discovered with relation to riding confidently is that my horse can feel me being tense.
When I first got her, she would exploit my weakness.
Today, 3 months later, she helps me through.
We've had a couple"come to Jesus"sessions in the round pen, done the join up thing a few times, and now, with every ride, our harmony grows in leaps and bounds.
I talk to her like she's my best friend, reassure her when she gets tense, and let he know how much I believe in her.
I am totally blessed with an amazing horse, and I believe that w have just begun to scratch the surface of our joint abilities.
When I feel that tightening in my gut, I give her a pat on the shoulder, tell her I need a little more, and she always comes through for me.
Its a two way street too.
We're teaching her to back out of our slant trailer, and it freaks her out to no end.
To help her along, I get beside her, and guide her back feet to the ground.
Yes, i've almost been kicked a dozen times, but she seems to calm down some when I help he like that. Sort of like,"I won't let you fall, and I trust in you to to not let me fall either"type .
W have worked very hard to develop our relationship and its been a rocky road.
Spend a little more time together in the round pen, work on your basics, and grow past your hiccup together.
We Marines never leave anyone behind.
Don't grow yourself without helping your horse friend grow too.
 
#26 ·
That's the core of it.... It's what makes it all work and it's what makes it all worth it!

Great post...

....
I talk to her like she's my best friend, reassure her when she gets tense, and let he know how much I believe in her.

.....Sort of like,"I won't let you fall, and I trust in you to to not let me fall either"type .
.....Don't grow yourself without helping your horse friend grow too.
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#15 ·
Great post and advice, AzWantaPaint! I'm going to use it a well as the OP, I'm sure!
This is precisely why forums of this type are so great...we all have similar issues and concerns with our horses and ourselves, thus, with each bit of helpful information doled out, so many people are being aided and informed, far beyond simply the person initially asking a question! :0)
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#17 ·
You said that you get scared for a reason that didn't used to matter. The same thing happened to me. After not cantering for months because I was working in dressage, I was horrified to canter. I did it anyway but (three months later) I still don't like it even though that's the gait I used to love more than anything. And I think bareback makes you (or this is my reason why) know that you'll have to squeeze on more with your legs so you are less likely to fall of.
 
#18 ·
It's normal as we get older for the center of balance in your body to change, especially in women after they have had children. I went through this, riding bareback everywhere and being willing to ride anything I was put on to having an actual panic attack when I went to mount up. It sucked... I love to ride but I was terrified to get in the saddle.

What helped me was mental visioning, just taking a quiet moment to sit and "ride" through the ride in my mind imagining it going smoothly and perfectly with good balance and good behavior from my horse. What also helped was some conditioning with myself to rebuild my core strength. These two simple things got me riding again, but it took a good trainer to yell at me enough (ha!) and keep me reminded that I was fine, to relax and to breathe. Minus a trainer a good friend that is there to spot you and just help keep your mind right will help.

A poorly fitting saddle for you or your horse can also make you feel insecure. Keep in mind that a saddle that you loved a few years ago can feel vastly different as you get older so it has to be comfortable for you AND your horse.

Great advice in prior posts as well, just some things I went through myself and still struggle through especially on a froggy brat that wants to test me. A lot of it is mental, just don't let it take over your thought process and don't forget to get out on the trails some too with your horse. It's the best way ever to build or rebuild a rapport and help with your own confidence and balance as well.
 
#19 ·
Trails...absolutely! I can't wait to solidify my (possible, fingers crossed!) lease horse situation, because as much as I am literally in love with my new lesson horse, I only get to go on trails with my trainer about every 2 months...it's something I've done very little of and think it will go FAR to improve confidence...the arena can get a wee bit stifling at times; given your concerns (which have been mine, too!) I bet trails would be just the solution...no corners there! Ha...only half-joking! So much to experience as a team with your horse out in the world! :0)
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#24 ·
It is natural to have different fears. It's just part of riding, I think.

Just realize that you are a strong rider and know that you can stay in the saddle.

Acknowledge that falling off is a possibility but don't dwell on that possibility. As a rider, you have to understand that risk is involved but chances are you'll stay in the saddle... that's usually how it is I assume, anyway.

And, it's kind of the same thing how some people find western more comfortable than english, and vice versa. Some people prefer bareback to other disciplines. It's a matter of personal preference. I'm the opposite but hey, comfort varies. Some people prefer a hard chair to a recliner...
 
#25 ·
I'm not sure if this will help or not. My instructor is all about thinking about what you WANT to happen not what you don't. (Read about the Law of Attraction) She says the mind is a powerful thing and can control a lot of things. Also, if you think a certain way you may start tensing up and your horse can feel it. For example, I'm very bad about looking for "scarey" things that may spook Dancer. I bet you half the time he wouldn't have been nervous if I wasn't nervous. Also, he is definitely a lot braver with my leasee who is more confident than me. I have noticed that if I start interacting with my horse with a positive, confident attitude things usually go pretty well. And if its hard to do at first, fake it til you make it!! I think this has helped me tremendously and I'm not as scared to ride as I used to be.

I hope this helps! Good luck!!
 
#27 ·
Don't worry about it!
Everyone gets a confidence crisis sometimes, just keep at it and it'll get better!
Maybe try getting a trainer too, or riding a schoolmaster to get your confidence back whilst trying on your own horse?
Best of luck, just keep going and this'll phase out in no time!
 
#28 ·
Thanks for all the great advice everyone it makes me feel so much better and I had a great ride yesterday! With a saddle I might add! lol Shaggy and I walked around a little bit and then i decided to try around the world (since one of mention doing exercise in the saddle and I had't done it in awhile! so it tested my courage a little lol) but I did it and Shaggy did so good to stand still! and then I tried a ground pole exercise I read in a Jumping excerises book I have where you put two or three poles down in a corner and ride over them. I put two down since thats all I have at the barn at the moment. lol It went great also! Shaggy did so well going over them and I think the poles made him have to slow down and think around that corner! I can't wait to switch corners with the poles and see how things go!
 
#29 ·
I like what NorthernMama said. I have to have my stirrups a little longer than would seem for me - I feel better seated into the saddle instead of on top of it. If my stirrups are one notch too high I feel it, I come up out of the saddle more and I'm unbalanced. I think the horse feels it too AND I also have noticed that my hands are unsteady as I try to keep my balance. I guess I just get completely out of whack and that is going to make the horse react too.
 
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