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    08-11-2012, 10:20 PM
  #111
Weanling
English lessons are great! I take lessons when I can, and they are English. It helps me with my balance, and anytime I can ride and have instant feedback/help, I love it! Take a step back, take a deep breath, and just enjoy your horse time. Stop beating yourself up for not being 'good enough' Never be embarrassed.
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    08-11-2012, 11:02 PM
  #112
Foal
Confidence

Quote:
Originally Posted by katbalu    
English lessons are great! I take lessons when I can, and they are English. It helps me with my balance, and anytime I can ride and have instant feedback/help, I love it! Take a step back, take a deep breath, and just enjoy your horse time. Stop beating yourself up for not being 'good enough' Never be embarrassed.
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I don't know how I am beating myself over this. I am having trouble for some reason learning balance and understanding horses. I sometimes wonder if I need mental help. What would you do if you were in my position to gain back inspiration? I don't think riding is for me. I feel like in my heart the want to to ride is there, but in my mind is gone. I can't explain it. I may be over analyzing this but do you think this is a sign that riding is not for me?
     
    08-11-2012, 11:45 PM
  #113
Showing
Quote:
Originally Posted by djcig123    
I don't know how I am beating myself over this. I am having trouble for some reason learning balance and understanding horses. I sometimes wonder if I need mental help. What would you do if you were in my position to gain back inspiration? I don't think riding is for me. I feel like in my heart the want to to ride is there, but in my mind is gone. I can't explain it. I may be over analyzing this but do you think this is a sign that riding is not for me?
You are beating yourself up over this! Balance can only be gained over time in the saddle. We aren't born balanced.. remember it takes years for us to learn to walk properly. So it's going to take some time to melt into that saddle and stay with the horse :)

Maybe you need a different kind of horse riding lesson. Maybe you should ask about volunteering at a local horse place or changing instructors (sometimes that helps)
     
    08-11-2012, 11:56 PM
  #114
Weanling
Hey there, I just read over this thread for the first time.

I've been around horses ever since I was little, but I'd never had any actual lessons. A lot of the people I met were snobs that only wanted to talk about how much money their horses were worth and all the competitions they had won. My uncle gave me a gelding - very nice of him, but we did NOT get along. I tried picking out a horse on my own and got a very sweet mare, but she was terrified of everything and just wasn't safe to ride. I was miserable for years and decided to sell them both, unsure if I was just going to quit altogether or what.

Anyway my wonderfully supportive husband could tell how much horses meant to me and encouraged me to try one more time. I was SO NERVOUS looking for a horse, terrified that I would fail yet again. But - now I have a truly wonderful mare and my passion is definitely alive and well. She's not perfect, but I 'get' her and we're making great progress.

It's been rough for me to find horsey people around me too. My farrier seems to be a good person, though - she also breeds, trains and competes with sporthorses and offers English lessons. I've never even been in an English saddle, but I'm going to go take a few lessons anyway - it never hurts to learn more.

It can definitely be overwhelming. And if the thought of selling your horse makes you feel relieved, then maybe that's the best thing - but I would encourage you not to give up altogether. Take some lessons, if you can, in any discipline - just to absorb more information.

Imagine how dumb I feel, when I've had horses my whole life and still don't know what a lot of these people are talking about!
     
    08-12-2012, 12:24 AM
  #115
Foal
Confidence

Quote:
Originally Posted by Failbhe    
Hey there, I just read over this thread for the first time.

I've been around horses ever since I was little, but I'd never had any actual lessons. A lot of the people I met were snobs that only wanted to talk about how much money their horses were worth and all the competitions they had won. My uncle gave me a gelding - very nice of him, but we did NOT get along. I tried picking out a horse on my own and got a very sweet mare, but she was terrified of everything and just wasn't safe to ride. I was miserable for years and decided to sell them both, unsure if I was just going to quit altogether or what.

Anyway my wonderfully supportive husband could tell how much horses meant to me and encouraged me to try one more time. I was SO NERVOUS looking for a horse, terrified that I would fail yet again. But - now I have a truly wonderful mare and my passion is definitely alive and well. She's not perfect, but I 'get' her and we're making great progress.

