Ever have a certain person "down" your confidence? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #11 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 06:31 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 8,157
• Horses: 0
The ones making the most noise are usually the ones who are trying to compensate for their lack of skills. You look fine in those pics. A forward horse is certainly a big adjustment from one that you need to light a bomb under to make move. Just ignore her. It's her baggage, not yours.

You just have to see your distance...you don't have to like it.
MyBoyPuck is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #12 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 08:20 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 17,193
• Horses: 0
You have seen how riding a very different horse can improve your skills. A number of people complimented your riding. Why are you listening to the one negative person? Be glad someone took pics, even if not flattering, because there is much to be learned.
Saddlebag is offline  
post #13 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 08:48 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cariboo, British Columbia
Posts: 11,952
• Horses: 3
Why in the world would you even care what she said about you???? Your instructor, a person you pay money to for her expertise & instruction, uses this person as an example of what NOT to look like. Don't give her any air time in your brain and tell your mom not to give her the camera anymore & explain why.
boots likes this.
waresbear is offline  
post #14 of 16 Old 07-20-2012, 11:44 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 16,846
• Horses: 1
I will add something in. I used to be an instructor and one of the volunteers began to treat other volunteers as she knew better than them and was this knowledgeable person. She began to belittle them because she thought she was being an 'effective instructor" when honestly she was not.

I spoke with her and she was given the choice of cutting it out and staying or leaving. We never saw her again.

That could be what's going on here. But as a fellow horse rider and past beginner instructor, you're in good shape.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
Skyseternalangel is offline  
post #15 of 16 Old 07-22-2012, 07:46 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 902
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by MyBoyPuck View Post
The ones making the most noise are usually the ones who are trying to compensate for their lack of skills. You look fine in those pics. A forward horse is certainly a big adjustment from one that you need to light a bomb under to make move. Just ignore her. It's her baggage, not yours.
I can CERTAINLY comment here! After only three or four lessons on Fancy, a very calm, easy going, WP-y type horse with the smoothest trot in the world (you could literally hold a cup of water while trotting on her and not spill it from the cup!) and whom you had to give a big squeeze to with every stride in order to be able to get enough "oomph" from her in order to post, otherwise her movement was really not ENOUGH to toss me up a bit into the "rising" portion of my rising trot, despite her covering a lot of ground quickly...she is pure QH and simply built to move as smooth as butter...I moved on to a VERY different horse, much like your situation only a lot faster interval between horse #1 and horse #2!!

Those following two lessons were on a horse named Giselle, who is a lovely Warmblood Dressage horse; ALL forward propulsion, movement, impulse, and drive! She has a very action-y trot, lots of bounce and beauty, and tossed me RIGHT up outta that saddle into my rising trot with NO added work from me with each step! Talk about losing one's balance! Hehe...

Anyhow, after two weeks of her, I have been riding Victory now (google eyes/floating hearts!) and she is, well, something in between!

The point being here: IF I had ridden Fancy for a YEAR and a HALF, (as you had ridden Major, if I have the facts right?) and THEN changed to a mare with SUCH different ACTION without REALIZING and fully being told how VERY different everything would be, it CERTAINLY would have taken even MORE TIME to readjust EVERYTHING!

To my eye, in the photos you posted, I see your position as LOVELY, and I am amazed, because had Damie seen ME on a forward Giselle after the WP type Fancy, your MEAN, MEAN barn-mate WOULD HAVE HAD PLENTY TO LAUGH her MEAN OLD BUTT OFF AT!!! I am fully impressed with how good you look in the pictures!

It CAN BE VERY hard to shake off insults, regardless of whom they come from, because in all honesty, insults simply hurt. WE all have an innane need to be accepted and respected and when that doesn't happen it causes SOME doubt and hurt regardless of the source, generally speaking.

