Ever have a certain person "down" your confidence? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 16 Old 07-19-2012, 09:34 PM Thread Starter
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Ever have a certain person "down" your confidence?

So, since Major was taken home due to issues with his stifle (which are "better now" apparently... but I'm skeptical), I've been riding Whisper. I've only ridden him for two sessions and he's very very different than Major. Very forward (although I'm starting to like that) but very well-trained once you get the hang of him.

Tonight, I think I finally made my breakthrough with him and up until hearing a few comments, I felt fantastic (as did the instructor and others watching on the bleachers). Seeing as how I've been riding an insanely slow, relaxed, easy to control QH for the last year and a half... it was a big change for me. I feel like it gave me the variety I need in order to gain some more skills; I'm really excited to put some of what I learned to the test of Major.

I was hoping to have a nice video and some pictures of how I was doing.. but Damie (a 20 year old from my barn.. who is proving herself to be quite obnoxious despite not knowing as much as she'd like to think she does) asked my mom if she could hold the camera and ended up keeping it the whole time and took a bunch of pictures. At the end, my mom asked if she got any good ones, and Damie responded with, "I just took ones that show how bad she can get". Meanwhile, the instructor was saying how great I looked and how much I improved.. plus more experienced horsemen were on the bleachers being complimentary as well. I know that my position does need tweaking, but I felt like my way of handling Whisper improved greatly.

Damie continued to go on about how she wanted me to see how bad my position got. She also said how she could've taught this class herself. This was after a week of her putting me down and talking to me like I was an eight year old who knew nothing. It might sound immature to be a bit upset, but I am. I felt like I did really well, for my second time on a horse who is much different than what I'm used to.. and I can take criticism, as I did from the instructor, but Damie isn't too knowledgeable and she's really rude about giving "advice". So, needless to say, my confidence went a bit down.

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post #2 of 16 Old 07-19-2012, 09:46 PM
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Mean people suck. Go with what your trainer and other riders say. There's more to being a good horseman than sitting pretty and someone who only trashes another rider is missing it.
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post #3 of 16 Old 07-19-2012, 11:11 PM
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She sounds jealous and in need of too much attention. Anyone that spends that much time trying to convince everyone else that she's so great and they all suck... has serious insecurities. You'd do well to picture on her forehead "blowhard" every time she opens her mouth. Sorry I'm opinionated but I don't tolerate people like that at all. If it was me I would at some point directly, calmly and not rudely say "is there a reason you feel you need to put people down?" and be sincere. People are afraid to say something to her but I say ask her.
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post #4 of 16 Old 07-19-2012, 11:18 PM
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I too wouldn't put much faith into someone who isn't responsible for your training. All I can say is keep up with your lessons and just let the comments from her go in one ear and out the other. Nasty, jealous people are a dime a dozen, don't let them get you down!
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post #5 of 16 Old 07-19-2012, 11:33 PM
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Next time you pass her in the barn isle, hold the 'L' sign up to your forehead and pretend your scratching an itch (think Damie the Dunce).

Just take some personal solace in knowing that big mouths like that get their desserts....someone will do that to her somewhere else and she is going to get her feelings hurt - you may not be there to witness it, but it will happen and she will be eating crow.

Damie, if you are reading this, eat crow!
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post #6 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 02:27 AM
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Honey you look fine. So if that's your worst.. you must look AMAZING at your par or above level ;)

People like that can go suck life through a straw. They are everywhere. Today I conquered my "downer" and felt amazing because I didn't let their stupid comments get to me.

You are doing fine, and I'm happy that you are riding through it

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #7 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 03:54 AM
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Jore, if that's you at your "worst", then **** you are doing plenty fine.

You have two options-
1- Tell her off
2- Blow her off

Either way, don't feed the troll! People like her need to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities by bashing others.

* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
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post #8 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 02:59 PM
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Does she take lessons? If so, get your camera, sneak a few shots, photoshop them to make them look -really- bad (or use what you have if she's bad enough ... I have a feeling she is!) And feed it right back. "You did such a great thing for me, giving me those pictures to learn from, so I figured I'd get some pictures of you riding to help you out too! Now, I kust kind of used all of them, so there is your worst and your best in there!" Smile, and be all cheery :p Make sure every picture makes her look like the crap she is ;)

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.: For Letting Me Live :. (c) xJumperx
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post #9 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 05:22 PM
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I think you look wonderful! Don't let people like that get you down, just know you are doing well. As the song goes, "Theres one in every crowd" just smile, and enjoy your ride.
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post #10 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 06:21 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah, I blew it off for most of the week, as much as it was bugging me. I think she's just turning into a mini Laura (my instructor).. except a bit more ignorant and less knowledgeable.

And xJumperx, I was thinking that but I know that she hardly rides anymore due to her job.. although my instructor has used her as an example as what not to look like before while talking about arms/hands.
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