Ok my long story here is goes .Hope somebody can give me some advise here !
Started riding 4 years ago.Had a gap of about 10 mths when I lost interest but it came back after watching a local show
Been always a weak rider and timid.Was learning how to canter on a balanced morgan horse but then was wearing some slippery pants and actually almost slipped off.also had some minor incidents in which almost fell off but never actually did Never been able to canter since
Have taken lessons at numerous facilities, still am extremely timid, freeze up on new horses, also have a morbid fear of heights.I tend to do slightly better on the Packer type beginner horses but still can't canter or even trot a taller horse as I freeze up. I've owned 2 horses who both got chronic illnesses and had to be given away or retired so now I do have one but can't do anything with it because of chronic navicular disease.
Trail riding is also hard as most horses tend to follow the leader horse and tend to run if the first one runs and I get very insecure and scared.
I am SOOO desperate to learn to ride and show ! Just on flats is fine.Don't have any urge to learn to jump etc.I also love saddleseat riding but just feel it is too much beyond my ability as the horses can be fast !
Can somebody give me some advise what to do? Find a place that does bareback? And do that any advise to help with fear and improve my seat would be greatly appreciated.I am a older age rider 35 yrs who started late.Thank you