Ok my long story here is goes .Hope somebody can give me some advise here !
Started riding 4 years ago.Had a gap of about 10 mths when I lost interest but it came back after watching a local show
Been always a weak rider and timid.Was learning how to canter on a balanced morgan horse but then was wearing some slippery pants and actually almost slipped off.also had some minor incidents in which almost fell off but never actually did Never been able to canter since
Have taken lessons at numerous facilities, still am extremely timid, freeze up on new horses, also have a morbid fear of heights.I tend to do slightly better on the Packer type beginner horses but still can't canter or even trot a taller horse as I freeze up. I've owned 2 horses who both got chronic illnesses and had to be given away or retired so now I do have one but can't do anything with it because of chronic navicular disease.
Trail riding is also hard as most horses tend to follow the leader horse and tend to run if the first one runs and I get very insecure and scared.
I am SOOO desperate to learn to ride and show ! just on flats is fine.Don't have any urge to learn to jump etc.I also love saddleseat riding but just feel it is too much beyond my ability as the horses can be fast !
Can somebody give me some advise what to do? Find a place that does bareback? and do that any advise to help with fear and improve my seat would be greatly appreciated.I am a older age rider 35 yrs who started late.Thank you
You need to search for riding academies. Make SURE that you can watch a lesson or two to see if it's a good fit. I suggest that you swallow any pride you have and see if you can join a child's class. You initial fear will get worse if you are pushed too fast, and, unfortunately (from posts I've read here) that can happen. Look, also, for a certified instructor--not everyone is.+
This should NOT be a "take your heart in your throat" exercise, like bungee jumping.
First and foremost if you have read here you will realize that there are lots and lots of people who battle with their fears, so you are not odd or unusual, you are not alone.
The steps to success are finding the right trainer, who will understand how you feel, and Be will keep on pushing you that little bit further, not scaring you by going to fast, or ignoring you and never letting you develop.
As I have discovered, the right horse makes all the difference, what feels impossible on one horse, is totally doable on another. So get out there, talk to people, go watch lessons, the right person is out there. Good luck
First of all, I come from a timid family, and there are a lot of MH issues. In particular, I have some issues with anxiety. AND I'm afraid of heights too...
You know what? Do you know how much we MISS OUT ON by not grabbing life by its...pants and going for it? If you really want to do something and you are being held back by your own fear and timidity...either tell yourself that you WILL NOT let that beat you!!! While you sit on the sidelines...and just go DO IT!
You know what? If a facility rushes you TOO MUCH...and they don't listen to your cries of slow down....LEAVE! You are paying THEM for the privilege of knowledge and experience. You must find a teacher that will push you a little, but not past your abilities to cope.
Honestly, if you need it...also think about talking to a doctor. I usually have a prescription for anti anxiety meds. I try not to take them, but I take them if I NEED THEM. If your fear is unreasonable and preventing you from doing what you WANT in life, then take action.
I'd suggest looking into "centered riding" lessons but you'll have to be diligent and find a certified centered riding instructor, which isn't easy to find everywhere.
It's a different approach - there's much visualization and less emphasis on gaits and speed and more on posture, balance, relaxation, breathing. You feel differently aboard. You communicate differently and i think most importantly, if you are riding a trained centered riding horse, you'll have a horse that's very responsive to how you are breathing, sitting, etc. So if you are not balanced in whatever gait some centered riding horses are trained to stop or slow down. But all instructors are looking for you to relax, to feel the connection between you and the horse.
The fear can happen when we are not connected to our horse, when we're bobbing along, up top, all alone. I think the fear goes when we are one. It's sometimes hard to find that connection.
If you can find a gaited horse facility that takes beginner riders you may find your fit. Other than that I agree with demonwolfmoon you have to decide to do it and set your mind to it and if you need a pill or a shot or whatever will settle your nerves then go for it. Of coarse you need to relax but you already know that. Finding a good trainer of riders is harder than finding horse trainers. It is difficult for long time horse owners and trainers to relate to what you feel. Posted via Mobile Device
The other thing to realize is that even falling off is not the end of the world. I am not saying go out and fall off, but if you did fall off, 90% of the time, other than a short shock, it's usually not as bad as you think it will be. I don't mean to say ignore it and pretend it isn't a scary thing. But maybe to remind yourself that it's totally survivable.
I can honestly say this is true. I've been riding my whole life but took quite a few years off. I've fallen in the past but I was a lot younger and like most teenagers and kids, I never considered the risks. I got back into horses a year ago and have owned my new mare since November 2012. I was terrified of the risks, especially falling. So scared I would only ride her in the small round pen (maybe 30 ft) and I actually would hardly ever ride her anyways. I considered selling and just saying to heck with horses all together. Everyone always asked why I was still doing ground work when she was obviously ready for the saddle and I couldnt admit I was scared (to much pride lol) Luckily my trainer and friends pushed me to ride her and I got more confident. I started trotting and even took her out on the trail solo. Then one random day after being moved to pasture she spooked and I fell off. It was my fault for a number of reasons. I thought for sure that fall would ruin everything. I jumped up and started yelling at my husband to help me back on (was bareback). I rode maybe 10 more minutes at the most and turned her back out. I didnt get back on to correct her, I got back on for my own sake lol
Anyways my point is: that fall didnt ruin my confidence at all. It really helped my riding and my confidence level. If anything it boosted my confidence. Now I know I can fall and still be OK. It sounds crazy but my riding has improved ever since my fall. I dont have as much fear holding me back. Yes, I still worry, sometimes we cant help that. I have an anxiety disorder too but falling isnt such a big deal anymore. I fell, I survived. Im not saying go out and fall by any means but like tinyliny said its totally survivable so dont let the worry over take you.
