Getting back into riding, brand new to boarding suffering from "stage fright" =(
   

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Getting back into riding, brand new to boarding suffering from "stage fright" =(

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    03-21-2012, 03:37 PM
  #1
Foal
Getting back into riding, brand new to boarding suffering from "stage fright" =(

Hi I just bought a little QH and I feel confident I can ride her (although I haven't ridden her). My problem is I am boarding for the first time, this is completely new to me, I was raised with horses, we bred for a while and I haven't ridden in about 9 years and the people at this stable are mostly English/dressage and I feel very uncomfortable as they are very competetive. I just want to move at my own pace, I don't want my horse to pick up on my discomfort, it doesn't have to deal with my horse just people watching me/judging me! *sigh* Not sure how I want to ride her yet, I am mostly just a trail person. I have ridden English, Western and lots of bareback! I keep getting approached by people, asking my skill levels, giving me the "raised eyebrows" and of course everyone offering a million different opinions. I was planning on keeping her on my parents property when I was looking to buy her, they have pasture and I am comfortable there BUT I ended up boarding her because someone is keeping horses out there that I don't trust and didn't want her to get hurt! I just don't want any problems with the people, yes I am getting back into riding and I am so open to advice, I just don't appreciate being treated like I am "stupid", I get more nervous around people than the darn horses!!!
     
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    03-21-2012, 03:43 PM
  #2
Green Broke
Ask for help, listen to advise, ignore any haters ... HAVE FUN! Once you start riding you'll be kicking yourself for waiting so long ..

JUST
DO
IT

!!
gunslinger likes this.
     
    03-21-2012, 03:53 PM
  #3
Weanling
Give the other boarders the benefit of the doubt. Often, when we're feeling nervous or uncomfortable, we misinterpret others' intentions and get unnecessarily defensive. It's totally OK to be nervous, but try not to let your nervousness color your interactions with your fellow boarders. It's natural for them to come around and ask questions about you and your horse -- they want to get to know you!
Wallaby likes this.
     
    03-21-2012, 03:56 PM
  #4
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by texasgal    
Ask for help, listen to advise, ignore any haters ... HAVE FUN! Once you start riding you'll be kicking yourself for waiting so long ..

JUST
DO
IT

!!

Thank you!! I think maybe I was expecting a warmer welcome and my excitement was kinda squashed by some of the critical responses by people, instead of being supportive, your right I will try my best to ignore, I just hope I make a friend soon, so far not so good but I am hopeful, the weather hasn't been great so I have yet to meet more people!! Probably going to take a lesson soon as well =) Thanks again
texasgal likes this.
     
    03-21-2012, 04:00 PM
  #5
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by DraftXDressage    
Give the other boarders the benefit of the doubt. Often, when we're feeling nervous or uncomfortable, we misinterpret others' intentions and get unnecessarily defensive. It's totally OK to be nervous, but try not to let your nervousness color your interactions with your fellow boarders. It's natural for them to come around and ask questions about you and your horse -- they want to get to know you!
True True!!! Maybe I'm reading a little too much into it, I will find out who is genuine eventually, I haven't met the majority of boarders yet because of the weather not many people have been out there, like I said I have never ever been to a boarding facility and am completely out of my comfort zone! Thank you, I shall keep my ears and brain open ;)!!
     
    03-23-2012, 12:40 AM
  #6
Foal
I was just thinking about this to myself recently. I got back into riding after several years, too. I'm graduating from uni this May, and of course my mind is on getting a proper job and saving up for a horse in the upcoming years. There's a place by my house I really like where I think I would board, but I was imagining the anxiety of being observed by people. This place is local and in a rural town, and whatnot, so it won't have the competitive atmosphere, but I'm sure I'll still feel uneasy. I've grown quite distrustful of people here at school, where people gawk at me and talk about me as I walk by.

I was imagining how I will behave when I have my own horse, whether I'll be able to ride confidently with people looking at me. I'm used to people at lesson barns just treating me like I'm a five year-old and like I'll kill myself just looking at a horse. (I guess liability really gets to them.) I'll feel like I "have no business" walking around with my horse, riding my horse, doing all those things on my own and without someone treating me like I might damage myself or the horse at any moment. Having all that freedom is going to be strange and jarring. I'm inept at simple things sometimes, so I'm sure I'll fumble with gates and just look like a derp in general. I really can't offer any super advice, because I get extremely anxious when I know people are looking at me, I just thought I would let you know I feel the same. I'm the same way, the people unsettle me, the horses don't. >_>
     
    03-23-2012, 05:57 PM
  #7
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhelanVelvel    
I was just thinking about this to myself recently. I got back into riding after several years, too. I'm graduating from uni this May, and of course my mind is on getting a proper job and saving up for a horse in the upcoming years. There's a place by my house I really like where I think I would board, but I was imagining the anxiety of being observed by people. This place is local and in a rural town, and whatnot, so it won't have the competitive atmosphere, but I'm sure I'll still feel uneasy. I've grown quite distrustful of people here at school, where people gawk at me and talk about me as I walk by.

I was imagining how I will behave when I have my own horse, whether I'll be able to ride confidently with people looking at me. I'm used to people at lesson barns just treating me like I'm a five year-old and like I'll kill myself just looking at a horse. (I guess liability really gets to them.) I'll feel like I "have no business" walking around with my horse, riding my horse, doing all those things on my own and without someone treating me like I might damage myself or the horse at any moment. Having all that freedom is going to be strange and jarring. I'm inept at simple things sometimes, so I'm sure I'll fumble with gates and just look like a derp in general. I really can't offer any super advice, because I get extremely anxious when I know people are looking at me, I just thought I would let you know I feel the same. I'm the same way, the people unsettle me, the horses don't. >_>
Thanks for sharing!! It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one!! Although I am having a panic attack as I type this, getting ready to go out and try some lunging with the new girl and my sister is coming, she can be bossy and intimidating, she got her horse about a year ago and way more brushed up on her skills than I am, she is breaking her horse! I know I just need to start practicing but having people watch me while I make mistakes sucks, especially with a new horse I don't know, my horse is broke but I can tell just the week I have had her, she probably was never taken to a trainer and has some spoiled disrespect issues, not aggressive, but some bad habits I need to start working on, good luck!!
     
    03-23-2012, 06:22 PM
  #8
Weanling
Relax, talk friendly to people, ask questions, bring bagels! Make friends.

If after two months you don't have at least a handful of decent aquantances to ride with/talk to, your in the wrong barn. Finding a barn with just the right mix of people is HARD!!! But they are out there, you just have to keep looking!

My current stable is tiny. Five acres and 10 horses boarded - 6 owned by the stable owner and her significant other. I ADORE the care my horses get, but find that I prefer to ride when the other boarders are not there. No one is competative, just really really different in ways to deal with thier horses. I don't like to watch someone set themselves and thier horses up for a wreck, so I don't watch. When asked, I give my advice but I am not phased one way or the other if it is used or not.

The stable owner and I have a blast riding together and there is one other lady there who I am fine with riding with - as long as she does not try to put her kids on one of her half-broke non-respectful horses. The other three... um, no thanks.

But give the people at your stable the benefit of the doubt. You could find that in spite of them being competitive, you find some great friends. Oh, and don't let age differences get in the way! The stable is run by a lady who is closer in age to my daughter than me (she just turned 25, my kid is 21), and we have a blast and can just stand around (and do all the time) and talk horses for HOURS.
     
    03-23-2012, 09:28 PM
  #9
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by yadlim    
Relax, talk friendly to people, ask questions, bring bagels! Make friends.

If after two months you don't have at least a handful of decent aquantances to ride with/talk to, your in the wrong barn. Finding a barn with just the right mix of people is HARD!!! But they are out there, you just have to keep looking!

My current stable is tiny. Five acres and 10 horses boarded - 6 owned by the stable owner and her significant other. I ADORE the care my horses get, but find that I prefer to ride when the other boarders are not there. No one is competative, just really really different in ways to deal with thier horses. I don't like to watch someone set themselves and thier horses up for a wreck, so I don't watch. When asked, I give my advice but I am not phased one way or the other if it is used or not.

The stable owner and I have a blast riding together and there is one other lady there who I am fine with riding with - as long as she does not try to put her kids on one of her half-broke non-respectful horses. The other three... um, no thanks.

But give the people at your stable the benefit of the doubt. You could find that in spite of them being competitive, you find some great friends. Oh, and don't let age differences get in the way! The stable is run by a lady who is closer in age to my daughter than me (she just turned 25, my kid is 21), and we have a blast and can just stand around (and do all the time) and talk horses for HOURS.

Thanks!! Yeah, I have met a few friendlier people now that I have been there longer, found a really cool vet I am SUPER happy with but I really do think I may change barns, it just suck that I am from a smaller area so I don't want any hard feelings with the current woman I am boarding from, she has been really helpful to me and I know she is busy, plus she probably charges a lot of money for her time since she is a dressage trainer/USDF silver medalist and has a trainer come out from Germany!! English just isn't my thing, my sister LOVES to ride and I love to watch, I did a little jumping when I was younger but, we'll see how it goes.

I heard of another place that boards and the guy is really really nice and give's lessons with you and your horse, or you can us one of his, THAT'S what I was more expecting when I signed up for this place, cross my fingers the boarding cost is in our price range!! My sister who has more experience than me worked with my horse today and confirmed what I already thought, her manners are not great, she has an attitude BUT she is a fast learner, so that's good, my horse is still young, will be 6 soon and was owned by a teenager before me whom I suspect let her get away with a lot of things, we're going to get some respect in this horse!!!! Thank you for the kind words and encouragement, this boarding thing is sooooo new to me, I appreciate it!!
     
    03-26-2012, 07:56 PM
  #10
Weanling
Boarding

If it were me, I would go and ride and be confident of what I am doing. If people see that you are confident on what you are doing, they will most likely leave you alone and back off. They won't feel like they should talk down to you or ask you your skill level. Try that or just take your horse and board somewhere else, or drive around and visit a few farms and and ask if you can board at their house. That's how we started boarding horses for people. Someone came and asked if they could board at our horse and we said sure, and put up a fence divider and a new shelter. Now the money we get from boarding helps pay for our horses.
     

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