Confidence Knocked Novice Rider seeks experienced advice - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

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post #11 of 23 Old 11-29-2011, 02:12 PM
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What I had always learned was (for a first time horse buyer) what you want to look for is something between the ages of 8 and 12 that has "been there done that". Your friend didn't do you any favors by helping you to choose a 4 1/2 year old pony. My geuss is that it has only about 6 months to a year of training and very little exposure to the outside world.

My suggestion would be to sell (if you can get your money back), send the pony to a trainer, or lease it to a teenager or experienced rider that can put the miles on it while you continue to take lessons and if a new horse is an option, you purchase one that is more suitable for you.

I'm sorry that your first experience in horse ownership had to be this one... :(

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post #12 of 23 Old 11-29-2011, 02:49 PM
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TOTALLY agree, Anabel!!
When I looked at my 5 yo QH, "Buster" (then a 3yo) at a local Rescue, I told them I was looking for something young, but sane, and fairly safe. (I've owned horses since 1985, btw.) I was happy, since I'm in 50's, to let them think that they were very smart, and that I needed something VERY SAFE, now that they are giving away an older OTTB bc nobody will have her!!
I also think I probably know more about training than they do. I say, throw away any pride, don't feel bad about taking a loss on a horse--I've done it, and lived to tell about it!! =b
Riding should be a joy, not something akin to a 60k downhill race!!! Find a middle aged lesson horse for sale. Even if you only get a few years riding with him/her, you'll learn SO MUCH, and you might even be able to pasture-pet that very deserved horse into retirement years down the road. =D
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post #13 of 23 Old 11-29-2011, 03:38 PM
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Silkcookie,

Some great advice here. And I a just wanted to add this resource to it. This guy trains horses and people . I haven't a clue if it's anywhere near you, but it's nearer than the US, so might be helpful.

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I think his name is Tom Moates? He did some training with some US based trainers and he has a great attitude toward beginners.
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post #14 of 23 Old 11-29-2011, 03:47 PM
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Do I think this horse is the best horse for you? No. Do I think you have to sell it? No. Do I think selling her might be a smart step right now? Yes.

She is testing you, yes. But other than her melt down from the feed change it sounds like she is not a bad horse. She just needs some work. Since you are now worried about her it might be best to sell her and find yourself a new mount, that you do not have this history with.

Can you find a new yard, that has trainers that know how to work with novice adults? (Because we adults all know that being a novice adult is very different than being a novice child, we for sure break when we splat.)

Ask around, any other horse people you might know. Check out the local lesson type barns, etc. Talk to the instructors, etc. Find a place you feel comfortable with and then move on from there.
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post #15 of 23 Old 11-30-2011, 04:16 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you all for your replies and advice. Following you advice yesterday I had a word with the person that is caring for her and explained that I was scared to get back on her, I was much more confident in my convictions and attitude as I felt supported by forum members. They have agreed that they will not feed her hayledge, that they will ride her out and teach her the basics, they agreed that she was testing me and that she is a little young and frisky rather then bolty. I have agreed to try one more time becasue I don't believe that she is a bad horse at all. I will see what happens after the weekend and I really really appreciate all of the non-judgemental competent advice. Thank you
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post #16 of 23 Old 11-30-2011, 06:51 AM
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Do they have any been there done that type horses you can get on and get your confidence back? That along with some training for her (or a new horse) and I bet you will be back to enjoying riding in no time.
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post #17 of 23 Old 12-01-2011, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind View Post
Do they have any been there done that type horses you can get on and get your confidence back? That along with some training for her (or a new horse) and I bet you will be back to enjoying riding in no time.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to sell this one and buy a "been here done that ... horse" instead of paying to keep the one that scares you and borrowing the other one? Would you buy a sports car, find you can't drive it well, then borrow somebody else's beater sedan so you can learn to drive better? Would you put your child on this horse? There are PLENTY of horses that are good prospects when young, but never trained to be obedient. I agree with Cherie when she says that there are 4 yo's that she trusts more than some 14yo horses, and it's almost ALWAYS bc of training. I know there isn't a CarFax for horses, but you don't have to keep a horse that isn't suited for you just bc it's an animal that needs an owner. =/
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post #18 of 23 Old 12-01-2011, 03:40 PM
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I did very little riding up till age 45, so I know how you feel. I bought a horse that was all wrong for me - he was very dominant and just too much for a green rider. He'd pretend to spook and leap sideways and turn at the same time - he dumped me half a dozen times that way. I took lessons, read and tried to learn all I could, but I'd lost my confidence and he knew it, so he was always testing me and I was always too tense and nervous to practice what I'd learned.

So I found him a new home and bought a 16 YO been-there-done-that, mild-mannered, sweet little mare, and after almost 1 1/2 yrs. With her my confidence is back and I'm actually starting to learn to ride (not just sit on the horse, point where I want to go and hope for the best :o)

Yes, learn all you can, but if the horse frightens you be aware that you may have difficulty practicing what you've learned. As others have said, I'd evaluate whether you need to cut your losses and move on. And shame on those who're trying to tear you down.
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post #19 of 23 Old 12-02-2011, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Corporal View Post
Wouldn't it be cheaper to sell this one and buy a "been here done that ... horse" instead of paying to keep the one that scares you and borrowing the other one? Would you buy a sports car, find you can't drive it well, then borrow somebody else's beater sedan so you can learn to drive better? Would you put your child on this horse? There are PLENTY of horses that are good prospects when young, but never trained to be obedient. I agree with Cherie when she says that there are 4 yo's that she trusts more than some 14yo horses, and it's almost ALWAYS bc of training. I know there isn't a CarFax for horses, but you don't have to keep a horse that isn't suited for you just bc it's an animal that needs an owner. =/
I never said the OP should not sell her horse. I was just saying it might not be necessary. Her horse might be a good horse.

Nothing wrong with riding a lesson horse. Nothing wrong with buying a been there done that horse. Either way works.

Right now, it might be easier to start taking lessons on a been there done that horse. Even if buying one is the plan, it might take a bit to find one, why not work on your confidence before you are shopping so you are better able to try while you are shopping?
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post #20 of 23 Old 12-02-2011, 01:27 PM
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I have a similar story. I half leased a horse for 2 years. He was a really great horse and took care of me - 17 years old - been there, done that, well trained. When he had to be put down I rode a TB & got bucked off and lost my confidence...(also an older rider). Decided to rescue a beautiful horse from Camelot. Well, Whiskey was frisky and turned out to be too much for me. So I let my trainer have him and decided to take dressage lessons before I attempted to buy another horse!! Whiskey was a very sweet horse but was very forward and I was afraind to ride him. He didn't like the stall and would try to kick his way out of it and was hard to saddle & bridle. He really needed a more experienced rider than me. So I am building my confidence back up at this point and if I decided to buy another horse he would have to be well trained with no habit of bucking or rearing!! Good luck with whatever you decide.
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