It's quite funny that you said this. Although I have never said it out loud I feel like this horses personality is just like mine, which is why I am so back and forth on him. It seemed silly to me but even down to the way his back hoof wears down on the side because he puts more pressure on that side. In this case though, the lack of confidence and the same personalities clash I fear lol.
I am still up in the air on what to do really. If I can find a horse that someones willing to trade ( I would pay a little extra) then I would but if not I think I will wait until we move and in the mean time ride a friends horse. When we move we are building a round pen and arena right away, so I think I would be ok riding him in a smaller enclosed area where he couldn't " run" off with me. I also am going to call around to see if there are any trainers in the area willing to come to me to help with him since trailering is an issue. Ultimately though I think I would like trade him for something more suitable. If I sold him for alot less than I payed then I wouldn't be able to buy another right now and I know that seems silly that getting another horse right away would be an issue but it is. I don't want to let my issues go on for a full year.
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I ride our gelding in the roundpen, in fact I learned to canter with him in the roundpen. He does really well there. I don't ride him on our property, but I have went on a trailride with other people and rode him last year. He does a lot better with other horses.
I just went on a trailride this morning on my mare and my friend rode our gelding. He was rode with a very confident rider and there was one point where he spooked but he just moved sideways fast, if that had been me on him I think he would have bolted
I know a lot of people will probably say what I'm about to say isn't true, but although mares can be moody, I think because they have raised foals they don't just take off kind of crazy. All of the mares I have ridden when they get fearful or spooky they give off signs sort of like they perk up get real watchful, that allows me to get very prepared. I also think geldings are mischevious, my mares never mess with our fences but the geldings sure do
It took me a year to find the right mare for me, I looked so much and I was able to get a feel for the ads. I get twitchy when they say kid safe, bombproof, or when they can't name a single fault on their horse, all horses have faults. I made a deal with my husband he could go out first, give his opinion then I could go out and look, it worked kept me from jumping at the first one
I would ride and ride some more on your friends horse, then you can really start to get a feel for it, and better knowledge about what you want in a horse.