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I need a bigger horse

4K views 29 replies 25 participants last post by  Warden 
#1 ·
I'm 14 , not a skinny kid but not overweight , and I'm riding a 13hh fine typed pony. All my mates are selling their ponies / moving up to big horses. My one mates bought a 17hh who is coming Saturday coming off a 14.2. My other frind has recently had a 16.2 coming off a 14.2. Both have said they were WAY to big for the ponies. My other friend is moving from her 13.2 to 15.3. My other friend came off her pony and now rides a 16hh and lastly another who is now riding a 15.2. My mom knows Ollys way to small ( my feet don't touch him and I can wrap my legs around his belly and touch my toes with my other foot. My dream is to do showjumping again ( pony too small now and refuses even the smallest of jumps ) today I spoke to my mom about getting something around 16hh ( the height of her horse even though im taller than her ) her excuse is you can't go from 13hh to 16hh even though my mates gone from a 13hh to a 16.2. Today she said I can have a pony 14.2 ( the height of the ponies one friend is selling and the other one is moving up from )and that's my limit . I have been riding since I was born really since we had our horses at home untill recently moving. My mom won't let me ride her horse either. I domt want to be on the same size pony that my mates are selling when they have all now moved to horses. Out of 5 friends ( not inc me ) I'm the only one still on a pony. I want a lifelong friend not one I have to sell again because of height. Seeing my friend Sophie on her 16.2 today broke my heart. ( we could never sell my pony because he's family ) so when I have the courage to ask if I can have one around 16hh ish she says no and I'm only allowed 14.2 even though I've been riding a lot longer than most my friends . I can't jump my pony anymore which Is what I want to do in the future.


How do I convince my mom to let me get a taller horse ?



The last few questions I've Asked , no-ones replies even though I've had loads of views. Please can at least one person reply ? It's annoying waiting and checking for replies to realise no-one actually is going to reply. Sorry for that slight moan xxxx

Thanks :)
 
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#6 ·
I agree with getting one big enough that you wont have to sell in a couple years because you outgrow him.
I agree with this.

Maybe point out to your mom that you still have growing to do and if you get another short horse now, it's likely that you will just outgrow it again in a couple of years.

Have you asked her what her reasoning is for wanting you to get the 14.2hh pony?

And I don't see anyone being negative. One person may have been a little blunt, but no one was mean or negative. Maybe try to step back, take a deep breath, and try to think positive, instead of seeing bullying in anything anyone says.
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#4 ·
Look I'm not going to shout or anything but I'm going through a hard time right now being bullied about my ponys height so please no harsh comments. I love my pony more than anything but people just get me down
 
#7 ·
I understand your pain... Believe me...
Try telling your mum that it'll save money and time in the long run to buy a bigger horse. You are most likely going to outgrow a 14.2hh pony, if you are as tall as you say you are. I am very tall and even I couldn't wrap my legs around a 13hh pony and touch my toes together under the belly! You are definitely tall enough for a bigger horse.
If you DO outgrow a 14.2hh pony, you will have to sell it and find another taller horse. This is money, time and effort down the drain. Try putting it to her like that. Also I have gathered that you are mostly leg. Not unlike me. If you have long legs, you take up more of the horse, have more control of the horse, and its generally easier to control a taller horse as you can wrap your legs around it easier than someone with shorter legs. You won't look small then on a 16hh horse. Far from it. Unless you buy a really wide draught, which I'm gathering you won't as you want to do show jumping, and show jumpers tend to be more blood horses with a narrower frame.
If she still doesn't budge, try a compromise. The horse doesn't have to be as tall as 16hh... Maybe look at some 15.1hh, and 15.2hh. She may be happier with that. Some people, I find, think of 15.3hh as being a nice height, then they hear 16hh and go Ahhhhhh! because in their mind it sounds huge! I was the same and maybe thats what you're mother is like.
 
