Dealing with the Timid Rider - Page 6 - The Horse Forum
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post #51 of 54 Old 03-30-2012, 09:23 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Missouri
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Honestly? I'd tell her she wasn't welcome since it is all too clear that she is not enjoying herself AND she is ruining the situation for the rest of you.

And she can grow up and suck it up.

Coddling people like this serves no purpose. And I also imagine it is the way she does concerning everything else in her life.

Her behavior will end up getting one of the rest of you hurt.

Life isn't fair, it isn't pretty, and no one wants to put up with someone whining nonstop.

Being firm with her might be the best thing that ever happened to her.

But no way would she be going out with me anymore.

Horses make me a better person.
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post #52 of 54 Old 03-31-2012, 06:55 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC
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I don't think anyones been firm with her either and when she whines
she gets what she wants I think this started with her folks
and her friends

Country Woman

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post #53 of 54 Old 03-31-2012, 11:02 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
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I had a situation like this with my parents, except not really over horses - They wanted me to keep inviting this chick to my house and being her friend, since I was her friend a while ago. Well, she went boy-crazy and ended up with us having to rescue her mini and rehoming it because quite frankly he was maybe a 3-4 on the weight scale and standing in a foot of his own poo. Therefore, I hate her. Really, you need to explain to your parents why you dont like her.

Tell them that she holds your riding back. Tell them that you can tell she doesn't enjoy herself, and makes it hard for you to enjoy your own time with your horse. When she gets her feelings hurt, simply tell her, "We know *your mare* doesn't like creeks and (insert whatever else she is scared of) so we thought you wouldn't want to come." Make it seem like she brought this on herself, and it makes it seem like you aren't critisizing her at all - just taking the words she used out of her mouth. Then maybe, (and hopefully) she will realise she needs to toughin up, or shut up.
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post #54 of 54 Old 04-01-2012, 12:11 AM
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Cantley,Quebec
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It is a difficult position for you to be in for sure but I agree with another poster that the girl in question would benefit from some riding lessons on her own horse to build her confidence. I was in the same situation before but with an older person who panicked and was worried about everything we might meet on a trail ride. We just kept going out with her and gave her plus plus reassurance and showed her some ways to deal with different and scary situations. With time she learned that she could actually deal with some of the scary situations quite easily once we showed her how much fun we could have together. Of course she is still a little weary of some things but she was able to overcome her fears with our help and with the help of our trainer. I have found that is always better to try and help someone overcome their fears (granted they are willing) rather than ostracize them and potentially lose their friendship. Hope this helps!
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