So on Tuesday I rode Lacey and I realized that I'm actually afraid of her little acting up-nesses and that's why I lunge the heck out of her before every ride... >.<
I realized this because after I brought her in after she ran around all spastasically, I noticed myself getting major butterflies about getting on. Also, I haven't ridden for more than twenty minutes in quite awhile, which might be another sign that I'm scared.
The funny thing was that after I said to myself (I was on her back, freaking out at this point) "Ok, I know I'm scared, but I'm a good rider and I can handle this old nag" and relaxed my whole body, guess who else relaxed and got significantly less scarily tense? If you guessed Lacey, you guessed right. It was pretty funny actually, I felt her physically detense beneath me, through a western saddle! Haha
What do you guys do when you're scared? I've never fallen off Lacey, she's just kinda a firecracker about things sometimes and once she did run away with and buck a girl off (the girl was being stupid and it was back when Lacey was Miss Perpetual Sugar High, but it was still REALLY scary for me) so I think I over think what she could do and psych myself out. And I think about "What if I DID fall off of her?" but when I really think about it, she's super short so it would be way less than a big deal to fall off.
I really wish I had a horsey friend who could come watch me ride and make me feel better but I don't and my trainer (who I haven't ridden with in at least 6 months) got in a really bad car accident a few weeks ago and is currently bedridden (she broke 3 vertebrae).
But yeah, what helps you feel better when you're scared?