#9 ·
Chin up, girl. Ponies are awesome. I agree you probably need something bigger/stockier if you can touch your toes under him now. But a 14.2 hand horse can still take you around the course, especially one that has a stocky cob body type.
I am 5'10.5" and I ride a 14hh gelding (but don't tell him he's 14 hands, he has an 18 hand ego!). Height really doesn't mean a whole lot.
Now for the bullying, I am sorry your mates are doing that to you, but they are wrong. Show them some videos of Teddy O'Connor. He was a superstar event horse and was quite small. There are many horses under 15 hands who were (are) amazing show jumpers, even at the top levels.
 
#11 ·
All your friends are moving up to bigger horses, and you are feeling left behind. That's not surprising, and your emotions are natural.

Firstly - you need to talk to your friends. The REAL friends will stop teasing you, and realise that this is out of your hands. As for the ones that continue to tease...they are not true friends.

Secondly. You have an amazingly safe pony whom you trust. You can hack out without fear of spooking, and you know what he is going to do at all times. Your friends have lost this by changing horses so they may have to rely on you to be the lead horse for a while. If this is the case, be helpful, and feel smug - on the inside - without gloating :lol:

Thirdly. None of us know why your parents are not supporting your wish to change up to a bigger horse. Here are some reasons that I can only guess at;

- they think you are not ready?
- they cannot afford it?
- they are scared of the dangers that a 16hh horse can bring and would rather you make a transition to a 14hh first before the transition again.
- none of the above.

Only you can understand your parents views on this, by asking them. BUT if you enter the conversation with a "yes but" on the tip of your tongue in your determination to persuade them to your point of view, then you will learn NOTHING and you will just make them frustrated. Ask them, and listen.

Good luck.
 
#12 ·
14.2 isn't a bad height.....
I'm 5'5 and for the longest time all i rode were horses from 14-14.2 never felt to big and they all did what was asked of them.

Wanting a bigger horse simply because all your friends are getting 16 hh horses is just ridiculous. Don't focus on height so much. Focus on whether the horse performs its job willingly first, somethign to match your level of riding, health and then look at size.
 
#14 ·
The reason your pony refuses jumps is probably because you are too big. Transitioning from ponies to horses in general (no matter the size in most cases) takes some time to get used to. Their stride is different, their necks are longer, etc. If your mom is worried about the transition being too harsh, then ask for a 15hh 15.3hh horse. Generally in my experience, that is the best size to move up to from a pony. Maybe ask some of your friends with the bigger horses if you can ride their horses a couple times, just to get the feel of a big horse. You may decide you hate it, or you may love it. If you love it have your mom come watch or video tape yourself and show her.
 
#15 ·
I'm voting with Mum, moving up one more stage is good, going to a huge horse is not needed at the moment. Look I understand not want to get attached to a horse and sell it again, but it happens. The last mare I sold I was delighted that she went to a skinny teenager who I thought would be a perfect match for her for years to come. Mare is for sale not 8 months later, and why? not because the owner has outgrown her height wise, but talent and ambition wise.

Things happen, back in the ancient days, when I was a kid this pair were my heroes,



Marion Coakes and Stroller, 14.2hh pony who won an Olympic silver medal with the British show jumping team.
 
#16 ·
My boys were still competing on 14.2's until they were out of pony classes (UK age rules) so I would take up your mums offer and look for a good 14.2 - maybe a welsh x TB or a Connemara x TB that's got a decent body but not too much and enjoy competing in the junior classes while you still can.
All your 'friends' now have to compete in adult classes which isn't nearly as much fun and can be a disadvantage if they don't have the same level of experience
 
#17 ·
All I can say is that any friends who were bullying me or teasing me about the size of horse I'd ride would no longer be any friends of mine.

That and anyone who thinks I ought to be riding a 17 hand horse rather than my plucky 14.1 Haffie (though he be but little, yet he is fierce! -- he also walks around with a swagger that would put a Shire to shame) is more than welcome to buy the horse (it won't be cheap, I'd make sure of that) and pay board and feed, etc. because I sure wouldn't be the one giving up my pony money for a bigger horse.
 
