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LOL - Hilarious things non-horsey people say

76K views 435 replies 148 participants last post by  Tessa T 
#1 ·
I showed my boyfriend this picture, and this is what he said: 'Yeah, I've seen it - your horse denied it'


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


I think he meant, refused. =P What other funny things have you heard non-horsey people say?
 

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#10 ·
Hahaha...now thats a funny one!!LOL

I was at a gas station one time and I had my APHA dun gelding in my straight load trailer, you could just see him over the top. Some lady saw his dorsal stripe and she said "Oh, he is beautiful, is he part mule?"

Did you just go...um...NO! Or maybe just start laughing at her!lol (You DO have a beautiful horse though!!:D)
 
#97 ·
How about when people get ask you why your horses are 'blindfolded'?
This thread is awesome. You should have replied and said "Because they're afraid of the dark" and see if they could figure it out.
 
#8 ·
I hate when people come to ride at the stables I work at and they think they can make the horse go by shaking the reins up and down and going YAHH!! Even after giving them a riding demonstration before they get on a horse.
 
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#11 ·
"Why are your horses blindfolded? Can they see out of those things?"

However, my pig fat horses spend a lot of time in the spring and fall with fly masks *and* grazing muzzles...you should hear the questions I get about that...just once, I'm going to answer "Oh, THAT horse. He's criminally insane, those are restraints." or "Him? We call him Hannibal Lechter."

All time favorite -

Had a cute true black large pony in my barn for sale, lovely local hunt/show/pony club pony, good first pony. Clueless newbie parents and beginner child come try him early in the fall, in full coat, when he resembles a stuffed animal. Come back a couple of weeks later, after I've clipped him. Pony is gorgeous, sleek, fit, you can actually see his conformation and he is the typical gunmetal matte black of a clipped horse. Parents take one look at pony and give me the dirtiest look in the history of horse dealers and say accusingly "YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T HIS REAL COLOR??????????"
 
#12 ·
Oh, forgot one, I was taking out a trail ride and was riding one of the new horses in training in the front of the ride, and when we came across a creek we have to wait for all the horses to get done drinking. Well the horse wasn't thrilled about waiting, so he just did a little jig in place, tossing his head up every now and then. The guy asked, "is he buckin on ya?" then his horse starts dancing because the horse I was riding was, and he goes "WHOAAA now son!! Quit yur buckin!" I didn't tell him the horses weren't bucking.

Haha.
 
#13 ·
My pony was in a brand new bright blue rug one time and he broke out of his paddock into my garden my cousin saw this and rang me to tell me there was a blue horse running around my gaarden.......................

I told my friend i was going to a competition in France and she asked me will my horse swim over or how will it i get it there like seriously????
 
#15 ·
I was riding down the road to my barn one day and my mom was driving, and we were passing other barns' pastures, and she looks out the window and sees a paint rolling, and is like, "Oh my God! I've never seen a horse give itself a dust-bath like that before! He's like a hamster!" I was like, "Yeah, mom, that's called rolling." xD
 
#17 ·
My favorites are the ones who fall off at the trot or the lope and then swear for the rest of eternity that they were "bucked off just like at the rodeo" LOL.

I made the mistake of letting a novice rider get on Dobe one time. I told him that Dobe was very sensitive and you only have to move just the slightest bit to get him to go and whatever you do, DO NOT squeeze with your legs. He says "Yeah, yeah. I've ridden a couple of horses. I know how to do it." Well, he proceeds to get on, clamp down with both legs, and start yanking on Dobe's mouth when he kicked up into a lope. He keeps his legs clamped and keeps yanking and Dobe, poor soul, was so confused that he started crow-hopping and the guy fell off. Needless to say, he got his butt chewed off and he is not welcome to even pet any of my horses now.
 
#19 ·
Ahaha. I had just fed my horse a carrot and my one friend who was at the barn went to pet him, and I guess he thought she had a carrot, because he lipped at her. You know, where the don't bite, they just kind of search with their lips? Well, she screamed and for the rest of the week she went around school saying how my horse "savagely attacked her." lol.
 
#20 ·
My brother is not now, nor has he ever been, a horse person. (Odd, because he married a girl who was very horsey). When he was about 16, he decided to try to ride my cousin's horse. He clambers on - not a pretty sight - and picks up the reins, then says: "Go horsie." The horse just stood there, and my brother asks "Where's the accelerator?"

Guess you just had to be there.
 
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#21 ·
Ha ha this thread is funny. :D (ooo and Flitter, your horse is gorgeous!!!!)

When we do riding lessons, we always use terms like, "ask your horse to stop" or "ask your horse to back up". It's always so funny when the people actually ask the horse "stop, Gypsy!" or "Nadeyus, turn!".....
 
#32 ·
When we do riding lessons, we always use terms like, "ask your horse to stop" or "ask your horse to back up". It's always so funny when the people actually ask the horse "stop, Gypsy!" or "Nadeyus, turn!".....
I think you might be on this. Did you ever explain to them just what you mean when you say "ask"? Then why do you think it's funny when they do exactly what you, the instructor, asks them to do?

