Rascal What a lovely compliment that you pay me. Thank you.
You see, the traffic is not one way. I gain from telling you all what goes on with this evil disease. Writing the story as it happens is cathartic for me.
I am now no longer confident that DiDi will survive - so maybe it is wrong of me to cling on to her. But as long as she shows some fighting spirit, then I must support her in any way I can. The pills may help her, but equally in helping her those tablets may put her in even more discomfort. The list of known side effects in humans, haunts me. Humans take 3 pills in a day, DiDi takes 66!
Yesterday she freaked out, ran around the paddock, slipped
and fell over. She picked herself up and started to graze. Why? Why? Why? It must be side effects - or is it?
As her guardian I can no longer guarantee the horse's comfort and well being. Should I allow her to be the guinea pig of a specialist vet? Should I send her off on her final journey? I have been close to making that terminal decision on several occasions.
So long as she continues to fight her corner, then I must support her. It would be much easier for me to wave her good bye.
Once I sense she has given up, then finally I must help her in the only way left to me. But she is not there yet.
DiDi as a personal riding horse has been a disappointment to me but as a lesson in what owning a horse truly means to a human, she has been a learned professor. I'll never react quite the same again with any other horse.
If by telling DiDi's story I help to put across the message that horses are sensitive, intelligent, willing servants of man then maybe this awful episode in my life has been worth it.
And if some other unfortunate owner is told that their horse has a lung disease, then they might now know what to expect.
This chronicle may have only a week or two to run. But as long as when she hears my car, DiDi's ears prick up and she wanders over to the gate, then I have hope - be it increasingly slender.
Again, Guys, thank you all for lending me your shoulders to cry on.