I am 100% with MyBoyPuck's comment (sorry I didn't cut and paste!). You went through a HUGE horse transition--from a horse you knew well and no doubt loved, to another horse who is lovely, btw, but whom you do NOT yet know, and who is utterly different from your previous horse, and it appears you did so with beauty and grace. If I were a betting woman, I would say THREE THINGS and believe I'd be right:

1) This Damie was PROBABLY jealous of your riding or SOMETHING about you that was far above her in some way for a while now and just WAITING for an opportunity where you would do something LESS than PERFECTLY well...

2) Damie THOUGHT you riding this new horse would BE THE OPPORTUNITY she'd been waiting for...

3) Once she ACTUALLY SAW YOU RIDE, however, she REALIZED, "Oh crap, she looks good. I am not gonna video tape her so she can really see how good she is, that will KILL ME!" and INSTEAD chose to take stills of you doing what she could PICK and CHOOSE as your "worst" moments (I don't see any "worst" moments in ANY of those photos, and she likely was QUITE disappointed that her plan FAILED)!!

Totally makes sense, doesn't it? I mean THINK ABOUT IT! If your riding SUCKED, wouldn't she have wanted to capture EVERY SUCKY thing about it on VIDEO, like for a whole HOUR or whatever??? Nope, I bet you looked SO SUPER she didn't know what the heck to do with herself!! She was FOILED (as the mean people ALWAYS are in the end!!!) and she had to suck it up again!

She sounds like an evil little troll. Don't worry at all about revenge, because people like that have more than enough poison inside of them to suffer day and night all on their own, (sad, actually!)...

But, since she HAS been talking crap about you, you very well MAY WANT to address her and let her know that NO ONE TALKS CRAP ABOUT YOU! (This is exactly how I handle my life situations that fall under this category and it has YET to not work out in my favor...I've even ended up FRIENDS with women I expected I would be mortal enemies with once I found out what had been eating them about me and we had a good laugh and turned it into a whole new kind of relationship!

At the least, addressing her face to face will DESTROY any future plans to try trash talking you again. Do this (if you like!):

Say to her, (ALONE!):
"Hey, Damie...LOTS of my friends have been telling me all the cruel sounding things you've been saying lately about my riding. Why is that? From the pics you took, from what the other riders said and from what our trainer said, I did great, and when I was riding, I FELT great AND challenged AND like I was learning. So what exactly was it that you felt bothered YOU so much about MY riding??" Then just calmly stand there looking her in the eye and watch her try to look at her feet.

Bullies HATE confrontation, and often will run off crying as they cannot take the pressure of having to face their own insecurities. ESPECIALLY if you end the little talk with: "Oh, hey, how 'bout after you tell me what you thought of my riding, I also critique you and share what everyone has been thinking about your arm position, etc...so that you can improve that...this way, we can BOTH LEARN!"

She'll NEVER be able to tolerate it (bullies can ALWAYS dish it out and can NEVER take it) and if she says "no thanks" that will simply leave her constantly wondering what people have been thinking and saying about her riding. IF the goal here is to teach this "blankety-blank-blank" some manners, nothing works faster to shut up loud-mouth-know-it-alls that to play their own game against them.

Anyway, Jore, no joke, I believe your position looked REALLY, REALLY pretty in all the pics. And even though I am a but a lowly ex-intermediate and now returning beginner rider, I can STILL SEE GOOD RIDING when it is in front of me!! You are doing AWESOME!! And enjoy your new riding horse...sounds like you have BEGUN to bond and this horse will be EXCELLENT for learning with/on....You ROCK, chick!!!!!!!

"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"
Back2Horseback is offline  
post #16 of 16 Old 07-22-2012, 09:31 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Philippines
Posts: 132
• Horses: 2
Her plan didn't work, you look fine. Yeah people are like that. I am sooo use to it now I think something is wrong with you if you don't give me unwanted information. I had not "a" certain person. But a "group" of people who thought they were amazing. At first started to believe them but later on my horse told me very clearly I was better. The only opinion that really matters if you ask me.
Cintillate is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome