I have a problem..... - Page 2
 
 

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I have a problem.....

This is a discussion on I have a problem..... within the Horse Riding forums, part of the Riding Horses category

     
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        11-13-2009, 03:59 PM
      #11
    Foal
    She can't afford to get help, that's the issue. She had someone offer to ride him for free, but she said she does not want anyone riding him (which makes no sense to me!)
         
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        11-13-2009, 04:00 PM
      #12
    Foal
    Yeah but isn't it a from of neglect to just leave him in the pasture and not do anything with him? The only human contact he has is to be fed, and once a week a groom when I can get out.
         
        11-13-2009, 04:03 PM
      #13
    Foal
    The BO has offered to give us this horse a few times when she was late. I can''t take him, it would betray her and ruin our friendship for sure. Plus, with 2 kids, I have no time for more horses. When she is late the BM always lets us know, I guess because we are friends, and I usually end up paying it more out of guilt than anything. She is totally over her head here, and I guess I am enabling her.
         
        11-13-2009, 04:35 PM
      #14
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BrokenWings    
    yeah but isn't it a from of neglect to just leave him in the pasture and not do anything with him? The only human contact he has is to be fed, and once a week a groom when I can get out.

    Um...NO.

    It is not real neglect as in anything legal.

    There are lots of perfectly fine horses who have no job and do not get fussed over on a regular basis.



    I agree, stop paying her board.
         
        11-13-2009, 05:08 PM
      #15
    Showing
    Meh, I have a pasture pouf who is just as happy NOT to have a job. Of course, he's 22 y/o and has earned his retirement. He also isn't thrilled with being groomed, and I have to catch and tie him to do it. I generally leave him be, unless he absolutely HAS to be groomed.

    Horses who don't have jobs aren't being abused or neglected, but it's a shame that a young horse with such promise is just sitting doing nothing.

    Broken, STOP paying this person's board for her. You're doing nothing but enabling her. If she gets mad at you for refusing to cover her board bill, then she's NOT YOUR FRIEND. Repeat this to yourself as many times as you need to.

    I say let the BO take the horse for back board, and sell him at a public sale. He might just get the perfect home and owner. Your 'friend' sure isn't it!
         
        11-13-2009, 05:46 PM
      #16
    Foal
    I can't pay her board anymore...going on maternity leave and things are too tight for me now.
    It's just sad that he is getting sour because he does not have a job. When he was under saddle he was so much happier.
         
        11-13-2009, 05:49 PM
      #17
    Foal
    I think she's more mad for me sticking my nose in. He's not my horse, so really, it's not my business, but when she can't afford board and I get stuck with the bill, it's my problem. I wish she would even consider part boarding him, he has such potential (not only gorgeous, but sweet and very athletic.) I had him out last week and someone inquired about him (asked if he was for sale) and I passed on the message. That's when she got upset with me. He's not my horse, but if he was, he'd be in training/sold to a family who can love him and take care of him. Paying a horses' board does not make you a good owner. Putting the time, energy and love into them does.
         
        11-16-2009, 06:38 PM
      #18
    Yearling
    Would she ever let YOU ride him? I know right now you won't be able to with the pregnancy and all, but maybe afterwards in your spare time maybe twice a week if you could just exercise him. Even just a light trail ride or something.

    I don't think push things too much with her, you don't want to lose her friendship. If she refuses any help whatsoever, leave it. It's not your problem. I also think it's wrong of her asking you to pay boarding fees...it just shows that YOU are a true friend, and SHE isn't.

    Would your friend EVER do something with the horse. Is she EVER planning to do so?
         
        11-18-2009, 04:34 PM
      #19
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BrokenWings    
    the BO has offered to give us this horse a few times when she was late. I can''t take him, it would betray her and ruin our friendship for sure. Plus, with 2 kids, I have no time for more horses. When she is late the BM always lets us know, I guess because we are friends, and I usually end up paying it more out of guilt than anything. She is totally over her head here, and I guess I am enabling her.
    You said it right here you ARE enabling her to keep a horse she can't afford. I know it's hard, but stop putting yourself through a guilt trip when the BO comes to you for board. The BO should know that in a few months, HE has the right to sell the horse because technically he's been abandoned. I believe it's 30 days, but most give owners more of a chance to pay up than that; let the BO take care of this matter.

    Atleast if the owner gets some warnings, and 'dates' regarding his upkeep; 1) she may all of a sudden have the funds 2) she'll realize that she can't afford him and do what's right...send him to someone who can. Just don't let her manipulate you into continuing to pay his upkeep; you have 3 of your own to worry about, and she's not willing to let you help the horse out besides paying to feed him, so the best option for him is to find a family who WILL take care of him, and use him.
         
        11-18-2009, 07:42 PM
      #20
    Trained
    Don't pay her board. As soon as there are enough unpaid bills the BO can pull livery, and the horse will be put up for private auction. At this point you could anonymously contact the interested buyer and they could buy him.
    BO gets paid, horse gets a good home and hopefully your friend realizes she can't manage a horse.
         

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