My boss has 5 mares and 1 gelding. The mares do not, by golly, get to forget their manners just because they are in a heat cycle. No one gets a pass. It's our life and health we're talking about, not to mention theirs! If we get hurt, their life will change for the worse. I've been with 4 of the 6 going on four years and they don't even test me after this long, of course.
If you can't/won't find a trainer for you and the mare, hook up with some professional horsemen (gender neutral). Model what they do for manners, on the ground and astride.
Being around horses is fun. Do what you need to so it will be for you, too. :)