You said it, you need to think more positive. I often let my mind, the mind of a mother who will always be on the lookout for bad things to protect her kids, herself and all against. I literally imagine the accident that COULD happen if this .. or that ... were to happen. Oh, I will see the horse falling on me, see him dumping me, you name it.
I have had a lot of close calls but "almost falling" is NOT falling.
Anyway, you just have to accept that this feeling called fear is part of the game. When you finish a ride and you're still in the same shape you started, isn't that a wonderful feeling? Dont you feel proud of yourself?
When I come down the driveway after a long trail ride wherein no jogger jumped out and made my horse spin out from under me, I say to myself, "THAT was a good ride!"
AND, as your seat comes back to you , and I promise you it will, you will have more confidence in your ability to deal with the unexpected. Every time your horse spooks or does something dorky and the adrenile shoots thrjough you but you DON"T fall off, that's one more to chock up to a growing sense of your ability to deal with whatever is dealt out.
I had a good ride today!
(I bit the dust really, really hard 10 days ago, and am scared but today,
I had a good ride.
Besides, I have fallen off lots, and though it's not very pleasant, it's usually not that horrible and it's over quickly. Very quickly