OP, don't worry yourself (other than thinking of your horse as your best friend - the babying NEEDS to stop!!!!)
I have always found that the frustrated, meaningless 'pull and kick' method occurs were a rider's knowledge ends. If you have run out of 'tools' to fix the behaviour, that frustration creeps in. Have a chat to your instructor, and see if you can find some more 'tools' for your 'toolbox' next time such a problem arises.
This morning I got on a mare for a friend that had no concept of how to move off the leg what so ever. With loops in my reins, asking her to step over off my leg after she'd thought running into it was a great idea, she thought the next evasion to try would be a rear. Talking near vertical, front legs striking.
As a teenager, I think this behaviour would have sent me into fearful reactions, instead of responding to the behaviour. If I had 'reacted' and gone into kick and pull mode, I have no doubt this horse would have ended up flipping on me. As it was, I just sat quietly, tipped her head to the left and kept my leg on until she worked it out and stepped off the pressure.
Knowledge is power and will get you out of a sticky situation 99.9% of the time. The more experience you gain, and more lessons you have, the less you will feel the need to react in such a way. But in the meantime, I promise your horse doesn't hate you.