Ideas On how to build my daughters confidense in saddle

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Ideas On how to build my daughters confidense in saddle

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    06-23-2012, 12:50 PM
Ideas On how to build my daughters confidense in saddle

Bre my 13 yo daughter is having a little trouble the last few rides. About 3 months ago she got kicked by Grace our mare. NO Grace did not mean to Kick her but she was not in a good spot. Grace was actually kicking out at a gelding that my daughter was leading. I was holding Grace and she got Upset at the gelding being to close and As I tried to move away from the other horse Grace kicked out and caught my daughterinstead of the other horse.
Bre is doing Great with confidence on the ground and doing ground work with Grace and even Riding alone. But the minute another horse is any where near her she literally shuts down. Then tenses up and Grace feels that and does the same.
I have told her to sit up straight and be the boss.
I am also thinking she needs to do more gound work and lunging to get more connected with grace.. is there any other things I can do to help her out?
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    06-23-2012, 08:04 PM
Maybe I posted in the wrong area???
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    06-23-2012, 08:37 PM
I think just more of what you are doing. Just takes time to get over such a fearful thing. Maybe approach it like you would bringing a horse toward a scary thing; the approach and retreat. So, go close to her on your gelding, then away, then close , then away, don't stay long enough for her to get anxious , once she is used to that, just come close like it's that same old thing, like you're gong to go away, and then don't. Just hang out . She might not even notice that you haven't left yet.
    06-23-2012, 08:51 PM
Is this the only horse there for her to ride? You mentioned a gelding. Seems like she would be more apprehensive on the ground if that's where she was when she got kicked. I don't really know except to say she may just have to ride through it. Does the mare normally kick at other horses who get close? O
If so she'll have to learn how to handle that if she's going to ride this horse. If it was just a fluke then it's probably just going to take time. Good luck.
    06-23-2012, 09:08 PM
I think the first issue that needs to be addressed is why Grace kicked out in the first place.

A) Doesn't like gelding/slightly aggressive ?
B) Daughter was leading too close ?

And tackle those two problems.

Also I recommend, if you can afford it, to put her in some coaching lessons.
    06-23-2012, 10:12 PM
Thank you all

Sky. It was actually a stress thing. We had had grace about a month. We took her over to the stable about a quarter mile down the road. Bre was to start lessons at the barn there. The gelding she was kicking at belonged to the lady giving lessons. I blame the kick only self actually as Bre was just holding the trainers gelding and he was calmly eating grass alittle ways from us. About 30 feet or so. I was standing holding grace talking to the trainer. I'm not sure if she wanted the gelding away from Bre or if she was just stressed at being there. Before I knew it I felt grace tense up and then it was over. And Bre had been kicked. I'm still beating my self up at what happened.
She has my gelding Cody he is 10 . And a stable mates gelding chance who is 22. Yes she can ride either.
She is just so worried grace will lash out at another horse that when she is near one she gets upset. I have shown her ( me riding grace) that she won't do that And if she gets " Lipy" I show her how to handle it.
Grace does need work on her being close to others and I have been working on that also. She was a only horse befor coming to us. She is fine with her stable mates. But Bre still gets worried riding close to them.. I hope that helps

It was allot to type on my iPhone.
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    06-23-2012, 10:21 PM
I totally feel for your daughter. I like Tinyliny advise maybe talk to the trainer and see if you guys can do that it's really sort of like desensitising the daughter. My husband did that with me lol I was new at holding horses and if there was something that needed to be gotten I would always volunteer to go get and not be the holder well he just sort of started rushing away not giving me time to volunteer lol it was hilarious looking back me begging don't leave me with them alone. Good luck
    06-23-2012, 10:22 PM
Yeah that does help :)

I think it's just going to take a long time for her to truly settle down and relax about more than one horse being in the same area.

In my eyes, your daughter did not know that could happen so she was overly trusting in the situation, kind of like Snow white and the evil queen posing as the old lady apple seller. Now that she knows horses can react violently in a defensive manner, and she has been made aware of that from an unsafe perspective, she will be a lot more careful.

It's like a horse that experiences something bad (maybe the water in the hose is too hot and scalds them, so now they don't like baths.) That horse will then anticipate the hose hurting them, so they'll get anxious, try to escape, etc. Your daughter is going through the same thing. She truly believes two horses or more = the horses are going to end up in a scuffle and she's likely to get hurt. So she's going to be anxious and try to avoid this situation at all costs.

ONLY time reinforced with good experiences will help her to build her confidence. But also her understanding the warning signs of a horse will help her too so she can fully take responsibility of her own well being. Are you following so far?

If she feels nervous and unsafe, she can remove herself in a safe manner.
Same with a horse that feels threatened, we teach them in spook in place instead of running around with their limbs chopped off even when they've escaped 'the crisis.'

I hope that helps you and I appreciate you taking the time to write that all out on your phone as I know how frustrating that can be!
    06-23-2012, 10:32 PM
Thank you sky. Very much. That helps me feel I am going onthe right direction with this. We will work more with what you all have said in mind. And I will have her read this also. Thank you thank you
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    06-23-2012, 10:35 PM
You're welcome.

I used to work with children, some autistic, and at times we ran into these kinds of problems. Plus I know a thing or two from confidence-shaking problems myself.

Wish you two the best of luck, keep us updated :)

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