Do you ever get discouraged?

Thank you! I totally understand what you're saying.

I have spent some time riding her in the pasture and groom her everyday. I'm planning a trail ride next week with a friend of mine. We just haven't gotten it together yet! She's always trying to test me because I swear she knows I'm not experienced. I make a HUGE point to never get frustrated with my horses, in events I never believe it's their fault they are both seasoned professionals, haha, I just get frustrated with my self for making small mistakes. My Aunt always makes me end on a good note, then we go for a nice walk and a rinse off.

Wonderful attitude :) Yeah just.. break it down into small steps, spend time with the horse so you get to "know" her, and be kind to yourself. You seem really stressed out to finish and get it down before the competition.

I kind of did the same thing when I head a deadline with Sky. It was October when I find out and I had till February to teach Sky how to canter, and to get him where he could do it without throwing a fit, changing leads, etc.

Sounds easy right? Well I became OBSESSED with trying to get that canter down. I threw everything else out the window (barely any off days, barely any hand grazing, etc.) it was just canter canter canter in my head. Well my horse began to avoid me out in pasture. That's his way of telling you "You are being way too serious my friend" and it took 5 times in a row to get through my thick skull that I needed to re-focus not on the canter, but on our relationship. I was sabotaging it by making it all about work and no play or down days.

You are sabotaging your confidence and your abilities by pushing to get the pattern the pattern the pattern the pattern down perfectly.

Re-focus, and things will improve.

Horses will test you...but you will be fine. I agree with Sky, don't pressure yourself so much! I would just say avoid having a strict deadline.

“If you act like you've only got fifteen minutes, it will take all day. Act like you've got all day, it will take fifteen minutes.” ― Monty Roberts

I feel the same way. I have been riding for eight years and I feel like by now I should have accomplished something grand. People will tell me that I'm a good rider but it just does not translate to the show ring which is frustrating.

This is me to a T. My former instructor (wish I could still ride with her, but she's moved) told me this point blank the first time I rode with her- she said "if you don't let the perfection go, you're going to be second-guessing yourself every ride. And soon, your horse will be second-guessing you too."

It's great that your aunt sounds really horse savvy and can give you feedback. Keep her in the loop about your small goals, and ask her for specific feedback. But don't forget to ask about what you did well on any given day too- I'm sure there are things that are improving, but you are downplaying them because of the focus on what could be better.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone! Y'all have all given great advice and I'm so grateful. I was planning on doing some riding today but it's been raining here

I now have no deadline so I am taking everything easy now. We've been having these weird raining spells so my riding is erratic. But if the rain holds off my Aunt will be giving me lessons on tomorrow! I will update with how things go

Well tonight was great! I ran my fastest clocked time on my gelding and even had a bad last barrel, my previous time was a 21 something tonight I ran a 19.6. My mare and I made it all the way through the pattern twice without knocking over a barrel, which is a first for us, and clocked in at a 19.2 in an 18 second arena! I still made small mistakes but two of my goals have been met; 1. Get a faster time on my gelding. 2. Don't knock any barrels over. I'm proud of myself and my horses! Thank you for the support and encouraging words! I now know not to be too hard on myself.

This topic came at a good time! As I kick back with a beer after a TERRIBLE lesson this evening, I can't stop beating myself up. I even cried on the way home - definitely NOT cowgirl. Long story short, I'm on my third reining lesson and my instructor is a very well-known reining champ. I think it goes to his head sometimes. Anyway, he gets a little frustrated with me because I can't seem to get the hang of leads or posting the trot. I think I'm doing well for my third reining lesson, but his cockiness gets in the way sometime...as does my desire to be good at what I do. (I'm a small fry short of perfectionist).

Anyway, he abandoned me mid-lesson and sent his student to teach me leads. I took it very personally and after some thought, rather than give up, I texted him my thoughts. He was apologetic. So we'll dust off and try again on Saturday.

I think when you're passionate about something, you're going to get discouraged sometimes. The key is to take it slow, and make sure you enjoy your time in the saddle or you'll become resentful. :)

Congrats Boomer on a great ride! I guess that we all have discouraging moments. I have only been riding for 5 months, and VACowgirl, I can relate to the frustration and emotions. I have also been very emotional leaving the barn, feeling so down on myself, and then the next day will come and we'll have a break through. I really need to stop comparing my abilities to others, and focus on where I am right now, just slow it down. A good friend of mine starting riding a few months before me. She took 5-6 lessons a week for months, and now is a 'master rider', and she was very hard on me, constantly being a know-it-all, making me feel that I really knew nothing. Always stating her opinion, which of course was always right!!! It took me awhile to step away from that, and really focus on what I was doing, and being happy with where I am in my riding, and basically remember to have fun! Riding I think riding should be fun, not a chore. And enjoying the small things with my guy! Thanks for letting me vent, what a topic!

Nice work Boomer!!!