This might not be for me - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 03:51 PM Thread Starter
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This might not be for me

At least it seems that way.

I love horses; but I am crippled by my 'mental issues' and it's taking a toll. I'm not only envious but frustrated-I see others with so much more experience and not to mention much younger, and I'm only eighteen; but the problem lies in the fact that after nine lessons of doing the same thing; I'm not progressing. I'm worried that I won't have the time or money to be around horses anyway, and when I can't move forward and stay at the same level, I feel as if I'm wasting everyone's time. So much so that I become 'discouraged.'

I'll let the pros ride instead; maybe I'm much happier on the sidelines. I once upon a time wanted to become a vet; but I really never grew up with animals or had much contact with them until now. Anyone would much prefer someone who has had animals and experience as a toddler or so. In short, I'm undesirable for the field. Maybe I'll have a swing of luck someday (fat chance).. so I'll be spending my Saturdays/Sundays in a therapy session. It might be for the best.

**If I depressed any of you, I apologize immensely-please, don't feel bad for me and go ride :)
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post #2 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 04:22 PM
Green Broke
 
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Nonsense. I know a woman that got into Saddlebreds at age 50. Had never had a horse in her life, and was hefty to boot for her height. Did wonderfully. And had never been around them either. Just saw a picture of a 5 Gaited Saddlebred and said "That's what I want to do" and did it.

9 lessons is nothing. You would not expect to be able to play at Carnegie Hall with 9 lessons. Same here.

I would say by 20th lesson or so? You will feel click. But if money is issue? Then go volunteer to work off lessons...at your age? I imagine that barn would be glad to do that.

And being around horses more will only help here.

Get your butt back in the saddle!

Horses make me a better person.
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post #3 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 04:41 PM
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If you are not clicking well in the place that you are taking lessons, try to find somewhere else. Some teachers are not all that great.

You are not too old. You are just starting out in life. I rode from the time that I was eleven, but I think that the lessons that I learned in those early years were wrong. I was probably 30 before I had a clue how to properly ride a horse. If I had waited until then to start, I might have been a better rider because I had to unlearn so much stuff.

As far as lifestyles and the money for having horses, choose a career that will allow you to afford horses. Veterinary medicine takes 8 years of college and the salaries are not all that high. You can make almost as much money with a two year RN degree. Horses can cost a lot of money, but if you work a job, you'll want something to entertain yourself with, and horses are safer than some forms of entertainment and certainly healthier.

My horse saves my life. Without her, I would probably be too discouraged to go on.

Celeste

Last edited by Celeste; 06-02-2013 at 04:44 PM.
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post #4 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 04:56 PM
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I started riding at the start of this year!!! I was awful during all my lessons but now that I have my own horse its all just clicked, or im doing it wrong ahaha my steering still leaves a little to be desired :) carry on! Even if you can only afford one lesson a fortnight or do what palomine said and offer to work it off, I know a place near me that for an hour of poo picking, stable cleaning etc. you get a free hour lesson. And horses are all the therapy you need! I should know im a pretty messed up kid but I don't want to go into that because it'll make everyone sad ( nosey send me a message and we can have a deep covo ;)) but since I've been riding I have felt so much better about things. Keep going! Its fun
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post #5 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 05:48 PM
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If you learn anything from horses, it is that time is not a factor. Some people can do one clinic and come away riding 100% better. Others can take weekly lessons for 10 years and never improve. Everybody learns at their own pace. To gauge your progress against others is useless. Horses are also individuals. What works for one does not work for another. A good instructor can teach you how to ride the horse that you are on regardless of it's quirks. Another can just keep you stuck. If this instructor doesn't work for you, try another.

You just have to see your distance...you don't have to like it.
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post #6 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 05:57 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celeste View Post
If you are not clicking well in the place that you are taking lessons, try to find somewhere else. Some teachers are not all that great.

You are not too old. You are just starting out in life. I rode from the time that I was eleven, but I think that the lessons that I learned in those early years were wrong. I was probably 30 before I had a clue how to properly ride a horse. If I had waited until then to start, I might have been a better rider because I had to unlearn so much stuff.

As far as lifestyles and the money for having horses, choose a career that will allow you to afford horses. Veterinary medicine takes 8 years of college and the salaries are not all that high. You can make almost as much money with a two year RN degree. Horses can cost a lot of money, but if you work a job, you'll want something to entertain yourself with, and horses are safer than some forms of entertainment and certainly healthier.

My horse saves my life. Without her, I would probably be too discouraged to go on.
Thank you for the advice; but, it's not the barn I went to (I stopped with lessons) although if I did continue sometime in the future, it would be at a different barn anyway upstate. Also, I'm not looking into careers based on salary- I'm looking into careers that I will be content in. I may change my mind on career path anyway. Salaries with anything animal related aren't the best, I know, thank you for that dreadful reminder. Thankfully I have other interest.

