I'm scared of failing
Yes. FAILING, not falling.
At long last, things are going SO well with my mare. She was never ever "bad" before (no buck, rear, bolt, running through my cues, or really any spook), just high-energy and tense, and, being a nervous and cautious person myself, it freaked me out.
Well, it seems like I've found the solution to all our problems. We could never trail ride before without her getting tense, then me getting tense because she's getting upset, and then her really getting scared because I'M getting scared, and...yeah. Well, the first thing I did was bring a music player (and a speaker) along in our saddlebags, so that when things get rough, I just zone out, listen to the music and chill while she figures out that whatever she's looking at isn't worth getting excited over (mostly because I'm not getting excited about it). That has REALLY helped me stay calm.
The second thing I did was take her out of her bridle. I figured out that she really needs her teeth done, and I'm betting that that was part of the reason she was so heads-up, zoned-out, spacey and such. Until we can find a vet and get her teeth done, I've just been riding in a halter and two lead ropes (if that), and every ride since I made the transition has had her head down, ears back on me, ambling along.
So, I think both factors have helped a lot.
Now, we've had a number of goods rides in succession. I haven't gone out too far, because I don't want to push it farther than I'm comfortable, but I've gradually been expanding the distance each day, and though at first she might start to look around, when I stay calm and listen to the music, she always settles right down and the rest of the ride goes with her head down and ears back, walking quietly along.
So...it seems ridiculous that I'm scared. But I am. I didn't ride the last few days, and today's excuse was "it's raining". I could easily have gone out before the rain, but I'm just...nervous. I am completely stupid for being scared to ride HER, but I'm not afraid of HER. After a good ride, I just want to leave it and not touch her again, because I'm afraid I'll mess everything up and we'll go back to being tense, anxious, and edgy. I KNOW I can do it, I KNOW I can ride her, I just don't believe it.
There's more behind this story (a lot more psychological and emotional factors) that I don't have time to explain right now, but can anyone give me advice or confidence-building statements to help me get over this fear?