I apologize for this sounding so Debbie Downer. I just need horsey people to talk to.
I had been losing some confidence in riding lately. We recently moved to Virginia and I hadn't had time to find a new barn to continue my lessons. I was doing beginner hunters and I wanted to move into just beginner dressage( just to better understand how a horse moves and collection etc)
I've started recently getting fearful and anxious while looking for a new barn. Like there is something telling me that I'm going to get hurt. Really hurt. I just turned 40 and while that's not old by any means, I'm also not 15.
I actually started to re-think riding. Then just yesterday I mentioned horses to our neighbor and he starts telling us how the neighbors down the road us have a paralyzed daughter. I swear I was thinking, "Please don't say from a horse. Please."
So then he tells us how this girl was a dancer and experience rider and one day her horse reared for no reason and she fell. I found her story in several places online. She talks about how she took a fall like she'd taken 100 times before. She slid right off the side of the saddle. Only this time after she landed she couldn't feel her legs. This girl was 21 years old and now she's paralyzed for life.
So as I'm sitting her now, I've lost my mojo. Of course this can change tomorrow. It can change tonight.
How can I be so terrified of something I love so much? I love riding. I really do. But that stinkin' fear in the back of my mind stops me.
This was more of a vent than anything else. I'm sorry for sounding so negative. Has anyone ever had this happen to them?
I told my husband and bless his heart, he says to me, "Well why don't you buy one of those fluffy Gypsy horses down the road? Arent' they really calm and never rear?" I said, " I think any horse can rear if it wants and those beauties are like 10,000 in the US."
He's so sweet. Gotta love a husband who supports the horsey habit.