How to Build Confidence? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 20 Old 01-13-2012, 01:37 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Southeastern Minnesota
Posts: 2
• Horses: 1
Thank you everyone for replying, I am signed up for lessons, and, although this may be difficult, you all gave me the courage to start the wheels turning.
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post #12 of 20 Old 01-13-2012, 02:14 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Southern California
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I know this sounds weird but sometime faking confidence is a way to get there. When you are confident and secure, your horse will be more confident and secure. And of course having them relaxed will make you feel better :)

My sister is an example of your classic scared-of-their-horse horse owner, and it hasn't done her any favors. I started working with her mare recently because I'm sick of seeing her go for weeks without exercise. My sister got me worked up and scared a little bit with all her warnings "She's dangerous!" "Don't get on her if no one is watching!!" "She freaks when you dismount!!"
And since I tremble when I get the least bit nervous (lol i hate it) I got on her and was shaking like a leaf. I just stood there for a second, took a deep breath and decided I would expect the best and just prepare myself if anything happened, instead of bracing myself before she did anything wrong. (She ended up being fine, my sister's fears just got the best of her)

Now I'm riding her everyday and I get on her like she's grandmas horse, absolutely nothing to be afraid of. She's tried to buck me but I know I can stay on her and I work through it and focus on correction.

I'm definitely not the type of person who has unshakable confidence (I'm more likely to spook at a car passing than my horse is) but it is so much more rewarding to ride when you are no longer afraid of your horse. They are powerful and that can be scary but when you learn the skills you need to stay in the saddle and keep you and your horse safe you will learn how to handle situations instead of just sitting on them and dreading for anything to go wrong.
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post #13 of 20 Old 01-13-2012, 05:19 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Philippines
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Don't worry about what other people say. If people say that your buying her was mistake well, do not think that.

I got my first horse at 12, no one in my family knew anything about horses except my uncle but he didn't speak English and I didn't understand the language. What were my parents thinking buying a young 2 year old filly untrained never had a person on it and then gives it to me who has never ridden a horse? Well we were all ignorant and I wanted a horse. :p I got one. I never fell off of that horse and I learned a lot from her. Maybe I was lucky but have to say the horses are the best teachers.

Sure you don't have all the experience and training but you got to start somewhere and be safe. I can understand having your confidence knocked down, the second horse I trained was a colt and I fell. What I did was like what others are saying start where you are comfortable. Ride a horse you feel good on and if you have lessons judging by your last post, make use of them. Maybe spend time with your horse, you don't have to ride her just yet if you are not comfortable but just get to know each other and build your relationship.

Wish you luck.
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post #14 of 20 Old 01-13-2012, 01:22 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 385
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I've been avoiding my horses a bit as well. They take off wildly toward the barn. I know it's me and not them. I'm just doing ground work until I'm confident we understand each other better. That and lessons. :P
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post #15 of 20 Old 01-14-2012, 02:16 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Arizona
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Stay in your comfort zone, whatever that may be, and tell yourself riding is fun (it must be or you wouldn't have the desire to do it) and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks.

The only way to gain confidence is by actually riding. Start with short, "safe" rides and move along at your own pace.

And remember, riding is fun.
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post #16 of 20 Old 01-30-2012, 03:14 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Mount Forest ON, Canada
Posts: 22
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me too

A few years ago my love of riding was fractured by a bucking horse. He took these mood swings and would buck his rider… I was his third person he bucked..broke my back, ribs and shoulder. From what I understand he still takes the notion to buck, but not as often…. Meanwhile my confidence was shattered… but I missed being around horses… For Christmas this year I received a “bombproof” gaited saddle horse mare. She is lovely. But realistically no horse is bombproof.. and like you I get on the horse and any trip or spook sends my heart racing and confidence draining. I tried riding more frequently but my horse seems to pick up my panic and frazzled nerves and she too becomes unsettled. …add to my insecurities is a I ride trail alone… and I find this unsafe..a tense rider results in a tense horse. I know I must begin with relaxing my mind and body, so I plan to start over building my confidence with lessons in a safe environment with others around… .just have to find an understanding trainer now..
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post #17 of 20 Old 01-30-2012, 04:44 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 16,846
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They're out there, though sometimes hard to come by. I know my trainer is very understanding. Though sometimes she pushes me to where I can really feel a bit "exposed" or "out there" but still not in danger. Which, I believe, sometimes you need to face your fears so that you can overcome that HUGE obstacle and find peace on the other side.

Just give yourself time :)

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #18 of 20 Old 01-30-2012, 06:03 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Mount Forest ON, Canada
Posts: 22
• Horses: 1
Thank you I have two people locally to try, but I am also keen to head to Minnessota 17 hours north of me.. This trainer takes horse and rider on a three week traing period.. any one heard of Larry Surrett's Horse training Academy?
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post #19 of 20 Old 01-31-2012, 01:34 AM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,921
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First off I think buying a young horse is fine! I bought my mare when she was five and I was only 11 and she was ( and still is) a great riding horse for me :)

As far as confidence goes start off SLOW. Do only what your comfortable with and you will build your confidence. To start with make sure you ride with someone watching, that way you will feel better.

Good Luck :)

Pocket - 8 yr old, 15.1hh Thoroughbred Mare
~You know you're a horse person when you say 'whoa' to your dog~
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post #20 of 20 Old 02-01-2012, 11:23 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: BC
Posts: 454
• Horses: 2
Can your mentor help you with some groundwork? Its a great way to establish leadership skills and improve your relationship/confidence building. There's lots of fun things to do, from simple round pen stuff to free lunging and playing at liberty as a team. The TB mare I ride tends to be spooky---but due to all the ground work we've been doing, our working relationship is far better, less spooky, listens, etc. All horses need groundwork!
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