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Help! Tweens and Children Trainers!

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        01-23-2012, 04:30 PM
      #21
    Trained
    I read your other thread and I think it's awesome what you are doing! I too have to give up my time for my own daughter and I do it willingly like you are. PERFECT way to bond.
    As for her behavior, it's natural. My kid LOVES her horse but after she fiddles with him a bit she'll be over in the grass trying to catch grasshoppers. So no worries! Would you or I have done that as a kid, NO WAY! But some are just different. I was super professional around horses, some kids kind of wander...

    MN Tigerstripes is 100% right on. It has to be FUN FUN FUN. Lots of giggling, playing, etc. I only focus on what is going to keep my kid on the horse for now. Sometimes I can get carried away with the techinicalities (sp) and mine will loose focus. I'd suggest taking her outside on the lead for walks instead of working in an arena. Let her tell you where she is going and just walk beside. MHF gave me some great tips, one was playing simon says. My daughter LOVES it. If she doesn't know how to do what I say she asks. Really opens up the communication. I would also make mucking out fun and do it with her, see who can scoop the fastest, make a corner the cleanest, then flip some on her and let her do the same, get into a poop fight! Be silly, trust me I have to force myself some of the time but it's worth it!

    You are doing great! Awesome future step mom!
    If you get stuck you may want to release the lease and/or get her enrolled in horse lessons with other kids around. A group setting may help!
         
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        01-23-2012, 04:34 PM
      #22
    Yearling
    Just from my own experiance with my own daughter, I've come to the terms of - she doesn't want to listen to a word I say. She wants to get on the pony, and hi ho silver away like she's been doing it all her life.

    I'm starting off basic, how to hold the reins, how to squeeze the legs, how to stop. She's getting to have a little trot on the lunge and loving it. I'm like a broken record, but I know that for her to come to terms with how things are done properly, and how to do them well, it's going to have to focus on the fun side for a while.

    If my little girl wants to ride, well and good. If she just wants to lead Simba around, so be it. I figure if I push her, she'll go the opposite direction (what else would she do, she is my child afterall).

    My recommendation is to focus on the fun. I find myself getting frustrated when my little girl lets the reins go slack, or isnt paying attention but I have to remind myself if it isn't fun, she won't want to do it.
         
        01-23-2012, 04:34 PM
      #23
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AQHSam    
    Wow. Those kids exists? I guess that is the concept behind owning living lawn ornament though.

    Not me, I want to canter down a snowy covered mountain... oops. I'm projecting again.
    Oh yes! Though there was this one girl that loved watching me ride and train my horse, Sky, when I was there. That gave her the confidence to try trotting, not sure where she is at now though. She was very interested in the training, not the riding. Then there are kids who only like the riding and not the horse.. which is sad because the horse ends up exhausted and not taken care of (I've had to discipline these kids for neglecting their camp horse.)

    And then there are the ones who just.. love it. They love their horse and riding their horse.

    I'm glad you got the help/advice you needed! Hope to hear updates :)
         
        01-23-2012, 04:39 PM
      #24
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MN Tigerstripes    
    Advice to avoid hurting tiny human's feelings: Remember she's just a kid. Think of her like a foal or a puppy. Short attention span, easily confused, and clumsy. You don't want to overload them either. Same concept.

    Maybe she's a horse person at heart, maybe not, it's really hard to tell this soon into it. If she is, she'll thank you years from now for helping her. If she isn't, she'll thank you years from now for caring enough to let her try. And, bottom line, that is why I agreed to pay for the lease. I had to talk her dad into letting me do it. Because, what IF she is a horse lover? Years from now we could have great fun together. And if she is not, well, that's fine also. There will be other interests.

    As long as you control your temper and keep it fun.
    I won't disagree that I struggle with that. This "kid" could out negotiate an FBI hostage negotiator if she put her mind to it.
         
        01-23-2012, 04:39 PM
      #25
    Trained
    OP, regarding your last post about riding your boy in front of kiddo. That's a really good idea too and I use it often. While I'm doing it, I explain what I'm doing and what I'm looking for from the horse. But I'd see if her dad can come with too and help watch her while your riding. That way he can go back and forth with her depending upon her attention span. You won't get frustrated (it sucks to get interrupted 5 mins into a ride because kiddo is bored) and she won't feel like she isn't welcome. Make it a little family adventure.
         
        01-23-2012, 04:43 PM
      #26
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FlyGap    
    I read your other thread and I think it's awesome what you are doing! I too have to give up my time for my own daughter and I do it willingly like you are. PERFECT way to bond.
    As for her behavior, it's natural. My kid LOVES her horse but after she fiddles with him a bit she'll be over in the grass trying to catch grasshoppers. So no worries! Would you or I have done that as a kid, NO WAY! But some are just different. I was super professional around horses, some kids kind of wander...

    MN Tigerstripes is 100% right on. It has to be FUN FUN FUN. Lots of giggling, playing, etc. I only focus on what is going to keep my kid on the horse for now. Sometimes I can get carried away with the techinicalities (sp) and mine will loose focus. I'd suggest taking her outside on the lead for walks instead of working in an arena. Let her tell you where she is going and just walk beside. MHF gave me some great tips, one was playing simon says. My daughter LOVES it. If she doesn't know how to do what I say she asks. Really opens up the communication. I would also make mucking out fun and do it with her, see who can scoop the fastest, make a corner the cleanest, then flip some on her and let her do the same, get into a poop fight! Be silly, trust me I have to force myself some of the time but it's worth it!

    You are doing great! Awesome future step mom!
    If you get stuck you may want to release the lease and/or get her enrolled in horse lessons with other kids around. A group setting may help!

    THANK YOU!! Your shared experiences really help! I was the kid that was willing to sit in a snow bank in wet jeans and undies for hours waiting for the horse across the pasture to walk up to the fence so I could reach one finger through and touch it.

    Hearing that other kids have the same attention span as C does right now really helps me and reinforces that this is a good thing.
         
        01-23-2012, 05:01 PM
      #27
    Trained
    Yep, that was me too!
    My daughter has always had them, when her (my) old horse died she wanted a pony sooooo bad. I got her one after a year of begging thinking it would strengthen her dedication. It did but she hasn't gotten to ride in TWO weeks because every weekend her room is messy and she plays more than cleans. So no rides. I would have cleaned the whole house to just get close to one!!

    You are doing a GREAT thing. I'm a perfectionist, super goal oriented, kind of an anal drip sometimes! LOL! Kids really force you to let loose or go INSANE! Just keep it light, the braiding idea is AWESOME. I let E sit on the horses backs and braid/scrub when I give them baths, she loves it! Red light, green light is a good game if you want to work with her on the ground. If you can get her dad to come out later you can play follow the leader and you'll get to ride. I'm in a rush to get my daughter trail ready but she isn't progressing as fast as I'd like but I'm patient. They'll get there!
         
        01-23-2012, 05:06 PM
      #28
    Banned
    I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that your stepdaughter has zero interest in horses.
         
        01-23-2012, 05:06 PM
      #29
    Yearling
    When my girls very young 8 and 9 I tried to teach them to ride they acted just like your C is. I ended up sending them to a trainer for lessons, the lady did the exact some things I did, but they listened to her because it wasn't me telling them what to do. They would tell me what they learned in the lesson and it was what I told them showed them like 2 weeks ago, I'd tell them they did a great job, they loved the lessons but hated it when I tried to teach them. What helped my girls sit right on the horse and pay attention was putting them on the horse in the round pen bareback with the horse on a lunge line, they had to ride with their hands down by their sides, above their heads, out to the sides. It teaches balance and how to hold on with your thighs. They started in a walk by the time they finished lessons they could handle a bareback lope. The trainer had fun patterns set up also for them to learn once they were well seated in the saddle, she only taught them to direct rein and use leg pressure not neck rein.

    Some times kids just get that defiance thing when a parent figure tries to teach things.
         
        01-23-2012, 05:07 PM
      #30
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FlyGap    
    I would have cleaned the whole house to just get close to one!!

    You are doing a GREAT thing. I'm a perfectionist, super goal oriented, kind of an anal drip sometimes! LOL! Kids really force you to let loose or go INSANE! Just keep it light, the braiding idea is AWESOME. I let E sit on the horses backs and braid/scrub when I give them baths, she loves it! Red light, green light is a good game if you want to work with her on the ground. If you can get her dad to come out later you can play follow the leader and you'll get to ride. I'm in a rush to get my daughter trail ready but she isn't progressing as fast as I'd like but I'm patient. They'll get there!
    Haha, I think all horse crazy people would go to the ends of the earth to be around/ride horses Some people are late bloomers though.

    I agree that you are doing a great thing, but kids need things to be fun. Even things like scooping poop need to be fun. I got the camp kids to race to the piles because they were having fun. We'd hose down the horses and I'd let them spray me too with water during the summer. It was all fun fun fun. Even the ones not keen on riding were willing to help with horse chores (though I never called them that.)

    That's the thing, you can't make it about you. (And this is not directed at anyone) I would have loved to have my student cantering and showing but he wasn't ready. We finally got there! But it took a looong time and only when he felt safe and comfortable.

    It's great to have patience and support the kiddo no matter where they're at and just not be afraid to be silly yourself :)
    Wallaby likes this.
         

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