Equinophobia...THANKS DAD!! - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #21 of 47 Old 08-27-2012, 09:33 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Central Tennessee
Posts: 311
• Horses: 0
I'm sorry OP, I fail to see what they point of this post is? Do you just want to vent about your dad? Are you starting to feel you might be interested in horses but scared and resentful because of your experience? Are you trying to convince a horse forum, full of people who live for their horses, that horses are bad for you? Please give us some insight into your motives and maybe we can be more helpful.
Silent one is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #22 of 47 Old 08-27-2012, 09:44 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,634
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by toonces302 View Post
Does the name Christopher Reeve ring a bell?
Christopher Reeve was a very experienced horse rider when he had his accident. He was jumping and his horse refused causing him to fall and become paralyzed from the neck down. That has nothing to do with you situation as he was experienced and you weren't. His accident is no where near the same as yours since he was in control of his horse and also knew his horse very well. For whatever reason, the horse decided it either couldn't take the jump or he was disobedient. You were not in control of your horse and you were also unfamiliar with it. That is the fault of the facility and your father should of been angry with them, but if you have really forgiven him, then why post this?
natisha and toonces302 like this.
jumanji321 is offline  
post #23 of 47 Old 08-27-2012, 10:06 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Southeastern PA
Posts: 9,420
• Horses: 1
I am not convinced that you are not a troll, but giving you the benefit of the doubt....

First time on a horse as young children, you cannot be expected to be in control.
As a casual consumer, your dad cannot be expected to be able to evaluate the horses and riding barn either.

The fault lays with the barn.

The fact that your dad is still going on about this, seems to show that he has something to prove about how amazing he is, while his children were not.
The fact that you are still going on about this, shows that you need to get over it.
natisha and toonces302 like this.
AlexS is offline  
post #24 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 03:59 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: North Dakota, USA
Posts: 3,440
• Horses: 8
I will say you are right that your dad should not have blamed or yelled at you and your sister. However, it is not his fault you have a fear of horses. That is from your experience of the ride. The fear is from not being in control of the horse. It's up to you to overcome that fear.

You say you forgive him but you still blame him. That is not forgiving.

If you want some examples of first experiences, I'll share mine. I was at camp. They had me get on a horse and decided to play tag. I had no clue how to get the horse to move or turn. No it wasn't fearful but it left a bad distaste for riding horses. I did get past it in time and now many years later, we have 7 horses. I enjoy all the time I spend with them even if it's just doing the chores with having them.

We've had many children put on our horses. Many of them are scared to get on. We help push them past their fear and then it's almost impossible to get them off. That's what you need to do if you want to ride. Push yourself past your fear. If you don't want to ride ever again, let it go and go on with your life. Quit living in the past.

Only you can conquer your fear. Yes others can help, but it's up to you. Take some lessons with a trainer but explain to them about your fear. If you have friends or know someone that has a horse, ask if you can spend time with them around their horse. That will also help you learn how to handle the horse some. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

Horses are magnificent creatures. Don't let one bad experience keep you from enjoying them.
Posted via Mobile Device
toonces302 and Tdkalilajohara like this.
usandpets is offline  
post #25 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 06:05 AM
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NQ, Australia
Posts: 351
• Horses: 0
AS you say, it was a bad start and I can see how that completely shattered your confidence.

It sounds like that ranch might not have been the best choice but it's happened and it can't change.

Having said that, horses have their own mind and are not perfect just like us, and less than desirable things happen even with a horse you know well.

If you are looking for advice on how to overcome your fear, then you have to just DO it. As with anything, the only way to overcome fear is to face it.

Only As Old As You Feel - Sometimes I Feel VERY Old
makin tracks is offline  
post #26 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 06:23 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 16,846
• Horses: 1
Blaming someone for your phobia... I don't see how that makes sense as you are the master of your interpretations, and therefore your fears and likes.

No one can force you to think or feel a certain way about something, unless you let them.

Your dad was a little... colourful IMOP about saying the kids (you and your sis) needed to step it up but maybe you were being too soft. I used to teach beginners and if they were too soft and silly then I would tell them to step it up too. Horses are too dangerous to be lackadaisical with. The only ones that can handle beginners or softies are the more laid back been-there-and-I'm-bomb-proof equines. That center apparently didn't have those on hand at the time...

Some people also think that a horse is a horse.. which isn't true. They're individuals.

