Just from my own experiance with my own daughter, I've come to the terms of - she doesn't want to listen to a word I say. She wants to get on the pony, and hi ho silver away like she's been doing it all her life.
I'm starting off basic, how to hold the reins, how to squeeze the legs, how to stop. Shes getting to have a little trot on the lunge and loving it. I'm like a broken record, but I know that for her to come to terms with how things are done properly, and how to do them well, it's going to have to focus on the fun side for a while.
If my little girl wants to ride, well and good. If she just wants to lead Simba around, so be it. I figure if I push her, she'll go the opposite direction (what else would she do, she is my child afterall).
My recommendation is to focus on the fun. I find myself getting frustrated when my little girl lets the reins go slack, or isnt paying attention but I have to remind myself if it isn't fun, she won't want to do it.