It's been rough for me to find horsey people around me too. My farrier seems to be a good person, though - she also breeds, trains and competes with sporthorses and offers English lessons. I've never even been in an English saddle, but I'm going to go take a few lessons anyway - it never hurts to learn more.

It can definitely be overwhelming. And if the thought of selling your horse makes you feel relieved, then maybe that's the best thing - but I would encourage you not to give up altogether. Take some lessons, if you can, in any discipline - just to absorb more information.

Imagine how dumb I feel, when I've had horses my whole life and still don't know what a lot of these people are talking about!
Well, I'll say that I got started in horses about a year and a half ago. Never owned or ridden a horse before this. My family or friends all do not like horses. My father is not very supportive at all and does not understand horses. I feel left out especially when I go to horse shows and see that most have fancy trailers, horses, etc. Not that I shouldn't be thankful for what I have, but still good grief!! I think the horrid Texas heat has something to do with it also, but I think most has something to do with being jealous having lack of inspiration. I cannot blame this on the horse, I love my gelding to death, but I feel in a way he laughs at me because I am a poor leader to him. He is nicely trained but when I begin to lunge him, etc. he doesn't do it. I feel as if he is laughing at me and mocking me. I blame it on my experience level. I used to trail ride with a group until the leader of the group blamed me for ripping down the flagging on the trails and spying on their camp, which is all lies. No offense, but I do not have a good view on horse people, not there are not any good ones, but I've managed to meet the bad ones which I believe has contributed to my lack of confidence and burned out attitude on riding.
     
    08-12-2012, 12:26 AM
  #116
Weanling
You sound like perhaps you are weary of more than just all the horse frustration. Could that be accurate? Is there possibly more going on? But if not, back to horse frustration...
I don't have the greatest balance. When I'm riding I'm still figuring out where to put my hands, to be soft, but hell - I know I'm still waving my hands all over the **** place! And I can't post and keep my heels down. And I probably confuse the crap out of my horse every time I get on him! But he puts up with me (so far)...
Maybe you're just overwhelmed and stressed out. And the key to dealing with that ( I feel ) is admitting it to yourself, and being okay with it. So what if you aren't a natural. It can still be fun. But ultimately, the decision about whether you want to keep going on this path, or choose another, is up to only you. And you can always change your mind any time you want to.
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    08-12-2012, 02:51 AM
  #117
Foal
Okay, I typed up this like, huge post, and my mouse randomly spazzed out and closed the tab. So let me try this again.

You say you feel inspired by watching other people ride, you love your horse and have a bond with him, you enjoy riding, you just don't feel like you're good at it. All that seems to say to me that you should continue with it, you're just allowing yourself to believe that you're somehow not good enough for riding. There are so many different kinds of people who ride, and I would venture to say that almost all of them needed to work their way up. The kind of "natural talent" where someone doesn't need practise to make progress is extremely rare indeed. So rest assured that even the best riders started as beginners.

You're letting these feelings of frustration and confusion chase you away from something you clearly want to do! But the question is, why? I just want you to know that there are other people out there who struggle with the "little" things like tying knots. :P When I'm riding, even if I'm making mistakes and the trainer is telling me I'm making mistakes, I feel just fine. I don't know why, I don't feel awkward if I mess up when I'm on the horse. I feel that I have more confidence and ability in the saddle because things are less about memorisation and more about feeling. But off the horse, inwardly I'm going "THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK I AM LITERALLY AN IDIOT." I get embarrassed and feel that I'm just not "cut out" for the "horse world". I just don't care, because I love horses. I just tell myself "I didn't grow up on a farm. I have a lot to learn. You'll never learn until you get in there and do it." These little twelve year-old girls half my age, doing everything so confidently and accurately...they made the same mistakes at one point, they were just younger, so it looks like they were "born with it".

Example: my first day volunteering at the local barn, I was leading a horse out into the pasture. I was under the impression that you must always close a gate behind you straight away, or you're going to have a loose horse. But they assured me that I needn't close the gate until all the horses were turned out! So, I thought, surely I must need to lead him all the way out into the field, to the hay, so he won't turn around and run out the gate. This poor horse, he didn't want to move, kept giving me a hard time. They told me I could just let him go. Let him go, really, right by the gate?! >_< He was just giving me a hard time because he wanted to go and get a drink, and I lead him right past the tub of water. "Stupid human," he must have been thinking. After his drink he went right out into the middle of the field to eat. I thought I must have looked like I was torturing the poor thing, keeping him from drinking. That's just how they happen to do things there, and I'd never seen that before. But sometimes you just have to say "Oh well, I'm not psychic. I'm learning, I wasn't born with the innate knowledge of how everything horse-related is done, and how it's done at one barn compared to another."

I think, if I were you, I would look at a few different options: 1.) Sell your horse to a good home and take lessons at a place nearby so you can build your confidence and skill. I bet there's a place closer than an hour away! And make it on a schedule so you can keep track of your progress each week.

2.) Keep your horse and find a trainer who will either come to your house, or find one a distance away that you're willing to drive who will let you bring him to their facilities. Then take lessons on him! (Once again, on a schedule. This keeps you from letting your feelings derail you. It's like, too bad, it's Thursday, time to ride whether you like it or not. ) When your horse starts doing something wrong, the trainer will be able to tell you "When he does that, do this..." and you can practise those things even if you decide to ride him a bit at home.

3.) Take lessons at a nearby place on THEIR lesson horses and find someone nice and experienced to ride/work with your horse in the meantime. If I were you, and if you have the finances, I would keep him because you seem to really like him. Who knows, it could take just a few months of lessons for you to learn enough to ride him without feeling so miserable. From what you've said, to my mind, he doesn't sound out of control or dangerous, just in need of work.

There is no 4.) stop riding, in my opinion! :P Unless that's really, really what you want. But if it was, I don't think you'd keep going to horse shows and posting here and trying at this the way you are. Look how down you are, yet you still haven't really quit. I think that means you want it badly. Just some advice from a fellow (awkward) noob. :o
     
    03-09-2014, 08:29 PM
  #118
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhelanVelvel    
Okay, I typed up this like, huge post, and my mouse randomly spazzed out and closed the tab. So let me try this again.

You say you feel inspired by watching other people ride, you love your horse and have a bond with him, you enjoy riding, you just don't feel like you're good at it. All that seems to say to me that you should continue with it, you're just allowing yourself to believe that you're somehow not good enough for riding. There are so many different kinds of people who ride, and I would venture to say that almost all of them needed to work their way up. The kind of "natural talent" where someone doesn't need practise to make progress is extremely rare indeed. So rest assured that even the best riders started as beginners.

You're letting these feelings of frustration and confusion chase you away from something you clearly want to do! But the question is, why? I just want you to know that there are other people out there who struggle with the "little" things like tying knots. :P When I'm riding, even if I'm making mistakes and the trainer is telling me I'm making mistakes, I feel just fine. I don't know why, I don't feel awkward if I mess up when I'm on the horse. I feel that I have more confidence and ability in the saddle because things are less about memorisation and more about feeling. But off the horse, inwardly I'm going "THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK I AM LITERALLY AN IDIOT." I get embarrassed and feel that I'm just not "cut out" for the "horse world". I just don't care, because I love horses. I just tell myself "I didn't grow up on a farm. I have a lot to learn. You'll never learn until you get in there and do it." These little twelve year-old girls half my age, doing everything so confidently and accurately...they made the same mistakes at one point, they were just younger, so it looks like they were "born with it".

Example: my first day volunteering at the local barn, I was leading a horse out into the pasture. I was under the impression that you must always close a gate behind you straight away, or you're going to have a loose horse. But they assured me that I needn't close the gate until all the horses were turned out! So, I thought, surely I must need to lead him all the way out into the field, to the hay, so he won't turn around and run out the gate. This poor horse, he didn't want to move, kept giving me a hard time. They told me I could just let him go. Let him go, really, right by the gate?! >_< He was just giving me a hard time because he wanted to go and get a drink, and I lead him right past the tub of water. "Stupid human," he must have been thinking. After his drink he went right out into the middle of the field to eat. I thought I must have looked like I was torturing the poor thing, keeping him from drinking. That's just how they happen to do things there, and I'd never seen that before. But sometimes you just have to say "Oh well, I'm not psychic. I'm learning, I wasn't born with the innate knowledge of how everything horse-related is done, and how it's done at one barn compared to another."

I think, if I were you, I would look at a few different options: 1.) Sell your horse to a good home and take lessons at a place nearby so you can build your confidence and skill. I bet there's a place closer than an hour away! And make it on a schedule so you can keep track of your progress each week.

2.) Keep your horse and find a trainer who will either come to your house, or find one a distance away that you're willing to drive who will let you bring him to their facilities. Then take lessons on him! (Once again, on a schedule. This keeps you from letting your feelings derail you. It's like, too bad, it's Thursday, time to ride whether you like it or not. ) When your horse starts doing something wrong, the trainer will be able to tell you "When he does that, do this..." and you can practise those things even if you decide to ride him a bit at home.

3.) Take lessons at a nearby place on THEIR lesson horses and find someone nice and experienced to ride/work with your horse in the meantime. If I were you, and if you have the finances, I would keep him because you seem to really like him. Who knows, it could take just a few months of lessons for you to learn enough to ride him without feeling so miserable. From what you've said, to my mind, he doesn't sound out of control or dangerous, just in need of work.

There is no 4.) stop riding, in my opinion! :P Unless that's really, really what you want. But if it was, I don't think you'd keep going to horse shows and posting here and trying at this the way you are. Look how down you are, yet you still haven't really quit. I think that means you want it badly. Just some advice from a fellow (awkward) noob. :o
I know its been a while since I posted on this site. I've been busy with work and college that I've forgotten about riding. I still have not had any luck finding anyone. I thought I found two people that could help, but I keep trying to call them back and cannot get an answer or reply on my messages. I asked my local feed stores and for some reason that don't know anyone unless their covering their you know what. I've even spent about a couple of hours on the computer searching for anyone, which is how I remembered this thread which was in the search results. I mean tell me that there are other people having this hard of a time or am I just going crazy. Ha! I quit going to the shows because I cannot get in the arena anymore. They have the local arena here sealed shut to spectators. Don't know why that's that way. Anyway I don't know what else to do. Can anybody suggest any other ideas?
     
    03-09-2014, 08:45 PM
  #119
Green Broke
Yes, I can... Step back and take a deep breath. Enjoy just being with your horse, at feed time, and anytime in between. Stop focusing on riding, and let yourself simply enjoy your horse's company. Be observant/sit on a rock or stool and have carrots in your pocket. Let your horse come to you and give a carrot, then brush and groom him. Speak gently, watch his eyes as they trust you. Put on his halter and lead rope, and take him for a good, long walk. Yes, a good long walk! I do this with my horses all the time, and it's a wonderful experience. Just the two of you walking/listening/seeing the sights around you. Then back again, with a profound feeling that something awesome has happened. Remember this : Horses were not created to have us on their backs! The ability to do so is a privelege, as they are herd/prey animals! Never push yourself to do 'as others do' in the show world... enjoy your horse, and never forget, simplicity is the key :)
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    03-25-2014, 12:14 PM
  #120
Foal
Riding is hard, of course it is. So is everything else in life. But just because you had a couple bad apples is that going to stop you from eating fruit ever again ? No of course not. If you really want it, you have to fight for it. I've been riding for a very long time, and have had many spills, falls, been bucked off, kicked, bitten, trampled, you name it, its happened. But that's part of the horse world. You think any other rider hasnt had it happen to them ? Its part of owning and riding a 1200pd animal that could kill you in a second. Don't let what some people have done deter you from wanting to ride anymore, and if you do let them then you didnt really want it in the first place. I hope you keep going, you don't have to be a world champion to love riding horses, pleasure riding is just as good.
     

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