Christopher Reeves was a professional and very unlucky. You cannot go through life afraid or paranoid or you will miss out on so much and be extremely sheltered. No one chooses their downfalls. No one chooses to be paralyzed for life or mugged in the street. It just happens.

Horses and horse riding are both dangerous. You take risks. If you don't want to, that's your problem.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
Skyseternalangel is offline  
post #27 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 06:39 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Riga, Latvia
Posts: 5,652
• Horses: 1
You've had years and years of chances to fight your phobia and get over your past, yet you chose not to. How is your father, horses or the ranch to blame? The past is not real anymore, only this moment is, and it is what we choose it to be like. Your choices now, and nothing more.
Speed Racer likes this.

I have come a long way, to surrender my shadow to the shadow of my horse.
/James Wright/
Saranda is offline  
post #28 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 08:49 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,110
• Horses: 1
Originally Posted by toonces302 View Post
You're right, Katbalu. I've already forgiven him. But the point is, I had no idea how to control the horse.
No, you haven't that much is very clear from the tenor of your posts. Like others, I don't understand what the point of your post was. Laying blame at this stage of the game is simply not productive, nor is it healthy. The bad past experience is just that-the bad past. It's only alive if you keep feeding it little bits of your soul everyday.

Are you now wanting to work on your phobia? If so, there are many ways to work through these things but posting on an internet board whining about your issues and flailing about laying blame isn't one of them. I suggest you look around this board and read the many threads written by people who have overcome fear and how much their lives were enriched by that experience if indeed you are wanting something other than trolling or attention seeking.

Conversely, if you aren't interested in loosing your fear, why are you posting on a horse board at all? If you don't want to be around horses or work on your fear because of your bad experience (which I tend to think has been dramatically embellished just a bit) I doubt there will be many times in your life that horse back riding will be a requirement so just get on with your life.
Speed Racer and Horsealot like this.

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
DimSum is offline  
post #29 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 09:28 AM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Range, WI
Posts: 1,945
• Horses: 8
First of all, you were young and scared and I'm guessing you are remembering it with more "terror" than actually occurred. I worked at a horseback riding stable and the horses learn to take "shortcuts" particularly with kids. We had one horse that would cut a corner and take a shortcut through the woods with just about every rider (we finally put in a fence there so he couldn't do it). The rider was never in any true danger... but I imagine it would be scary for a new rider if your horse goes one way and everybody else's goes another.

Secondly, in your first post the horses were 600 lbs and now they're 1200 lbs... I'm guessing it's like a fish story: they grow with the tellin.'

ONE bad experience with a horse isn't enough to give you and your sister "Equinophobia." A true "phobia" is an irrational fear of something and is often not triggered by any particular event. Just because you're scared or nervous about something doesn't mean it's a "phobia."

The first time I ever rode a horse it was on a trail ride and my horse pretty much did whatever he wanted. I thought it was GLORIOUS because I got to trot when we were catching up with the rest of the group. My mom's horse took her between two skinny trees. We later discovered that one of our friends had ridden the same horse and she did the same thing. These horses plod the same trail day after day and they start developing habits.

My second ride was at a teacher's house (she had invited me over to ride). This WASN'T an old broke trail horse. Something spooked her when we were riding in the field and she took off. I ended up flying out of the saddle. Didn't deter my love for horses one bit.

Ask anyone on this forum and they can tell you loads of stories about falling off horses, etc. and most of us just get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on. ONE hiccup where a horse doesn't go where you tell them to isn't going to give you a phobia.
Speed Racer and Saranda like this.
nikelodeon79 is offline  
post #30 of 47 Old 08-28-2012, 09:29 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Newark, notts, England
Posts: 249
• Horses: 0
I think people saying that they had fallen off, been walked over, etc before they were 11 are in a different situation, as they had been used to horses and it probably wasn't the very first time they had ridden. I think it would make anyone nervous to be at their first lesson and feel like they have no control over what is going on. Also the OP might never have had an opportunity to be with horses again since that day, and if you've had a bad experience and then no chance to have another go and see that you can actually do it then your fear might get worse.

I think it was wrong of your dad to blame you for what happened, I know if my mum was to blame me for everything that goes wrong in my lessons and give no encouragement then I would be upset.

Maybe you should try a riding lesson and explain that you are a bit nervous and then they'd be able to help.
vergo97 is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome