Confidence Knocked Novice Rider seeks experienced advice - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 23 Old 12-02-2011, 02:58 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 277
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Skyseternalangel has given very good advice indeed....

It is hurtful when folks you trust turn out to be untrustworthy. Mulder's poster in The X-Files comes to mind: "Trust No One"....

Truly, don't let anyone shake your confidence or your resolve to succeed at this. You're absolutely on the right track in doing your own research and the advice you have received about finding the right person to take lessons from and to get training assistance from is right on target. However, that should ALWAYS go hand in hand with doing your own research and thinking for yourself along the way.

WhatEVER you do, DON'T QUIT!!! Sooner or later you'll wind up with a relationship with your horse that will be priceless beyond description. It'll all be worth it!

If the folks around you at the barn are "dragging you down" then that just means you need a different group of folks around you...

Now I hope things turn up and start getting better right away!

Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel View Post
I'd just like to address that reading about how to train a horse or any kind of research is a very smart move and it was rude of those people to kill your confidence in yourself. You are very smart, and don't let those people affect you. I'm currently dealing with the same thing, it's hard to not be hurt when someone you trusted or held in such high regard turns out to be a bully of sorts.
If you truly want this horse, there are ways to turn it into the horse of your dreams, but it'll cost you in training expenses or riding lessons from someone experienced. I have to tell you from experience, though, I find it is worth it.

I hope things work out for you, you are amazing.. don't let anyone tell you less and don't think any less of yourself!
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post #22 of 23 Old 12-02-2011, 03:17 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Some times Llanelian - North wales, sometimes Hull in East Yorkshire (UK)
Posts: 3,679
• Horses: 5
Peronaly I would advise you to sell this horse and get one more suited to your ability. Something older and more experianced.

I am currently in the process of schooling on a 4yr old horse and I'm a very experianced rider but he has knocked my confidence a lot. I bounce very well having ridden many many difficult horses I have learnt to fall correctly but I've still had several nasty injuries.

At your age and lack of experiance I can garentee if you take a hard fall you will hurt yourself badly.

You need an older pony who is at least 12 yrs old, been there, done that and quiet as they come.

RIDE your horse FORWARDS and keep him STRAIGHT

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post #23 of 23 Old 12-02-2011, 04:44 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: UK
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It seems from reading your posts that one of your problems is that you are out of the loop - you don’t appear to be in touch with experienced horsey folks who can help you. North Devon is a big area but wherever you are located there will be a local branch of the BHS and belonging to it will be a significant number of knowledgeable horsey people. Devon is also hunting country and for sure there will be members who can give help and advice with trail riding.

You need to find locally a rider trainer - not any old trainer - rather one whom you feel comfortable with and one who has the ability to train both horse and rider.

Your age is no real problem but your lack of horse knowledge is.
Doing Pilates exercises on the centre core muscles would help you if you can find a local practitioner.
The horse is a problem for you, but as you learn more assertiveness that should eventually come right.

The mistake you have made is to buy your own horse too soon when you were not ready to handle it, train it and ride it. Adding to the problem is that you seem to have bought the wrong horse for your needs. So now you have a steep learning curve. You have a horse, the land and an interest - it would be sad to hear you had quit.

You’ve made little mention of what you are aiming to do with this horse. If the idea is to ride across Exmoor then your horse is probably too young and inexperienced to trail ride sole across the moors. If you are planning to ride around Barnstaple or the other towns then you’ll have traffic to cope with on the narrow country lanes. However to hack out you’ll need a companion horse and rider combo

My suggestion is that you looked up the various DIY livery yards in your area and find one with an amenable atmosphere and importantly a training arena - even if you have to travel to use it. Your horse needs a home but you need help and advice more. Certainly for you to set yourself up at home on your own would be a disaster - unless maybe you can persuade a local owner/rider to come and share your facilities in return for giving you help and advice.

What might help to help you with your confidence issues is a horse and rider holiday week. There are several outfits which specialize in helping the nervous rider with the difficult horse. Alternatively with the idea of giving you back some confidence, maybe you might think of going on a horse riding holiday either in Wales or Spain.

Down the road, Silkie, you might come to think that the horse is wrong for you but buying a horse is always at best a fifty/fifty exercise - you either buy the right horse or the wrong one. You could easily buy another ‘wrongun’. You could think of phoning up Hartpury College in Gloucestershire to see if they currently need a horse for one of their students. They don’t pay to borrow a horse, but the horse returns home well schooled.

There are a lot of unanswered questions arising from your posts. But in your trying to put this situation right, you’ll learn more about horses, so long as you can find someone with soft hands to stroke your fevered brow when it needs stroking.

PS One of my fond memories was when four of us took for a holiday, four horses and four dogs to a very comfortable hotel with stabling on Exmoor. Happy days.
Cacowgirl, cymrujmc and DuffyDuck like this.
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