I kinda gave up
Ok so get this, I kinda gave up on myself.
A few years ago when I was like 10 or so I hada skiing acceident and I almost died. the docs told me if I hit my stomach hard enough that I would bleed inside again, wich wouold kill me since I have grown larger.
So I havea issue riding, even now several years later.
I cant seem to force myself to get at her so that she will do what I want. I think i am kind of scared she will dump me and then falling down then bleeding again.
I let ehr get her own way, so long as she wont hurt me, which has worked well, till now, once I am starting to ride again.
What I have learned is not to think of something like her biting you or kicking you or her getting out when the gate is open. I learned if ya htink it chances are its going to happen. She knows when I am scared. Or mad, Or whatever, Usually when I get scared from her, she realizes it and stops, ir like when she hurts me.
But I can't seem to stop thinking of getting dumped. I know I am a good rider, I know how to stay on, I just get really really nervous and can't stop thinking about getting dumped. This is why I dont make her do much. I dont want to make her mad then dump me, even though I very very highely doubt she will, I just keep thinking it.
Anyone out there have any idea's. I really really want to ride in the rodeo or horse show this year. I know she can do alot of things. I just dont know how to get her to do it. I am very very nervous. AND VERY SHY, I hate working around people. I hate talking to my horse around people. they always look at you...
AND YES I AM A GUY. I LIKE PINK....