#18 ·
What does your trainer say? If your trainer also believes you are getting too big for your pony, then ask her to explain that to your parents and discuss with them what an appropriate sized replacement would be. Don't be surprised if your parents come out of that conversation still thinking 14.2hh is a good size, though. Unless you are very tall and/or have very long legs it's unlikely that you need a 16+hh horse.

I'm an adult riding a 15hh horse in dressage, surrounded by tall warmbloods, and I wouldn't trade him for any of them. My good friend rides a 14.2hh Morgan and they are very successful at both dressage and eventing.
 
#19 ·
I too would ask your mom for a reason. To me it makes sense to get you a horse that you're not going to grow out of, but she may have her reasons for not wanting to do that.

Any horse of your own is better than what I had at your age, which was a lease, and that was way better than what a lot of people get. So, be glad you have a horse at all and see if you can have a reasonable talk with your mom. Ask her for her reasons and tell her yours.
 
#20 ·
I'm sure your parents have good reasons, but maybe they are just not good at communicating them to you. I would encourage you to stop thinking about horses just in terms of height. I find it very telling that in your post you refer to your friends' horses solely by their height. They are living beings and have a lot more to offer you than just "14.2" and "17hh".

Also, if your friends are teasing you because you have a pony and they don't anymore I would think it is time to get new friends.

Bottom line, learn to be grateful for what you have. It's more than most even get a chance at.
 
#21 ·
Your parents are worried, and that's a normal thing for parents. Yes, it's frustrating sometimes but there's not much you can do about that. I can guarantee that one day you'll probably be the same to your kids.

I think the thing to remember here is that you need to hear your parents' side of the argument with an open mind, and not in the mindset that you're going to give a rebuttal to everything they say. Just ask them why they feel like you should only go up to 14.2, and just try to see where they're coming from and show them that you understand. That will make talking to them about this a whole lot easier than you could ever imagine.

I agree with the other posts that you're very lucky to even have a pony at your age, but at the same time I can understand that it kind of sucks that you can't do what you've wanted to do with her. Equitation9966 has a good idea, about compromising for size. In all honesty, the 15 hand range is a great size! I ride a gelding that's 15.1 and bringing him along for hunter jumper and he's doing fine. I'm 19 years old, 5'2 and not the thinnest, but not huge either so I feel you. But at his size he's plenty to get me over jumps!

As for your "friends" making fun of the size of your pony, well to be honest, I wouldn't be that keen on staying friends with them but that's just me. It's a really immature way to act, especially about expensive animals like horses. Who needs them if they need to make fun of someone to make themselves feel good?

Just make sure that you're wanting to switch for the right reasons and not because you're getting pressured to by your barn mates because I can tell you with 100% certainty that you will regret it down the road if you do it just to fit in. But we don't know you or your parents, and we don't know the whole situation so we can't really give you any good advice on convincing them. The best way to go about anything like this is to be mature and understand where they're coming from, and calmly explain where you're coming from and try to meet somewhere in the middle.
 
#23 ·
If you go to your parents and say you want a tall horse because your friends are getting tall horses, you're never going to win.

However, if you tell them that you feel it would be better to get a horse you won't grow out of, so you don't have to go through the entire process of buying and bonding with a new horse all over again in a few short years, they may be more inclined to listen.
 
#24 ·
I've seen some horses between 14-15hh that could really jump! They would often win too purely because of their speed and maneuverability that the bigger ones lacked. If you find the right horse, there is no reason that you can't progress, and then later on if you need something bigger you can look at that.

It would be ideal not to have to buy a new horse later on, but if you're serious about jumping then the horse you get now who is suitable for a young rider will probably not be the horse seriously competitive horse you need later on. And if you're not looking for something seriously competitive, then height shouldn't be too much an issue.

