DiDi - Whither goeth SHe? - Page 35 - The Horse Forum
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post #341 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 05:06 AM Thread Starter
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Location: UK
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Thank you all for your kind wishes,

I have always believed that writing can help me understand what is going on around me. For weeks I had fought to convince myself that there was an option to euthanasia by sending DiDi into retirement - even if it was 140 miles away. At times in the reality of the situation I wavered but for the last month the only option had been to put her down. The medication was her last hope and it proved to be a failure.

The recent hot weather merely illustrated a point which finally I had to come to terms with; her lungs were stiffening up. She was now breathing constantly in short laboured breaths at the rate of 50 per minute. On the last day I persuaded the vet to be brutally honest as to the prognosis for her and he stopped dithering and said clearly that there was now no hope for her.

Attached is a photo of her grazing the grass alongside the area where she would receive her last injection. As you can see she had not lost her appetite. She had already eaten half a dozen pears.
After this little episode I took her back to the reception stable; I talked with her for ten minutes or so, then she turned away and went over to the haynet. It was a good moment for me to leave her to the tender mercies of the vet and his caring stable staff.

I don't know how long it is going to take for me to be able to talk about her going but writing does help me to express my thoughts.
Thank you all for being an audience.

DiDi sends her best wishes and says: 'good bye' to you all.

Barry G
Attached Images
File Type: jpg DiDi last day at BW HF copy.jpg (66.0 KB, 116 views)
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post #342 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 10:01 AM
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I wish there were words to ease the pain. Thank you for putting HER first.

"Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing...well, ignore it mostly."
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post #343 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 10:25 AM
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Barry, I am so sorry for your loss. You & DiDi both fought a good fight. RIP beautiful girl.

"Don't Cry For The Horses"
Brenda Riley-Seymore

Don't cry for the horses
That life has set free
A million white horses
Forever to be

Don't cry for the horses
Now in God's hands
As they dance and they prance
To a heavenly band

They were ours as a gift
But never to keep
As they close their eyes
Forever to sleep

Their spirits unbound
On silver wings they fly
A million white horses
Against the blue sky

Look up into heaven
You'll see them above
The horses we lost
The horses we loved

Manes and tails flowing
They gallop through time
They were never yours
They were never mine

Don't cry for the horses
They will be back someday
When our time has come
They will show us the way

On silver wings they will lift us
To the warmth of the sun
When our life is over
And eternity has begun

We will jump the sun
And dance over the moon
A ballet of horses and riders on the winds
Of a heavenly tune

Do you hear that soft nicker
Close to your ear
Don't cry for the horses
Love the ones that are here

Don't cry for the horses
Lift up your sad eyes
Can't you see them
As they fly by

A million white horses
Free from hunger and pain
Their spirits set free
Until we ride again
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Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #344 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 11:49 AM Thread Starter
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Location: UK
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MHF quote:

"Don't cry for the horses
They will be back someday
When our time has come
They will show us the way"

What a magnificent and apt poem. Thank you.

She has gone now. She was teaching me to be a caring owner, right to the very last. She might have been ready for her own demise, I was funking it. The system needed my permission to send her on her way and I hesitated.
With hindsight, I was clutching at straws.

If only when we enter into this world of horses, we understood that there is more to them than slappig on a saddle and riding off into the sunset.

Barry G

Read more: DiDi - Whither goeth SHe?
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post #345 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 12:26 PM Thread Starter
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Location: UK
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A Horse's prayer

In my dealings with horses I have tried to follow the words of this poem which I discovered many years ago. The poem doesn't scan or follow the rules of literature but the guy who wrote it was a lover of horses.

A Horse's Prayer
Boss, I am your chosen steed to walk and trot with you.
But when each day of trek is done, Please feed me, give me water and care for me. Leave me in my stable, with a clean dry bed and space enough to lie down and doze. Otherwise, let me munch the grass and breathe fresh air and be with friends whilst youíre not there.

