I had been riding since I was 6 or 7 up until about 15 or 16. Hunters, jumpers, reining, western pleasure...and I was fearless. I loved going fast, always wanted to gallop if allowed, would jump and do sliding stops bareback, etc...fast forward to 25 and here I am being iffy about certain things.
Up until about three years or so ago, I hadn't ridden in a while, then my ex-boyfriend's mom had some horses that I'd ride. Trouble was, her horses were all problematic. Barn/herd sour, super spooky...all were gaited, on high-energy feed, never got worked or properly trained...you get the picture. You can imagine how going from a long period without riding to jumping on spooky, untrained horses went...
I got bucked off a few times, taken off with while mid-air during mount, etc. Now, I just feel like I have lost all my confidence. My horse is great, and I keep expecting him to do something silly, and to this day he still has not. But I still find myself holding my breath and praying while mounting, and being rigid and too-far into my own head when trying to canter (another feat I have yet to overcome...)
The only thing I can think of is taking a few lessons to regather my confidence (and also touch up on my riding because I know that it is very, very rusty). Just was curious if anyone else has had this problem? I think it's because when we're young, we are fearless and don't worry so much about getting hurt. But now I don't want to end up in the hospital and out of work for weeks! This is so frustrating and upsetting.