Best thing for you to do is to find a good dressage coach to help you get the basics sorted out. It's difficult to explain via the internet without getting complex :)
Trying to break it down as much as I can here now - but basically, dressage is like building a house. You can't start putting up the frame until the foundation is solid or the house will crumble. Same with dressage. If you don't have solid basics, then the horse wil crumble when under pressure, whether mentally or physically. 'Faking it' will only work to a very limited extent.