Talk to your mother, tell your concerns, but listen to her as well. There are lots of reasons to get a smaller horse, be it feed costs, pasture size or just ease of handling. Not to mention, with around 16hh being the standard kind of size for mid teens these days, you can often pick up talented, well trained but smaller horses easier than you can larger.

Be considerate, listen and compromise, maybe you can find a mid ground.
 
#26 ·
Perhaps you can come to an agreement with your parents and ask if you can lesson on 14.2-15 hand horses for the rest of the summer and then possibly look for a taller horse this fall/winter. That way your parents can see how you handle a larger horse and become comfortable with the idea themselves.

I am 5'6 and own/ride a 14.3 mare.
 
#27 ·
I can definitely see why this would be difficult for you, and as a parent of girls (11-16) who ride as well, I can also see things from a parent's perspective. My own horse is a 16.3 thoroughbred (and I'm 5'2"), and he is one of the bigger horses at my barn (mostly Arabians), so people are always commenting on how big he is. At a barn with mostly jumpers, he is pretty average. I love riding a bigger horse, and man can he jump! However, I was hoping my daughters could also ride him but am nervous about letting them. Much of it is his size, as he is a bit more difficult to manage, and he has tons of suspension and my trainer says he would just throw my youngest daughter out of the saddle. So, your Mom may have some legitimate fears about getting you a very large horse at this stage. I think this is a good opportunity for you to have a talk with your mom and approach things from the point of view of finding out what her concerns are, and make sure you don't come at her with a whine about how 'all your friends have big horses now'. This is also perhaps a good opportunity to learn to compromise. Figure out what you absolutely MUST have to be able to do the riding you wish (a horse that can jump what you reasonably would like to and can do in the near future) that your current pony is lacking, but be willing to give in on minor details like the exact size. My trainer has told me more than once that those smaller horses can do everything I would need, and even my tallest daughter (5'8") is riding the 14-15 hand school horses and does just fine.
 
#28 ·
Well I guess the OP won the battle, 2 days after posting this she posted on another thread that she and her mum were going to look at a 16.2hh prospect.

I don't know if that is the grey TB that she was looking at in May, ah, but also in May it was the end of the year or next year that she was going to be looking for a new horse.

Oh another TB in June....

Not sure if the OP is just daydreaming a little about her new horse.
 
#29 ·
Firstly 14.2hh isn't a bad height - another poster mentioned Stroller here's some more info on him http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroller_(horse).
Secondly moving up all of a sudden is a BIG change. I had an 11hh, then a 12.2hh, then a 14.1hh and then at 13 moved up to a 16.3hh straight away as fell in love him looking at 15.2hh's. He put me in hospital 5 times on his 2 week trial, he gave me whiplash, concussion, shattered my coxics, threw me over the arena fence so I rolled down a hill of stinging nettles, knocked me unconscious a couple more times and generally just bruised me. I was WAY overhorsed. However I'm stubborn and still have him 9 years on, but for the first 3 years I spent more time in hospital than I did riding and it's not fun. It's not something I'm proud of as if I'd of been more sensible I wouldn't have dodgy knes, ankles and a wrist and a clicky neck and spine at 22, and OK we got there, but don't move up to horses as everyone else does in a haphazard way, if your parents are saying 14.2hh go for it. And if you decide to stick with your 13hh for a little while longer, have you looked at mounted games? Honestly they're awesome fun and I spent about 4 years of my life doing them - plus the accuracy you need fo some of those games will give you transferable skills for showjumping for either when your parents feel you're ready to move up or for when you buy your own! And if it makes you feel any better, we brought another 12.2hh for my sister about 7 years ago, he's 23 now and I still have fun riding him very occasionally now but he's been on loan for 5 years now after my sister outgrew him to my mums neighbour for her 6 year old grandson. If you're mum's saying no I'm sure she has her reasons - and I wouldn't be surprised if it's for your safety!
 
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