For that matter, why is it funny to expect a horse to respond to voice commands?
 
#23 ·
I really love it when stuck up children who think they know everything about horses would ride in my lesson time. I would sit on my horse and they would walk around the arena saying "trot ^insert horse name, go faster". And then when they finally figure out how to get their horse to trot, they start freaking out saying their horse just keeps running off on them.

And my responce to these kids is always, "Don't let him"
 
#25 ·
We have a barn full of super sleepers. They all love to sunbathe. We had a humane officer show up at our farm a few years back and asked to see the horses. We are a rescue and didn't ask any questions. We figured someone had turned us in because we have 'a barn full of half dead horses'...people who report need to look a little deeper before picking up the phone! This time, he came because they got a call that we had half a dozen dead horses laying in a field. The person was so adamate that the horses were dead, he called a dozen times! We all laughed so hard...the officer included!
 
#28 ·
We have a barn full of super sleepers. They all love to sunbathe. We had a humane officer show up at our farm a few years back and asked to see the horses. We are a rescue and didn't ask any questions. We figured someone had turned us in because we have 'a barn full of half dead horses'...people who report need to look a little deeper before picking up the phone! This time, he came because they got a call that we had half a dozen dead horses laying in a field. The person was so adamate that the horses were dead, he called a dozen times! We all laughed so hard...the officer included!
On that topic - a friend of ours had the cops called out on him because a lady INSISTED his 3 draft horses in the field were on fire. It was a colder day and he had just put them out to field after working them so you could see the heat coming off them. She was freaking out about putting them out before they burn to death!!!!
 
#26 ·
My grandfather and his girlfriend were visiting us and my hubby comes walking in with a pink lunge whip I had bought that morning and a questioning look, so I say it's a lunge whip for my horse. My grandfather's girlfriend said she rode horses as a kid but she NEVER hit her horse with a whip and looks horrified. So I explain that it's not used to hit the horse, I put my horse on a long line and hold it behind her so that she'll go in a circle around me. Girlfriend says "oh, when I was a kid, we put a saddle on the horse and rode it.....we never did these newfangled things like making the horse run around with nobody on it"
 
#29 ·
These are great!
I was riding Remi at my house and my neighbor (who is a older lady) comes down and starts to watch. When I walk out of the ring to go up on the trail she asks me what breed he was. I said he was a draft horse. When she heard that she had the most shocked look on her face and says "You can RIDE those?! I thought they could only pull plows!!?"
I laughed soo hard about that.
 
#63 ·
haha brilliant, how old WAS she?! lol

My heart horse was a bay, purebred Arabian gelding.

I had him in the crossties grooming him one day, when another boarder's BF (I don't board anymore) came wandering up and asked what he was.

When I told him Arabian, he said, "An Arabian, huh? When is he going to turn white?"

I told him, "He won't gray out, he's a bay and will stay this color."

He said, "Well, then he can't be a real Arabian, 'cause all of them turn white!"

I gave him a strange look and told him, "No, Arabians aren't all gray. They really do come in different colors."

Dipstick continued to insist that I couldn't possibly have a 'real' (purebred) Arabian, 'cause he'd read somewhere that all of them turned white, and I must have gotten ripped off.

At that point I just gave him a, 'You're a total dumbass and I'm done with this conversation' look, unhooked my horse, and walked away shaking my head.
haha what?! never heard of that... :P

Why am I the only freak here who finds the way you worded this amusing? :twisted:


Mine is making fun of my own kid, big meany-me. When we went to meet Misty, the pony I eventually bought for him, her previous owner (a 9 year old girl) told my then 5 year old son that Misty "walks right through water."

My son misunderstood her and told everyone that would listen for the next three months that his new pony "walks on water" :lol:
haha this made me laugh!

good thread my giggles for the day.

Dad: are you going to put William's overreach on?
Me: no dad, not for travelling
Dad: but you ALWAYS do!
Me: no they are his travel boots :roll:
Dad: doesn't he need his overreach as well? he is getting really wound up about this
Me: no, dad, overreach are generally for riding :P

Mum: Don't forget to take your stirrups with you!
Me: do you mean spurs mum?
Mum: yeah... whats the difference?

Mum: have you got his stirrups on?
Me: yes he's all tacked up and his stirrups are attached to the saddle... like they always are.
Mum: how about the ones on his face?
Me: thats his bridle :/

Mum: did we need to get new stirrups whilst we are here? [local farm store]
Me: no... we got some not so long ago, remember, they were a late birthday present ?
Mum: oh yeah... what do I mean then?
Me: um bit?
Mum: thats the one
Me: no he has one im happy with

Boyfriend: he's brown isnt he?
Me: no bay :)
conversation continues
Boyfriend: whats a gelding?
 
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