I'm so frustrated!!! - Page 2

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I'm so frustrated!!!

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    05-09-2008, 03:53 PM
Originally Posted by Vidaloco
I'm not sure if this is the right thing but would it be better to keep them apart during a time when you can be with him a lot? So he gets used to being with you alone and no other horse. I've never had to seperate horses so I'm not sure if that's good advice or not. It just seems to make more sense, if your going to seperate them, that the antisocial one should have you as a companion instead of another horse. Rather than leaving him alone for long periods of time. I worry he will totally freak out and hurt himself.

Sorry I'm adding more I never let a horse turn its butt to me unless I know they just want it scratched If any of them turn their backsides I push them around. I have even kicked, smacked and shoved them around.

This is the thing. I don't work the horses together. I usually do it right outside their pen in my back yard. I have taken Dumas for MANY walks just he and I and he seems fine. He will lead darn near anywhere I want. I'm nervous that they will get freaked being alone. They are hardy horses that haven't had anything but a minor scrape. I don't want them trying to climb out of the corrall or something silly like that when I can't see them or hear them.

IF I could reach Dumas when he turns his ass to me I'd whack him a good one! EVERYTIME! He just does it out of arms reach but within striking distance. He is a sharp cookie! He has NEVER kicked at us... NEVER. The thing is that he COULD if he wanted to.
I don't trust him. One minute he is wonderful then you go to do something else and he gets super cautious. He STAYS at arms reach where you can't get up close to be safe. I think he sences that I don't trust him. And I know he does not trust me. I HAVE sat in his pen quietly for hours!!!!!! He just avoids me. He is not curious. He knows what I am.

I don't know if i'm trying to talk myself into or out of Dumas.
I have this little voice in the back of my head saying get rid of him. He's not trustworthy.
It also doesn't help that one of ours friends made a standing offer to buy him or trade horses for him. This friend is an accomplished horseman. No awards or ribbons. He just eat/sleeps/breathes horses. A true backwoods country boy. I'm sure he hasn't even heard of parelli. I keep thinking that putting up with a biatchy mare once in a while is better than putting up with a pain in the butt gelding all the time.

Then I think how good Dumas is sometimes and if we could just turn that corner and get some trust. He would be awesome.
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    05-09-2008, 04:00 PM
He might freak out at first but he has to learn to be alone with you. He CANNOT be where he can see Twister during this time. Especially during training. His focus has to be on you and only you. It's that whole "lungeing for respect" thing the ClintonAnderson and some of the others talk about. If a horse is on the lunge line running in a circle but looking at all his horse friends then he's not focused on you! Same principle. If Dumas is so worried about Twister and his whereabouts, he's not going to focus on you. Every little thing will freak him out. Kind-of like when you are focused on something really hard and someone comes up a merely touches your shoulder, you freak out!

I say put Twister inthe back pasture and Dumas close to the house. Work with him daily just on groundwork and respect. Over a good bit of time introduce them back together in little increments.
    05-09-2008, 04:03 PM
Originally Posted by ahearn

I say put Twister inthe back pasture and Dumas close to the house. Work with him daily just on groundwork and respect. Over a good bit of time introduce them back together in little increments.

That's what I was thinking of trying ahearn.
    05-09-2008, 04:16 PM
If you are looking for permission to trade/sell him for a horse you may more trust in, you have mine
I've had horses that weren't a good "fit" with me for one reason or another. I feel bad and cry when they go away but If I can't trust them or I don't enjoy riding them then bon voyage. I'm too old and break to easy with an untrustworthy horse.
I sold one just because she wouldn't look me in the eye and she had a trot like a jack-hammer. Even though she was a polite surefooted trail horse.
    05-09-2008, 04:19 PM
I definitely agree with Vida! I did the same thing with an appy I had. I worked and worked with him and he NEVER came around! It's worth a try to seperate the two horses and work with him, but if that doesn't work I'd have to seriously consider a trade or sale.
    05-09-2008, 04:33 PM
Ladies, I think you read between the lines....THANK YOU!
I TRUELY appreciate your time and wisdom this afternoon!

I am not a spring chicken myself. I'm old enough to know better and young enough to keep trying. I suppose that is part of my delima. If I get hurt trying to get this horse come around my whole family will suffer.

I will try to work them completely apart. IF I don't see any improvement after another month or so. I'm going to trade/sell him.
I think it would be best for all of us including him.

YA'ALL ARE THE BEST !!!!!!!!! ((((((GROUP HUG))))))
    05-09-2008, 04:36 PM
(((((((Big Hugs)))))) to both of you !
    05-09-2008, 04:39 PM
Keep working, good luck!!
    05-09-2008, 07:00 PM
Dumas you are a very smart lady! I've always said that there is no point in pushing for a relationship if there is never going to be one.

I sold Nita (the red roan that had the little filly Miss Legs) for the exact reason. I tried for two years to get along with her and we just never seemed to form a bond. I've never seen the point in keeping a horse around that you don't get alone with.

Now with that said, I hope that seperating the two monster (I call my horses that too, please don't take offense ;) ) makes Dumas a better horse for you.
    05-09-2008, 07:12 PM
I'll give it a go separating the two.

My husband worked with Dumas a tiny bit when he came home and wouldn't ya know it Dumas let him pet him :roll: just last night the hubby was ready to let Dumas go and now he's starting to rethink it.

With all this on and off again attitude we get from Dumas I'm starting to wonder if he is Bipolar! OK so I know he's not but dang....goofy horse!

Like I said we will try it for another month or so.

Thank you for your kind words and letting me know you all have had similar situations!

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