Lost all my confidence ... and ability.

Hi everyone,

So I'm in my first year of university and a month before I left, the horse I had been part-boarding for the past four years was sold to another girl who rides out of the same barn ... which just made the fact he got sold all the worse. Now when I go to the barn, I feel like I can't even go up and say hello to him because he's not my coach's anymore. The girl who bought him is a really good rider, and she's really nice, she just has wealthy parents who can buy a horse for her :S I can't help but be jealous. I was pretty devastated after that but I continued to ride other horses at the barn every now and then, but it was just never the same.

I recently had a break from school and went to the barn to ride a couple times for the first time in 6 months and it went awfully. I have completely lost my seat and I feel like I am right at the beginner beginner stage again ability wise. I also feel timid riding, and I have never felt like that before. This combined with seeing the horse I love and knowing I'm never going to be able to ride him again has just made my confidence level plummett.

Does anyone have any ways to build up my confidence again? I know the seat will come slowly with the rebuilding of muscle, but how can I get over this lack of confidence? I am so surprised with myself for feeling this way, but I am almost dreading going back there this summer once school is out!

You are half right. What did happen when your confidence decided to take a walk was that you think your ability went with it - but it didn't.

You can only build up your confidence with time. Ride horses that you are ok with, but not that are too easy, you need to have those 'ah hah' moments for your confidence to rebuild.

I am sorry that you still have to see your old horse, but I would certainly still love him when you see him and say hi. I wouldn't groom or ride of course, but you can go and pet him and talk to him.

Believe in yourself, you were able to have a good seat once, you did that - so there is no reason why you can't again.

Must be hard to see your old horse with someone else. You know the old saying, " When a door closes, a window opens somewhere else."

You will be ready for a new horse when the time comes. Different horses require different ways of riding. I had this lease horse for 2 years who needed a lot of leg, all the time. When I got a new lease, I put that leg on him and he nearly went ballistic! So, my point is that I had to relearn how to ride for the new horse anyway.
Not to worry, when you get the new horse, you'll have some struggles at first, but you'll relearn and learn how to ride THAT horse.

Good luck at University!

Well if you feel at the beginner stage, get a private beginner lesson. That will help you a lot. It will show you exactly where you are and where you need to work on. Because essentially you are back at the beginner level, at least muscle wise. When your muscle starts coming back your confidence will slowly start rising because you can DO stuff again. Till then your mind will be ahead of your body which will just be frustrating.

I started riding on a pinto mare who was pretty much perfect for me, but now someone else rides her. It's werid seeing it, but I guess she's ok with the new rider, which makes me feel ok. If the new owner would be terrible to her and of course, the new owner of 'your' horse was, it'd be bad.
Don't worry about your riding abilities too much. Just ride a lot. It's not like you lost everything, you just have to get it back. Most importantly, enjoy riding, with any horse. Like everyone before me said, not to worry.
Also, getting a trainer is a good idea of EmilyandNikki. Pretty much everyone could use someone looking at how they ride, if 'beginner' or not.

I hope you'll feel confident again soon, and enjoy riding :)