You have received a ton of great information on how to get this horse working that it appears as though you are taking. I just thought I would add my thoughts. I come from an experience very similar to yours-horse was very difficult and I didn't know who to blame.
Again, what part of "this horse has bad manners on the ground for everyone" and "farrier hates working on it" says that I am the only one with problems riding this horse?
Ground manners do not always translate to under saddle. They help, but do not mean that a well mannered horse on the ground is going to be the same undersaddle. The horse I'm talking about above has always been a perfect lady on the ground, and a little firecracker undersaddle. Not the same thing.
I don't doubt your ability to crack down and get tough with this horse, as I think that's what you're trying to convey.
I have been dealing with this horse's bad manners for FOUR MONTHS. I have already BEEN through the "maybe this is my fault" thing, more times than I can count. I have been through it with my instructor, who has said, and I quote "Usually it's something the rider is doing, but this is 90% the horse."
Would you believe it, but my instructor told me the same thing. Almost a year I pretty much went to war every time I rode the horse, and EVERY lesson she told me: "You ARE a good rider! It's not your fault!" Well, it was after a few months of self-reflective riding that I realized she could not have been more wrong. Yes, it IS my fault. It always HAS BEEN my fault, and I am willing to bet it always WILL BE my fault if something's going wrong.
It was only after I came to that realization that I've been able to progress, and because I am so self-critical, she has improved by leaps and bounds and is still heading uphill.
This horse sounds like a real jerk and lesson horses are great at learning how to take advantage of their riders. My horse was never a lesson horse, so I could not blame anyone else for the bad behaviour. In this case, I'll bet that yes, this horse was spoiled by dozens of poor riders and he is a bit of an arse. But has been said, again and again: "MOST horse problems are actually rider problems." This horse CAN be ridden-you just need to figure out how, and I'm sorry your instructor hasn't been giving you the help you really need.
FOUR MONTHS OF TWICE-WEEKLY LESSONS DOES NOT COUNT AS A "COUPLE OF RIDES".
32 rides...to the guys who have been riding for 30 and 40 YEARS, 32 rides is
"a couple of rides". 8 lessons a month is not enough to prove much of anything, as you seem to be aware of.
Since you evidently didn't bother to read anything in the OP other than the word "whip" and immediately went off the deep end with your assumptions (many of which are not substantiated) and judgmental attitude, and have offered no actual advice, your $0.02 is not worth much to me. If you weren't clear on the situation, which it is obvious that you were not, you should have asked a few questions to get a better idea of what was going on before jumping all over me.
Why do you need to be rude and nasty to anyone who doesn't immediately sympathize with you? The only one I see going off the deep end and flying into a fit is YOU. I understand you're frustrated that some people aren't telling you what you want to hear, but that's no reason to get defensive.
I have read every word of this post. I KNOW this horse behaves for you on the ground, and everyone else hates him. I KNOW the other lesson horses behave for you, and this guy is a jerk no matter what you try. And, as iride said, it doesn't change my opinion. The sooner you learn to look at yourself critically, the sooner you'll be able to make progress with this horse.
I don't really understand what you wanted out of this thread. You've gotten tons of advice on how to make this horse behave, you've gotten sympathy, and you've gotten people who are telling you that you're the problem. Did you just want to vent? Nobody is going to be able to convince you over an internet forum to change your opinions. In reality, it's up to you what you want to do. If you don't want to ride this horse, TELL your instructor. DON'T ride him if you don't want to. If you feel he's holding you back, either learn on a different horse or find somewhere else to learn.
I think it's worth mentioning though (or reminding you, since you've had horses for over 30 years), that horses are like this. Not every one is a responsive, willing, obedient mount, and some are going to be very
frustrating. What is it you want to do? Do you just want to ride for fun and play around with a good old schoolmaster, or are you looking to go farther and really expand your talent? If it's the latter, this jerk is a good way to teach it to you. If it's the former, then find a good old push button to ride. It'll be a lot more fun, and you'll find a lot less frustration. I would agree that really tough lesson horses aren't as fun to ride, and that's what horses should be about, right? If you're not having fun, then find a way to.