Thanks sky, I think you hit the nail right on the head with your response. I keep replaying the scenario over and over and of course I feel bad the horse got hurt, so I am finding all the dumb excuses for what happened. When I bought this horse ( I did ride him first but it was rushed which was dumb on my part) I was told he was an easy keeper with no vices. He had a 10 year old girl show him and was very broke. I took that to mean he was safe. But that's not the case he needs someone by his side when he's tied by himself or he starts pawing and dancing around. He's not what I was expecting so Iwas hoping it was us who were at fault. We may be the ones at fault but there are 4 other horses with him that get the same treatment as him and none have any issues like him. I thought I was being a chicken not wanting to ride him, but my gut is telling me not to ride him in the open and I just don't have the nerve to go against my gut.
It sucks because I wanted this horse so bad and I wanted him to be what they said. His hooves need corrective trimming now because the way he walks he wears down one side of his hoof. Didn't know this because his feet were insanely long when we bought him. Was told it was for showing. I don't show so I dunno. Anyways I spent quite a bit on him and I know I won't get that back for him, the horse is terrified of our trailer and won't load ( eyes bulging, broke a lead rope, cut his front leg on the trailer scared) so I think the best I could hope for is a trade... Maybe.
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I'm so sorry that you've been taking this out on yourself. This post tells me the people who sold him were not honest with you.. and that is very upsetting. 90% of the time it's the rider (the person) but I think in this case it is the horse and that responsibility falls on the previous owner.
Also do not blame yourself for the horse's poor choices. He decided to pull back and run off, he decided not to listen. But again, he wasn't taught to be patient and trusting and feel safe by the previous owners.
I know you are capable and you can ride, but this horse just doesn't sound as he was advertised. He might be able to become what you so desire, but it's going to take a lot of work and even then your confidence took a beating so it will be some time before you can ride without thinking about all of the things that could go wrong.
I really hope that this works out. Whatever decision that you choose to make. Corrective shoeing.. well some horses need that as they aren't perfect but poor behavior due to lack of training.. that's very wrong.
It's easy to start noticing all of the horse's faults once the big one is unmasked, but even if you fixed all of those faults down to perfect healthy feet and he ties well.. you would still have a very untrained horse left over that is subject to seriously hurt himself or you.
You were taken advantage of which really sucks. Those kinds of people don't have any business being in the horse world.
Do what you think is best, whether that be keep or sell or train or trade or donate.
I gift you all the good vibes in the world.