Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: southern Arizona
You can also try getting a very sturdy saddle stand and sit in your saddle while on the ground.
In my case, starting at 50, the big problem was my legs would NOT go around the horse's back and down under my hip without physical effort - and that effort creates tension which in turn makes the horse tense and keeps me from settling into the saddle. As a 50 year old male with very tight hips, it literally has taken me years to reach the point where my legs can be relaxed under me. A relaxed leg does more for your seat than having your heels under your hip, so I accepted having a chair seat.
If I had to do it over, I'd take a wide western saddle - one where the stirrups are not hung near the front - put it on a good saddle stand in front of my computer, and get hours of stretching while reading the news.
Also, I tried sitting the trot (and bouncing) until my legs fatigued and were forced to relax and give. Don't know if stretching exercises would have helped - hate doing them too much.