Be kind, be gentle and talk softly with me; Your voice means more than reins alone. Stroke me sometimes that I may gladly carry you and thereby come to learn your secret ways.
Do not jerk the reins, there is no need.
And do not whip me when the way is hilly.
Never beat or kick me, especially after I did not sense what you meant to do,
Give me second chance to follow you.
Donít shout; give me comfort when I feel fear.
This world is full of noise and not as once it was when my forbears lived here.

I must find my role in life and often thatís not clear.
Watch me, and if ever I fail to do your bidding, first look to see if something is amiss perhaps with bridle, saddle, or my shoes.

Do not draw straps too tightly.
Leave me free to move my head.
Don't force a cold bit twixt my teeth, but please warm it first as best you can.

I always try to do in good cheer the work you ask of me.cand day and night I stand for hours waiting for you to reappear.

My day is yours to order.
An apple here, a carrot there,
A snatch of weeds from off the verge.
Thatís not much to ask for.
Please don't demand of me too much.
Donít leave me tethered in the rain.
Keep me well shod, the farrier to visit when due.
Examine my teeth when I do not eat.
Donít take away my shield against the flies by cutting short my tail.
Nor hog my mane which otherwise would divert the rain,

I cannot tell you when I feel thirsty so please allow me fresh cold water freely.
Do all you can to shade me from the sun.
And when I am to stand out in the cold a thick dry coat put over me.

And finally Boss, if I am in pain or when my useful strength has gone;
Do not turn me out to starve or freeze or send me on to owners new;
They did not know me in my prime.
You did, my Master, you should end my life when the day has come, in a quick and painless way

(from inspiration by AE Fisher of Benwick)

Over the years I have consciously tried to use these words as the code for my dealings with any horse under my care.

Barry G.
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post #346 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 12:59 PM
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You're welcome, Barry. Big hugs!

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #347 of 371 Old 05-29-2012, 03:53 PM
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I'm heartbroken. It's not the first time, though. After saying goodbye to my last horse, I decided "Never again."

And now I live with two. . .ah well.

Goodbye Didi! I will always remember your beauty, incredible endurance, and the elegant writing describing your life.
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post #348 of 371 Old 06-07-2012, 03:18 PM Thread Starter
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DiDi and the Old Man

I've been looking for a photo to hand on the wall. Here it is and somehow in so many ways it is very apt.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg DiDi 4.12 eating from hand.jpg (57.9 KB, 81 views)
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post #349 of 371 Old 07-06-2012, 10:53 AM Thread Starter
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In our house, we keep pictures of dogs and horses up on a wall in strategic places at an eye level - ie those walls or corners that one passes by in every day life. So. somewhere in the house there is a photographic momento of each of the dogs and horses which have lived with us.

The previous photo of me feeding DiDi with a pear was chosen because it was reminiscent of her last weeks with me. It is in a way a sad memory but one which brings back the grief of her parting.

This new photoof DiDi is something else. It was located by chance and is very representative of the photographer's skill. DiDi was a sparky ride and few riders were sensitive enough to get the best out of her. The
Countess was one such rider.

On that day I watched my horse beat some professionals. She came second only by half of one per cent and one judge said she should have won - but I was well pleased with her coming second at Novice level against a stack of warmbloods.

From this photo one gets a feeling of the raw power of DiDi. It was to be one of her last days of competition - but I am so glad we found these photos of her day of glory.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Leaning over at the canter low res.jpg (89.1 KB, 59 views)
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Last edited by xxBarry Godden; 07-06-2012 at 10:56 AM.
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post #350 of 371 Old 07-06-2012, 11:44 AM
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You have so many wonderful memories Barry.....she gave you such joy and she was such a beautiful girl.

I can't help but tear a bit when I read your post as it's clear you loved her so.....and how your heart aches now with her gone.

I guess that's the price we all pay for the love and satisfaction we get from valued relationships.

She was a lucky horse to have had someone like you to love her so deeply and care for her so thoughtfully.

Everything must end. It's never easy. Peace be with you brother.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
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