Awww, I am so sorry! I know how hard this can be. I rode a beautiful little mare for 3 years and always wanted to lease her but never was able to. She was sold recently, but thankfully by that time I had gotten my own horse. That's one sad part about horses, getting attached to ones that you don't own. It's never easy saying goodbye... but I always said I would never love another horse like I did that mare. But I was wrong... I would never trade my own mare, Jubilee, for anything in the world.
Hope things work out for you!