My best advice is that you just have to suck it up and do it. The more you do it, the easier it will become. Good Luck! Posted via Mobile Device
I fight the fear thing all the time. I have to consciously tell myself to breathe and take the death grip off the reins, and if I feel the need to, hold the horn or fork of the saddle instead. I'm getting much better. I am a real wimp because my horses are already well-behaved and my pinto is only 14.1hh and quite wide and has slow, comfy gaits.
Just find a good ridding instructor like the others have said and the right horse to get your confidence up. You can do it!!
take private lessons and tell your instructor your fear. Try riding smaller horses and work your way up. Maybe ask if you can stay with a older horse that is very laid back and easy to handle. And ask if you can ride that horse in every lessons that wise you learn to trust him/her. and NEVER Get scared or nervous on a horse because that will make them nervous. If it helps you feel more safe grab a chunk of the horses mane and have your instructor have a lunge line attached and ask her to help you with the horse. And if you are slipping out of the saddle a lot then buy breeches with grips on the knees. They help you stick to the saddle I have tons of'em and I never budge out of the saddle.
and English probably won't be your best option if you feel insecure, try western so If you get nervous you grab the saddle horn. and there is a less chance of falling out. and western riding you don't jump or anything you mostly do flat work. try western and see !! don't let your fears stop you!
Totally agree with justaroundthebarrel - try riding in a western saddle. Take lessons in western riding first. The saddles are much bigger, and you will feel more secure in it. It is very difficult to just "slip out" of a western saddle, and you do have a horn to grab a hold of if you do feel like you're going to come off.
That simply doesn't work for everyone. I feel more unbalanced and unsafe in a western because I can't feel the horse. My ex-boss had me lease her horse in a western saddle and then an aussie... and it just.. I didn't ride well.
If you are comfortable in the saddle but your balance is off... then you should be on the lungeline.
Now if you feel you'd be "safer" in a western, then try it out!
Talk to your instructor, communication is key.
Some riders need to be pushed through insecurity, after I had a bad fall last year I'd spend some lessons in tears because I was scared of what my coach was making me do. BUT she knew I had the ability to do it (because I DID it before the fall) and I had flat out told her that I needed to be pushed through it. That same coach has worked with other riders with fear issues who still spend their lessons just walking, she doesn't push with them because they've told her they aren't ready to be pushed to move 'up'. She'll still ask them if they would like to try trotting, etc. but nothing is ever forced.
If your instructor doesn't know, they can't help you.
You could also ask to be put on a lunge line, work on your balance at the walk and trot without having to worry about controlling the horse, and then moving off of the lunge, and coming back to it to learn to canter.
All of that said, I definitely think you need to invest in private lessons, as group lessons really aren't the best place for somebody who wants to move at their own pace.
turn your "desperation" and anxiety into something constructive, a drive to ride. pick a goal, get motivated, and succeed. todays goal might be to trot on a tall horse. tomorrow to canter on that beginner safe pony.
you have a choice, take the "oops" moments and learn from them and concuer your fear, growing as a person, or shrivel up and allow fear to take over your life. don't give your self the option to fail. don't allow fear to take over. Say " I'm going to trot this horse around the arena today!". then do it.
I have high anxiety, and a fear of heights. I've made it my personal goal to conquer every fear I can. I hate heights? I'm afraid of skiing? nervous around a certain horse? afraid of a specific manouver? I have to face it. I've learned to take pride in mastering my fears. I can be really scared, and still succeed.
I went from incredibly, cripplingly nervous on every horse due to a series of accidents, some days it was all I could do to get on and back off again, to where I am now, galloping ottbs down trails, helping other people learn to ride, starting colts, handling stallions and cantering and jumping bareback.
I can feel my horse very well in my western saddle. I can anticipate what she is going to do. It is not a terribly bulky saddle, and that might make a difference.
true true. What I was trying to say was I found the English saddle gives me more direct contact with a horse. My horse's Western saddle is humungous. and heavy. and thick. The construction I believe is about wrapping the leather down and around the horse distributing the weight he's carrying better - for longer working/riding, ropes, etc. I could be wrong about that but that's what I think.
Another option you may want to explore is a therapeutic riding center. Since it sounds like your anxiety issues are severely limiting your ability to work through it, this setting can give you some new tools to lessen the anxiety. The horses are used to all kinds of riders (from those like you to autistic kids and paraplegics). The instructors are also trained in a variety of behavioral modification techniques. Sometimes just sitting on a horse while someone leads and a "walk along" handler on either side of you can help YOU breathe, relax and feel the rhythm of the horse. That's where the magic is!!
OP I thought of you when I saw this photo this morning:
Now you need to find ways to climb further up the ladder!
Not too long ago I was stuck at "I can't do it" with cantering. It scared me, it was too fast.. I was so scared. So it quickly turnd into "I won't do it" because my horse and I weren't ready!
Fast forward a few years and my new coach wanted me to canter since we had been walk and trot for so long. With such an encouraging coach, I jumped to "I want to do it" . Then it became "How do I do it?" and she showed me. Then "I'll try to do it" was my response as I sat there with my eyes shut on the lungeline. As I gave the cue for canter, I chanted "I can do it.. I will do it!" over and over to empower myself with positive thoughts.
By the end I grinned and said with confidence: I did it!
And girl if I managed to canter, to get on that horse and ride... you can too!
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