I can't get him to understand to SIDE PASS

Last lesson my trainer was preparing me and another student for our riding exam. Everything was going well, except for the side pass. I've done it at the trot with X before. Last lesson though, he either didn't understand what I was asking, or he figured but didn't feel like doing it unless I made it absolutely clear I meant business. Well I tried, but it didn't work.

I was told to direct his head to the outside, and push with my calf so he moved to the inside. However, he just kept going strait. My trainer thought I wasn't being tough enough so she kept insisting that I push harder (I swear I was turning blue from the effort) and then she told me to be firmer and kick and shove him to the side if I had too so I won and he didn't... but that just made him break into a trot, or when I was at a trot already, he thought I wanted a canter so sped up. I was getting so frustrated from the cold I had, from my trainer who didn't realize I was trying to push him to the side with all the force I had.

ANy ideas of what I was doing wrong or what I could do to make him side pass? When he's going slow or being a little pig headed, a tap with the crop puts everything in order, but I didn't want to hit him in case he actually DIDN'T get what I was asking him.

Maybe it was the bit (that was bothering him) and enticing him to not listen. He will have a different bit next lesson.

From this description I can't figure out if you want a half pass or leg yield so if I am confused it is no wonder your horse is.

Sorry if I'm not clear. I'm also not familiar with the terms (you'll inform me of the right name after I explain). Basically I was trying to get him to cross his legs so he goes to the side while going forward.

Do you want him to move towards the bend or away from it? Towards it is half pass, away from it is leg yield. I don't use my calf I use my thigh so I would say twist your thigh more and tap your horses shoulder. I am assuming you are asking for a leg yield.

Thanks for the clarification Kaylee. I was trying to do a leg yield.

Yeah so I would ask your horse for more bend, sit to the inside more and use your thigh. If he doesn't go right over a tap on the shoulder always helps me.

Hmm, here goes. Have your horse standing fairly square. Let's say you wish to side pass to the left. Your right rein will control forward movement. Move your left rein a little to the side with a light contact. At the same time move your left leg off his side. Squeeze with your right calf muscle, lightly. And look to your left. When you apply leg he will want to move forward. Your right rein should be blocking that. He'll be a bit confused and may then move a little sideways. Relax your body and praise him. Walk him around a little and try again. Think of it this way, on his right side you are closing the door and on your left you are opening it. Don't attempt to work both sides at this time. Get it down pat before you work his other side. Changing sides may put you right back at the beginning again as you are teaching the other half of his brain. It helps the horse if you get him to straddle a pole when you request the side pass.

Thanks guys, hopefully I'll be clearer in my commands and accomplish something with these instructions. ;)

If you are doing leg yield, you WANT forward movement. I think Sidepass is predominantly sideways movement. Leg yield should be about 50/50 sideways and forward movement.
I was taught to start by going forward, then (leg yeilding to the left), put a tiny amount of flexion in the jaw toward the right (away from the diretrion of the sideways movement), and start asking the horse to step across and under with his outside hind (right) , and doing the asking in a pulsing manneer, such that the asking coincides with his lifting that leg off the ground and placing it.
If you feel the barrel of the horse swing to the left each time his right hind steps forward, you will be asking for that sideways step right as the barrel starts to swing leftward. At the same time I give a little tickly or tiny squeeze of the rein on the same side (right). With the horse's next step, you change your focus and think "support" him on his outside (outside of his bend) left rein and kind of hold it firmly to gently stifle sideways movement and encourage forward movement instead.

So, in effect, you are asking for one step sideways, one steop forward, one step sideways, one step forward. A really good ride will meld that together, but a more low level rider such as myself needs to keep the two stages seperate in my mind to remember to do each one and not get stuck simply focussing on sideways only. If you lose your forward imputus, things fall apart. So, if that does happen, abandon the leg yield, ride forward and reestablish "forward!"