I'm so frustrated!!!

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I'm so frustrated!!!

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    05-09-2008, 11:50 AM
I'm so frustrated!!!

So I thought Dumas was starting to come around... He's not. Turns out he just wants to nicker at us to let him out. We are a means to an end. He still wants nothing to do with us. He doesn't want scratched or rubbed. I can all but forget about bathing and grooming. He ALLOWS us to halter and saddle him. I am not sure what to do anymore... For the first time on the lead rope yesterday he tried to take off on me. I'm lucky how it turned out. I saw it coming and braced my self. He hit the end of the lead like a dog on a chain. He spun around like what the hell just happened? I tried to lunge him later ( couple hours ) and he would have no part of it. We ended up playing the backup now come here game. I'm just kind of lost. I don't know whether I should get a different horse or keep trying...Its getting really hard. He is a good horse under saddle but there is so much more to owning a horse other than riding. How can I get myself to trust him? He doesn't behave all that well when trying to do ground work unless he wants to do it.... what happens when he decided to flip out one day under saddle?

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired...I know in my heart he was trained old school with a whip and a line and made to move. This kinder gentler way of natural horsemanship is getting me no where with him and no respect from him.

He is not invading my space or being "dangerous" yet.

Any ideas on how to help? I'm getting to the end of my rope with him ... Good days and bad days are starting to piss me off... What's the point if he will only cooperate a couple days a month?

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    05-09-2008, 12:45 PM
Man it really sounds this horse is just tryin to really test you. What do you do when he acts up and stuff?
    05-09-2008, 01:12 PM
How old is he? Have you tried taking him away from his buddy yet?
    05-09-2008, 01:38 PM
Originally Posted by FehrGroundRanch
How old is he? Have you tried taking him away from his buddy yet?
To the best of my knowledge He's 8 or 9.

The best way to get a halter on Dumas is to halter Twister and take him out of the pen. Then Dumas will want to go too. Dumas will then stand next to you at the gate and allow himself to be haltered and have the lead snapped on. Dumas is usually really good with his manners once the halter and lead are on. (yesterday was the first time he had ever tried to take off) He will do the usuall and try to get some grass but he never pulls on you or steps into you. He will let you lead him just about anywhere you want to go. He stands tied very well. He is a statue when you saddle him. He resists the bit. We were told that you had to tie him to bit him when we got him and we have not been able to get his bridle on without tieing him down. He will not move when you mount or dismount and has been good under saddle so far.

Dumas does not want to be with us but knows his job ( trail rides).

My frustrations come when he is not under saddle but rather ALL the rest of the time. Its almost impossible to brush him. He will not stand still for it. He will constantly swing his rear end around towards you when he is not on a lead rope (to which I have just said no firmly and walked around to the front of him and tried again and if that failed I would shoo him off and try again if I keep getting his hind end.) and if he is on a lead rope he will swing his rear away from you so that you cannot brush much past halfway back on his body. He won't let you get to his mane as he will move or lift his head up so high you can't continue on grooming. He is afraid of the water, and spray bottles, and rags and sponges and the container eqispot comes in. We have never been able to touch him with anything other than ropes and hands except for a nice soft brush as I already said.

As for separating the two. Dumas will freak out when he discovers that he is alone. I have really noticed this in the past month while we have been letting them graze in the yard. Twister will go about his merry business of mowing the lawn and Dumas will look up and realize that Twister has moved on, usually around the side of the house. And start that panic sounding whinny and take off running untill he finds Twister. From what we can tell Dumas is usually in charge. Twister is just a lot more laid back.

We have not really tried to separate the two we haven't had a need to and we usually do stuff as a family so both horses are always used at the same time. Even when we have tried to work with one the other can usually still see them.

I hope this info helps... I'll answer whatever else you need. I'm just out of ideas short of throwing him in a round pen and working his arse off letting him know that we are in charge. I dunno... I want him to trust us tho. That's why we have been trying the nicey nice stuff for the last 6 months. Sorry this is so long I just need some direction.
    05-09-2008, 02:03 PM
Dumas- I have the same question Fehr has. Is he buddy sour by chance and freaking out when he's too far from his buddy? If he's buddy sour, it makes it difficult for the horse to bond with his owner because he has everything he needs from his horsey partner! Does that make sense?
    05-09-2008, 02:18 PM
Buddy sour makes sence. They play and kind of groom each other and such.

I do have another place I could keep Dumas. We have a pen right behind our house with a 6 acre pasture behind it and then behind the pasture is a corral and barn (empty barn no good for the horses) You can't see the fence line very well but the round hay bale is beside the fence.

The corral would be in the VERY back of this picture. Can't see or hear anything from the barn at the house and vice versa. Its almost 1/2 mile away.

Do you think the horses would panic not being able to see and hear each other or do you think this would be ideal? We kept the horses in the coral until we built the smaller pen behind the house so they are familiar with the coral.

Do you think Twister would flip out being alone?

Which horse would you put where?

Sorry for all the questions.
    05-09-2008, 02:33 PM
I would certianly seperate the two of them. Which ever horse you are going to be working more leave more accesible (sp?) I'm sure both horses will be upset when you first sperate but with time will get over it. I find that teaching a horse it's okay to be alone is a great method of training. It really does teach them alot more than just not to be herd bound.
    05-09-2008, 02:33 PM
That would make sense...maybe move him gradually? A bit of time each day away from his friend? ;)
    05-09-2008, 03:08 PM
I'll give it a try.

What about the scared of everything part of him. Its not the normal... Oh la de da I'm a horse and then all of a sudden what the heck is that! Oooh I'm frightened. Its just a flat out. I do NOT like that. Don't touch me.

Do you think that at 9 he is set in his ways of just not accepting new things or should I keep pressing.
    05-09-2008, 03:37 PM
I'm not sure if this is the right thing but would it be better to keep them apart during a time when you can be with him a lot? So he gets used to being with you alone and no other horse. I've never had to seperate horses so I'm not sure if that's good advice or not. It just seems to make more sense, if your going to seperate them, that the antisocial one should have you as a companion instead of another horse. Rather than leaving him alone for long periods of time. I worry he will totally freak out and hurt himself.

Sorry I'm adding more I never let a horse turn its butt to me unless I know they just want it scratched If any of them turn their backsides I push them around. I have even kicked, smacked and shoved them around.

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