I need advice, please help.
I am Devin Cigainero, I live in East Texas in Texarkana, TX. I have not grown up with horses or been around any. I've only owned a paint gelding for 2 years now. When I bought him I really had the intention to find someone to give me king lessons to and I could then apply it to my horse as practice. Unfortunately that did nit go to plan. My family nor friends ride, I really don't know any of the horse people around and have actually talked to them about riding,etc. the truth is there is really no one in the Texarkana area that teaches riding lessons. I have tried and tried on the Internet searching but some of the searches are incorrect or the people are too far. I go to college part time and still work 40+ hours a week and I still live with my father until I graduate from college to save on expenses. I have tried several people that have had the time to help me but either did not have the time or family issues came up. I have been looking for 1 year now for someone and I am beginning to loose hope. My father does not give squat about horses or about my horse and tells me I am over complicating the whole thing. I have dreams about showing in western pleasure and many other shows with my horse and to find people to ride with me on the trails behind my house. I live near a lake and there are thousands of acres of government land owned by Core of Engineers that you can ride on. There is a group I used to ride with but did not tin out real well be use they were mean and bitter people and I'd not want to be around them. I have attended horse shows and most come out of town and really get a little timid to ask. I have within the last couple of days been worrying about what to do, my confidence is gone, my experience in riding is very low, I have no friends to ride with. My heart keeps telling me to keep trying but my mind is telling me "no". I have also been very jealous of horse people for some reason, I'm not saying they are bad but I am getting bitter toward them everytime I see a trailer I get negative. I am in a way disappointed in my community because there are some horse people that I kno or a fact have helped ordinary people but cannot help me. I know a lot of people have lives and hard to do certain things because of family and job. There just seems to be a lot of snobby horse people in my area for some reason. I do not know what to do, do you think I just need to find a friendly horse person that could just ride with me or do I need to find a trainer? I really need an honest answer if anyone can help.