I dont know what to do : (

hey everyone

ok, um, well this is taking alot for me to do couse, i dont know if anyone who goes to my stables is on this forum, but....i dont really have a choice couse im not happy.

my spirit has been broken. and it is hard to brake.
when i first started there it was great, i didnt even care that noone talked to me couse i would just sit with the horses, my instructor would take my lessons and tell me that ive done well and yeah you can get the picture.
every now and then people talk to me, but its pretty rare.

but, its gotten too much.

now, i work there every day, besides wednesdays which i greatfull for becouse of the brake, i do it for free, i run around taking little kids lessons none of then say thank you, i clean the stables, i rake the stables, i rug and saddle and everything the horses, i do water buckets, i pick up manure in the field without and argue (there are only a few who do so without complaining) i respect the horses and they like me, but, noone lets me near the one i admire the most, and if i am near him, they come in and overtake. i put up with people constantly telling me what to do, telling me i am doing everything wrong, and i am someone with a small temper, but i dont even argue. noone thanks me for what i do ( i know its better to give than reseve, but, a thankyou here and there would be great) i pay for lessons, and some of the people who work there are there like once or twice a week and they dont pay, resantly (i thought that becouse they were paying that mabe i dont have to so i told my mother to bring the money just incase if the ask for it) then my instructor goes you ow me $60 so im like ok ill bring it next lesson then the next lesson she goes you ow me $100, mum was furias, she had to use her christmas money to pay her : (
then yesterday i just felt, brocken, like there was now spirit left for the job, like i wasnt conected to the horse i admire becouse i am hardly alone with him, i couldnt bebothered with anone so i just went into the stable and did everything i could to acupy myself like cleaning and rakeing and waterbucketing, then i got introuble for puting the hose away in the wrong way!
my instructor called me and said i could have a free ride on a different horse who i have trouble riding.
i can trot and everything on her, but i cant canter her.
it became to much, there is only one person who is nice to me and thats the other instructor, and i cryed sitting on that horse. i felt like i couldnt ride.

what do i do? :(
i wont to stay for the horses sake, but, it feels like nooone likes me :'(

sorry for the long message, its ok if you dont read it.

anyone?

please help me.

I'm a little confused but I'll try.

Are you getting anything for working at the stable 6 days a week?

If your not happy, I think maybe you should see if you can get lessons at another stable. Maybe speak to the barn owner about the lessons and work something out. Your situation doesnt sound right and its obviously making you unhappy.

i dont get anything

They're using you as cheap [free] labour, find another place, or stop working for them! Go for your lesson and if anyone asks you to do anything say "no".

I too will have a go...Have you any other stables of farms anywhere near to you?
I am not aware of the circumstances you have where you are but, here if we are not happy, we move on to another place. Is this an option for you?

i agree with working out with the BO and instructor about something, like a discount on the lessons and being able to ride your favourite horse?
i know its hard but you should try to be friends with some of the people your age who work there and let them see the real you abit, they might think your intimidating, dont worry im exactly like you and its hard.
But what they are doing to you IS not fair and you shouldnt have to put up with it.

Why exactly have you been working for free for all this time? How exactly did you get into a situation where you were working for free?

i would say either talk to the YO or change to another stable, tell the YO that as you are there 6 days a week working for her why dont you get free lessons when the other people who are there one or two days get free lessons, they are using you as free labour as you like horses