Fear Factor & Confidence
So finally after taking a two year hiatus, about a week ago I booked in training sessions with a new coach who is supposed to be stellar. Long story short, the last time I rode I was in the most gorgeous canter I've ever had, until Toby tripped pretty hard and I supermanned right over the top of him bracing myself with my forearm (oops). Of course I broke it, and can honestly say it was probably the worst fall I've had thus far. I didn't get back on that night, frankly because my forearm was killing me and my girlfriends had the horse out of the barn and untacked before I even figured out I was off his back (little bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point).
That being said, I didn't think this had really affected me and was fine with it all until all of a sudden two years passed and I realized that I had stayed away something I really loved for that whole amount of time. The point being that I didn't even realize I hadn't been riding for this long, and when realized, basically forced myself to find a new coach even though I wasn't so sure.
I've been on and off of horses for what must be coming 20 years now, but there's always gaps here and there. I guess my question is, when you find your confidence has taken a walk into the dumps, how do you get it back? I already know the what my answer would be - starting with a new coach will help, going back to basics on flat, and then schooling dressage. Consistency will also help. But I'd like to hear some other posters suggestions.
I think the hardest part about it is not being in a position to own at this moment in time which means I am stuck using my coaches horses. Granted this is fantastic because they are all super quality (I'd own any one of them on problem), but it makes it hard to feel like you're "making it anywhere". So the second part of the post would be, how do you feel like you're accomplishing anything when you aren't training with your own mount?
Lastly, I love riding - but there are times over the last 6 years when I've asked myself the question whether the risk is worth it or not. I've only recently had these thoughts and figure that age has something to do with it. This apprehensiveness has become a problem for me, and when I think about my first coaching session back I find myself worrying more about what it will be like then looking forward to it. The last part of this post is I'd love to hear how other riders look fear in the eye and just get over it, for lack of a better explanation. I know how to say all the right things in my head, "You only live once", "You're a great rider", "You'll be fine", "Be confident", yadda yadda...but practicing those things is completely different now. How can I get some of this nervousness to subside so I can get on with progressing in my riding? And how can I not "feel as sick" about going out to the barn when I have to ride? It's not for lack of loving the sport, this I know - but there are times in the past when I know I have a session booked that I get so tense my tummy feels sick.
Posts welcome, would love to hear your answers.