I don't want to own a horse because I lack any real type of responsibility due to add and anxiety related issues. Due to those; I feel old-in fact, the stress is aging me. I appreciate all the support. People believe that it's a "willpower" issue; but it it not. I'm not pulling any excuses here, I'm literally deteriorating. I am 18 in the body of someone three times my age, and that's what stress does.

Last edited by Finalcanter; 06-02-2013 at 06:05 PM.
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post #7 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 06:14 PM
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It's very hard for you to put into practice this bit of advice, ( at your age, I mean), but RELAX!
I know you don't feel this way, but you are so very young still, so have a long time to progress. And, often times the person themselves cannot see the progress they themselves are experienceing.

Every time you get ready to mount up, say this , : "I am SO grateful to be here". Everything else is gravy.
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post #8 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 06:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celeste View Post
You are not too old. You are just starting out in life. I rode from the time that I was eleven, but I think that the lessons that I learned in those early years were wrong. I was probably 30 before I had a clue how to properly ride a horse. If I had waited until then to start, I might have been a better rider because I had to unlearn so much stuff.
You too? Glad it wasn't just me.

Op, horses are the greatest therapy in the world, and not always by riding, hanging out, grooming, watching, just being there, are all great stress relievers. Stop beating yourself up and just relax and enjoy, that is what riding is about, not about measuring your progression, but by measuring your enjoyment
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post #9 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Finalcanter View Post
Thank you for the advice; but, it's not the barn I went to (I stopped with lessons) although if I did continue sometime in the future, it would be at a different barn anyway upstate. Also, I'm not looking into careers based on salary- I'm looking into careers that I will be content in. I may change my mind on career path anyway. Salaries with anything animal related aren't the best, I know, thank you for that dreadful reminder. Thankfully I have other interest.

I don't want to own a horse because I lack any real type of responsibility due to add and anxiety related issues. Due to those; I feel old-in fact, the stress is aging me. I appreciate all the support. People believe that it's a "willpower" issue; but it it not. I'm not pulling any excuses here, I'm literally deteriorating. I am 18 in the body of someone three times my age, and that's what stress does.
I have BPD, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Fibromyalgia and Crohns. I am 28 years old. You want to talk about being a 90 year old in a young persons body?

Sorry to sound blunt and crude but to me it sounds like you are either off your meds, or need a change in your meds. As well as more consistent therapy sessions.

Horses are therapy. Its what they do best. The horse world is full of people with mental issues, physical issues and any sort of disability you can imagine. Horses give many of us a reason to keep going. My jumper coach(who is one of the only level 4 jumper coaches in the world) has not been able to sit in a saddle in years because of injuries.

One of my best friends can not ride because her anxiety gets the better of her and she panics when the horse stumbles. Yet she is a groom for a large show barn and loves it. I know others who will just find things to do with mini's or take up equine photography... there are so many ways you can be involved without riding if you don't think being in the saddle is your thing.

Though I suspect you have something else going on and you may need to talk to someone to sort it out.

Chin up, there is so much support out there for you. Something will work out *hugs*
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post #10 of 28 Old 06-02-2013, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Palomine View Post
Nonsense. I know a woman that got into Saddlebreds at age 50. Had never had a horse in her life, and was hefty to boot for her height. Did wonderfully. And had never been around them either. Just saw a picture of a 5 Gaited Saddlebred and said "That's what I want to do" and did it.

9 lessons is nothing. You would not expect to be able to play at Carnegie Hall with 9 lessons. Same here.

I would say by 20th lesson or so? You will feel click. But if money is issue? Then go volunteer to work off lessons...at your age? I imagine that barn would be glad to do that.

And being around horses more will only help here.

Get your butt back in the saddle!

HEAR HEAR! Get that butt back on and quit your dumping on yourself.

The above could be describing me. Except I got on a horse for the first time in July 2011 and I was 64 years old and I am not a small woman by ANY stretch of the imagination. But once on, I never looked back. I don't have the money. My husband lost his job for a while. So I sold stuff on ebay. I mean, look around, really - who has money? You do what you have to, maybe buy group lessons at a discount, look for groupons, ask around at the barns to see if you can do some barn work or whatever they have in exchange for lessons.

If I were 18, hell, things would probably have taken an entirely different turn had I found horses when I was a young woman. I'd probably have gone west....heaven only knows where my life would have gone. Maybe I'd be a honkeytonk singer. Follow your dream little girl! Don't look back and don't dump on yourself! Ride at your pace. But RIDE!
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-Cynthia
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